Vulnerability

Vulnerability is at the very core of the human experience, shaping the way we connect, love, and live our lives. As research professor Brené Brown so beautifully explains, vulnerability is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when we can’t control the outcome. It’s about daring greatly—taking risks, facing uncertainty, and embracing the courage to be our true selves, no matter how daunting it may feel.

In a world that often tells us to hide our feelings and put on a brave face, choosing to practice self compassion and embrace vulnerability is a radical act. It means acknowledging our fears, opening ourselves up to the possibility of hurt, and trusting that our relationships and our lives will be richer for it. The idea of vulnerability isn’t about weakness; it’s about having the courage to live authentically, to take risks, and to let ourselves be seen—flaws and all.

When we dare greatly, we invite deeper connections and a more meaningful life. We learn that vulnerability is not something to be feared, but a powerful tool for growth, healing, and wholehearted living. By understanding and embracing vulnerability, we give ourselves permission to practice self compassion, build stronger relationships, and step into the fullness of who we are meant to be.

Daring to Be a Vulnerable Woman

A small group of friends who were all businesswomen, including myself, were asked to share their elevator pitch. An elevator pitch is a speech that describes the brand of a company. Why is it called that? Because it should take no longer than it takes an elevator to go from the top floor to the ground floor; less than a minute. It describes the brand, what it is selling, and the goal of convincing others to purchase it. Just like in business, the way we present ourselves in our professional life can shape how others perceive us and influence our opportunities.

After each of us gave our elevator pitch, one of the girls suggested we have some fun, “Let’s write an elevator pitch about ourselves as though we are a brand.” She ‘sold us’ on her idea! Sharing these ideas about ourselves not only sparked creative thinking but also helped us better understand and accept our own skin, encouraging authentic self-acceptance. The words we choose to describe ourselves play a powerful role in shaping our self-perception and can empower us to embrace vulnerability.

Each elevator pitch was quite telling about each of us… These ideas revealed different aspects of our personalities and how we view ourselves. It makes sense to feel uncertain or vulnerable when sharing personal descriptions, as this is a natural part of self-discovery.

My Elevator Pitch

“I am a hot pot of vegetable soup with an assortment of bright and colorful vegetables. I am a little bit of this and a little bit of that. You will enjoy me as a product because I am diversified.” This metaphor is a way of expressing my true self.

Sometimes, a single word or phrase can capture the essence of who we are, and choosing the right word can be a powerful act of vulnerability.

Understanding Vulnerability

Vulnerability is so often misunderstood in our culture. Many people equate it with weakness, but in reality, it is a profound strength that allows us to connect with others in a truly meaningful way. To be vulnerable is to be open and honest about our feelings, thoughts, and experiences—even when it feels uncomfortable or risky. This process can bring about strong emotional reactions, from fear and anxiety to relief and joy, but it is through these moments that we grow.

Vulnerability shows up in everyday life in countless ways. It might mean initiating sex with a partner, sharing a deeply personal story, or simply admitting when we don’t have all the answers. Each of these moments requires us to take a risk, to be seen, and to trust that we will be accepted as we are. This willingness to be vulnerable is what builds shame resilience—the ability to recognize and manage shame triggers, rather than letting them control us.

When we embrace vulnerability, we give ourselves the ability to live more authentically and wholeheartedly. We learn that our feelings are valid, that our so-called weaknesses are actually sources of connection, and that the process of being vulnerable is what makes life rich and rewarding. Vulnerability is not about exposing ourselves to harm, but about opening ourselves up to the possibility of deeper love, understanding, and growth.

Simply Be

I like my alone time because it gives me a chance to simply be. As I laid in bed that night next to my Ultimate Concierge and pooch America, the stillness of the night and their rhythmic breathing was the perfect setting for me to think about what top quality attracts me to other women. In that quiet moment, I felt a deep sense of clarity and self-awareness as I reflected on my own experiences.

I decided I am attracted to a woman who shows her vulnerable side. Are you surprised by my answer? I assume so because most people think the definition of vulnerable is weakness. Think again, darling! Ask yourself, do you show a vulnerable side of yourself? That was the moment I realized how important vulnerability is in building genuine connections.

Without question, I have zero problems showing my vulnerable side. I am ‘blessed’ that I have no fear in acknowledging my vulnerabilities in the presence of others. It does not bother me in the least to be unknowing and powerless or show my real emotions. Embracing vulnerability is an ongoing process that requires courage and self-reflection. My ability to be vulnerable expresses to others that I am genuine, and not a lot of fluff.

It shows a woman’s inner power and self-confidence when she can accept what she doesn’t know and be excited to learn. What might happen when women allow themselves to be vulnerable? Often, it opens the door to deeper relationships and personal growth. This is a ticket to self-growth. Embracing your whole self is key to building trust and authenticity. This also allows her the freedom to ask for advice while at the same time letting others know she is not perfect. This is very attractive in a woman because others will trust her. I remember a time when something truly meaningful happened after I embraced vulnerability—it led to a stronger connection and understanding with those around me.

The Power of Emotional Exposure

Emotional exposure is at the very heart of what it means to dare greatly in our own lives. As human beings, we are wired for connection, and yet, it often takes tremendous courage to openly share our feelings, thoughts, and experiences with others. According to research professor Brené Brown, emotional exposure is the foundation of wholehearted living—it’s what allows us to step into our true selves and live authentically, even when we feel vulnerable.

In everyday life, feeling vulnerable can spark strong emotional reactions—fear, anxiety, or even the urge to hide. But it’s precisely in these moments of uncertainty and risk that we have the opportunity to transform our lives. When we embrace vulnerability, we invite deeper relationships, richer experiences, and a greater sense of belonging. By practicing self-compassion and allowing ourselves to be seen, we develop shame resilience, which helps us navigate the shame triggers that can so easily hold us back.

One of the most interesting things about emotional exposure is how it can strengthen our relationships. When we dare greatly and let our guard down, we create space for trust and intimacy to flourish. Couples who are willing to be vulnerable with each other—who can talk about their fears, desires, and even their mistakes—often experience fewer divorces and more fulfilling partnerships. Making a mistake becomes an opportunity for learning and growth, rather than a source of shame. This openness allows both partners to feel heard, valued, and truly connected. Hearing each other’s vulnerabilities is essential, as it deepens the connection and fosters genuine empathy.

But emotional exposure isn’t just about relationships with others; it’s also about the relationship we have with ourselves. By acknowledging our vulnerabilities and practicing gratitude for the lessons they bring, we build a stronger sense of self-worth. Talking openly with oneself and others is a powerful act of self-acceptance, helping us embrace our imperfections. We learn to accept ourselves, flaws and all, and to see vulnerability not as a weakness, but as a sign of courage and growth. As Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.”

Academic literature shows that shame triggers—those moments when we feel unworthy or not enough—can keep us from living wholeheartedly. Yet, when we practice self-compassion and develop shame resilience, we can move through these moments with grace and strength. Each step forward represents points of progress in our journey toward wholehearted living. We realize that everyone has vulnerabilities, and that sharing them is what makes us human.

At one point in my own journey, embracing vulnerability led to a significant breakthrough in understanding my own worth and the power of authentic connection.

In the end, emotional exposure is a powerful tool for living our best, most authentic lives. By daring greatly, taking risks, and embracing the full spectrum of our feelings, we can transform not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us. So, darling, let’s hold space for our vulnerabilities, practice gratitude for our journeys, and remember that real vulnerability is the key to wholehearted living. When we embrace our true selves, we give others permission to do the same—and that is the greatest gift of all.

Overcoming Fears and Obstacles

Fear is one of the biggest barriers to vulnerability. The fear of rejection, the fear of being hurt, and the fear of exposing our true selves can feel overwhelming. These fears often stem from shame triggers—those moments when we worry we’re not enough, or that we’ll be judged for our imperfections. But as Brené Brown teaches, we can develop shame resilience by recognizing these triggers and responding with self compassion.

Practicing self compassion means treating ourselves with kindness when we feel vulnerable or afraid. It’s about acknowledging our fears without letting them dictate our actions. By taking small, intentional steps—like sharing a personal thought with a trusted friend or allowing ourselves to feel hurt without shutting down—we begin to build the courage to be more open in our relationships.

Overcoming the obstacles to vulnerability is a process, not a one-time event. It requires us to be gentle with ourselves, to practice gratitude for our progress, and to remember that everyone experiences fear and shame at some point. By facing our fears and choosing vulnerability, we open the door to deeper connections, greater self-acceptance, and a more wholehearted life.

An Empowered Woman

Are you surprised that I said I was blessed that I show my vulnerable self? Don’t be. I think a woman who allows herself to show her vulnerable side is an empowered woman. She is resilient and cleared-eyed and honest because she is not afraid to be herself. I can tell a vulnerable woman by her actions. She avoids blaming others and instead takes responsibility for her feelings. I know I can trust her. And, I know I will respect her. I know she will perceive me as a woman who has no fear of showing her vulnerable side. And, most probably we will be friends.

Remember this darling, everyone is scared of something. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, we fear losing ourselves when we are open, but that is part of the journey. At one time or another, everyone feels the intimidation of another. It’s natural to feel hurt or even be hurting when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Trust and respect are built on honesty and openness, but blaming can undermine relationships and make true vulnerability difficult. Vulnerability and honesty not only strengthen friendships but also help families build deeper bonds and understanding, fostering emotional connection and resilience.

Embracing vulnerability means accepting that we may live disappointed at times, but this is part of wholehearted living.

Building Resilience

Resilience is the secret ingredient that allows us to embrace vulnerability and navigate life’s challenges with grace. Building resilience means developing a growth mindset—seeing setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as failures. It also means practicing self compassion, especially when things don’t go as planned.

Academic literature shows that individuals who build resilience and hold space for themselves and others are more likely to experience fewer divorces, stronger relationships, and a greater sense of well-being. When we hold space for our own feelings and the feelings of those we love, we create an environment where vulnerability is not only accepted but celebrated.

Resilience gives us the ability to bounce back from disappointment, to reframe negative experiences, and to keep moving forward with courage. By nurturing resilience, we empower ourselves to live authentically, to support others in their vulnerability, and to create relationships that are built on trust, understanding, and genuine connection.

A Powerful Woman

A powerful woman is not afraid to expose her fears, her susceptibilities, and her feeling of powerlessness. This makes her real. So, think of the grandeur you will feel by exposing your vulnerabilities to others. When you expose your doubts, your lack of knowledge, and an open and kind heart, you will attract the right type of women to be in your company. Wholehearted people are those who embrace their whole selves, including their imperfections and struggles, and live authentically with courage and worthiness. Modeling vulnerability within the family can create a supportive environment for growth, helping children and loved ones learn the value of authenticity and emotional openness.

Personally, I am not attracted to women with bravado, a bold manner intending to impress or intimidate. There is a clear difference between bravado and genuine vulnerability—bravado hides insecurity, while vulnerability reveals true strength. These women could never show their vulnerability because in truth they are insecure and are afraid others will see them as weak. The fear of losing one’s sense of self or power can prevent genuine vulnerability from emerging. They are not true to themselves and this stifles their growth, creativity, and kindness towards others. Subtle forms of social rejection or betrayal can be crazy making, leading to emotional confusion and making it difficult to trust one’s own feelings.

Striving to be our best selves means facing hard things, even when it feels uncomfortable. In the same way, everyone faces vulnerability and discomfort, regardless of their background or circumstances. Confronting each hard thing helps us grow and become more authentic. The pain that comes with vulnerability is real, but it is a necessary part of growth and deeper connection.

The point is that embracing vulnerability and facing hard things is what empowers us to live authentically and connect deeply with others. Embracing vulnerability also means accepting uncertainty risk, which can lead to both personal growth and moments of discomfort.

Creating a Supportive Environment

A supportive environment is essential for vulnerability to flourish. When we feel safe, seen, and accepted, we are more likely to share our true selves and engage in difficult conversations that deepen our relationships. Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of empathy, active listening, and validation in creating this kind of space.

To foster a supportive environment, we must be willing to take risks, to talk openly about our feelings, and to hold space for others without judgment. This means being present, practicing gratitude for the trust others place in us, and encouraging those around us to embrace their own vulnerabilities.

When we create a supportive environment, we invite a sense of belonging and connection into our lives. We give ourselves and others permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, and to grow together. By embracing vulnerability and building supportive relationships, we can live a life that is true to who we are—one filled with meaning, joy, and wholehearted living.

An Authentic Woman

Vulnerability gives you the gift of owning yourself. Embracing vulnerability allows you to live your own life with authenticity and courage. You are authentic. You are the captain of your ship.

Darling remember, not all women will appreciate how marvelous you are. They may view you as powerless when you show ‘the real you’, your vulnerable side. Sometimes, it can feel as if your entire life is exposed when you are vulnerable. Many people in the general population experience similar feelings of exposure and vulnerability. This is about them. This is not about you. The anxiety that comes with vulnerability can feel like waiting for the other shoe to drop, anticipating something negative just around the corner. At your age, you know who you are. If you are a closed woman, try to be open. Openness will give you your personal freedom to bloom. On the other side of vulnerability is transformation and growth. Recognizing your own shame trigger can help you move through vulnerability with greater self-awareness.

Being a vulnerable person transforms not only yourself but also your relationships, as vulnerable transforms foster deeper connections and authenticity. Living with whole hearts allows us to embrace life fully and love authentically.

Do you believe yourself to be a vulnerable woman? Or, do you struggle with your vulnerability? Let’s talk about it in the comments at the bottom of this page!

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