This post is written by HoneyGood.com Guest Contributor, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein. She dives into her work in filmmaking, which stemmed from her novels and experience as a psychologist. Darlings, enjoy her piece and you can learn more about her films here.
From Psychology To Filmmaking
I’m a psychologist who became a filmmaker less than four years ago. I’ve had my license as a psychologist for more than 35 years and I have been in practice for all of those years. The treatment room and the world around me have given me great insights, adventures, trials and tribulations and moments of joy and happiness. Filmmaking came to me relatively recently, as an outgrowth of two books I wrote for girls, The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween and Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen.
They have astounded me with feelings of accomplishment and joy. Also, remembering happy moments in my own past always brings me intense feelings of pleasure. I now understand the connection between our positive memories and the enjoyment of films. This connection is relevant to feeling good and being uplifted both in daily life and as a grandparent.
Highlighting Positive Memories
First of all, the reason our positive memories work so well for us is that we don’t remember every aspect of a pastime. With a romantic weekend in college, for example, one may remember walking, holding hands with the young man, the things he said, the museum you visited and the romantic time in his car late at night. However, you may have forgotten if your contact lenses bothered you, if a stocking had a snag, if you a sore throat was on its way or if you were sorry you hadn’t brought your red sweater.
We can’t preserve all of our memories. We may even mess up the order of events or forget some happenings. A chain of sweet memories that brings meaning to us hold our lovely recollections together.
Preserving Memories In Film
Now let’s look at filmmaking. Any film that takes all of the happenings surrounding an event into account would be mind-bogglingly boring. Instead, a good film selects ample moments, events, conversations and settings to intrigue and draw us into the storyline. I think I have succeeded in doing this in all of my short films.
The treatment room is real life, left raw. That needs to be dissected, reflected on, mended and brought into a new framework. Films and our positive memories are already pruned; they’re cleaned up so that they can help us stay optimistic, joyful and intrigued by life. Likewise so can a good play, novel, even good poetry.
Bringing Joy Into Our Grandchildren’s Lives
All of this has meaning for our precious grandchildren and for us as grandparents. As grandparents, we bring direct joy and pleasure into the lives of our grandkids without all the constant reminders, chores and added tumult that goes with the hustle and bustle of daily living. We don’t have to discipline or criticize. Instead, we hug and kiss, play with, build up, have fun with our grandkids. Of course, we may need to become parent-like in a moment, if necessary.
However, by and large, we delight in our grandkids and they know it! This opens the door again and again to time that is neither flooded with rules nor regulations, neither criticisms nor chores. Instead, it’s a time that is full of laughter, fun–potentially exploring hobbies, travel or events that parents don’t have the time, money or interest in. We are analogous to a great film or a wonderful memory in the sense that we select and give only the good. Thus, grandparenting is another gateway to bliss, making our own lives more joyful as our grandkids are delighted. What a win-win for all!
Can you remember feeling some of the ways the girl feels? I would love to hear from you in the comments below about how you felt growing up. In addition, please share the joys you experience as a grandparent!
About the author, Guest Contributor Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Sometimes friends and colleagues call me ‘The Enchanted Self.’ That’s because as a psychologist in private practice for over 35 years, I’ve developed a form of positive psychology called THE ENCHANTED SELF. I’m not enchanted, but I do have many ways and ideas to help all of us feel better through all stages of life. These methods help us recognize our potential, regardless of our age, to grab on to our talents and find again and again the emotional energies needed to be creative, resourceful, resilient and to live joyfully.
As a woman, a grandmother, and a psychologist, I’m excited to share some of my knowledge and wisdom with you. I’ve written many books, including two books for girls, The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween and Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen. Also a book for adult women, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. I’m a filmmaker as well. My short films about girls, tweens and teens have won many awards. Often based on my two books for girls, they are great stepping off points for moms and grandmothers to share with their kids. You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or via my website www.enchantedself.com.