If you’re looking for advice to my girlfriend about life, this is a heartfelt collection of the lessons women pass to one another—wisdom shaped by friendship, family, mentors, and even difficult relationships. I know I have learned from all of them. Until today, I don’t think I had consciously thought about how many different types of women have entered my life, leaving me with lessons both big and small. Young, vintage, bright, not-so-bright, rich in emotional wealth, poor in character, funny and sad, uppers and downers, visible and invisible, women with hearts of gold and, yes, a few real bitches too. Such is the marvelous variety of female connection.

Think about it. From the women in our families to our friends and ‘girlfriends,’ to women we work with, buy from, or serve in some capacity, by this stage in our lives, we have gathered enough stories, observations and advice to write volumes on the feminine mystique. For women who want inspiration, better relationships, and personal growth, these shared lessons can help with everything from managing expectations and valuing silence to gratitude, self-care, style, reconnecting with old friends, and choosing authentic connection over surface ties.

We have many fantastic women in our lives. Some stay and some pass through, but I call all of them “keepers” in one way or another. These women, in some manner, positive or negative, have enhanced our lives. Through their unique advice or through their poor behavior, they leave their footprints, earning our stamp of approval or disapproval. Paying attention to those footprints matters, because the women around us shape how we see ourselves, how we love, and how fully we live.

Amazing Advice from Girlfriends

After reading my musings on a few of my special keepers, perhaps take the time to pick up the phone and call the special women in your life and tell them how appreciative and grateful you are for their friendship, their teachings, their positivity and optimism, and their warmth and kindness of heart. Your call will brighten their day because when you compliment another woman, she often feels an immediate rush of joy.

I want to share the stories of some very special women who left their footprints on my life. Their stories are important and though they are strangers to you, their wisdom may enrich you, as it has me.

Now onto these marvelous women. Each has a lesson, and none of them knew they were mentoring me.

Advice From My Girlfriend About Expectations in a Healthy Relationship

“Don’t expect anything from anyone, and you will never be disappointed,” was the advice from my girlfriend, Barbara. My loving, wise, and kind-hearted friend gifted me this advice on a day when I was having doubts.

The sentence, which I had never heard before, rocked me into reality. I remember I literally felt my body go into a state of what I can only describe as luxurious tranquility. The phrase was harsh, but her words hit me, and I immediately understood her positive and matter-of-fact message.

An unfortunate truth is that family, friends, and others can, accidentally and with no ill motive, disappoint you, so put their situation into perspective before you have a meltdown and feel neglected. In situations like this, it is your turn to weigh your expectations.

Advice From My Girlfriend to “Delete”

“I am sick and tired of dealing with women who bore me or upset me so I added a new word to my vocabulary… DELETE.”  These words were said to me by a dear friend during a phone call. All I could envision was the delete key on my laptop as my finger hit DELETE.

“Why, that would take less than one second!” I thought to myself. I started laughing so hard. It was one of the best mentoring lessons I ever gave myself. Not every woman deserves a front-row seat in your life. Some relationships drain rather than nourish. Delete.

Fashion Advice From a French Girlfriend

My girlfriend Florence (who lives in France) and I were walking arm in arm down a street in Paris. She was wearing a light gray pinstripe suit, carrying a pink Kelly bag, and wearing pink high-heeled shoes. I was also dressed in gray, including my handbag and shoes! That is only one of the differences between American and French women.

She said to me nonchalantly as we walked, “American women always wear black shoes and a black bag with a black suit or gray shoes with a gray suit or white shoes with a white suit. Don’t do that anymore, Suzi. Treat your shoes and handbag as colorful additions.”

A great lesson in French style, and one I have never forgotten. Accessories, dear reader, should not always blend in. Sometimes they should sing!

 

Silence From a Girlfriend’s Perspective

“I love the silence of the night,” emailed a friend in the middle of the night. I was jet-lagged from a flight from Europe. She obviously just enjoyed the night. To this day, I have never forgotten her profound words.

Silence is an art. We live in the age of speed, and nothing is more revitalizing than slowing down your body and mind by grounding yourself in silence. Truthfully, I love the silence of the day, too. It is a tonic. I learned to love the silence even more on my visit to the Serengeti. 

There is something holy about silence. In silence, we hear our thoughts, calm our nerves, and come home to ourselves.

The Advice From a Girlfriend About Gratitude

“Keep a journal and pencil next to your bed and each morning before starting your day, write down one, two, or more reasons you are grateful,” said a saleswoman in the shoe department when she fitted me with new shoes.

What a wonderful idea and what a wonderful way to start my day. Grateful people are happy people. Ungrateful people will never be happy. I spend time every day with my journal and a healthy dose of gratitude.

Imagine that. A saleswoman in a shoe department became one of my teachers. Wisdom is everywhere, if only we are open enough to receive it.

Three Girlfriends From the South

After I saw Gone with the Wind, I wished I were a Southern woman! Truth be told, I would have loved the name Scarlett. I am fortunate to have three Southern girlfriends, Emily, Norma Jean, and Janice. Two are from Virginia, and one is from South Carolina. All are old friendships.

Sometimes a Listening Ear is Better

I met Emily in Honolulu over 35 years ago, and we became fast friends and are to this day. We often speak on the phone, and Emily visited me in Chicago and attended the ZOA Gala in Palm Beach last month to support me. We are kindred spirits.

When my late husband died, she was the girlfriend who tapped my shoulder at the funeral and whispered in my ear: “I am here to listen to you.” Listening first fosters an environment where feelings can be validated, and active listening strengthens emotional connections in relationships. In hard moments, open communication can deepen the bond and help a relationship hold steady. It was the opposite of telling me she would talk to me and give me advice. She is still here to listen, and I have learned from her that simply hearing is passive, while real listening in a conversation is what builds understanding. We are sisters.

Dear reader, having a sincere friendship happens seldom, so hang on to your nearest and dearest.

Gems of wisdom from a Southern Belle

I think I met Norma Jean in London at an International Real Estate Congress. My memory of our meeting isn’t perfect, but I do recall how drawn I was to her. We became fast friends.

Norma Jean taught me how to think like a Southern Belle. “Pause, Suzi, don’t rush. Take your bath and soak.” She also taught me how to get a room I liked in a hotel. In her sweet and soft Southern drawl, she instructed me to demurely ask the check-in clerk to show me the type of room I described the first time, so he wouldn’t have to ride up and down the elevator showing me several rooms.

It was great advice from my girlfriend, and it works, sweet reader. My ultimate concierge, who always checked us in, used Norma Jean’s advice.

My Soul Sister From the South: Embracing Your Own Life

I met Janice in Kankakee by the Sea at school! We went through 18 years of school together, but did not run in the same groups. She now lives in South Carolina, and we email at least twice a month.

She was the most popular girl, the cheerleader, the Prom Queen, and every queen in between. Somehow, she found HoneyGood.com, and every once in a while, she would leave a comment. I was shocked when I saw her name in my comment box. One day, I decided to email her, and we have been emailing ever since!

We sign our emails: Your soul sister from the South. Your soul sister from the North. And, believe it or not, we really are soul sisters. We wish we lived on the same block! Staying close to old friends while keeping your own life and own hobbies helps protect your identity, and healthy relationships also leave room for outside friendships and interests over the years. We are small-town girls. Both of us love nature, and making space in your free time for that kind of personal interest can make you a more interesting person and deepen a friendship. We love our families. That sense of individuality brings happiness, and a little fun in something unconventional earns bonus points, too.

Darling, consider reconnecting with a school classmate or old friend. Time has a way of softening old boundaries and making room for beautiful reunions.

Women of the World Are My Mentors

Choose to make acquaintances from all walks of life. Be multigenerational. I have acquaintances and best friends from all over the world who have enriched my life tenfold.

Some stand out as sisters. Some have been mentors in fashion, world events, philanthropy, and philosophy. They are women of all ages, nationalities, and religions. I am taken with everything about them. I pinch myself because I have been so fortunate.

One of my daughters remarked last week, “How did a small-town girl from Kankakee by the Sea go on to lead such an amazing life?” I was startled by her compliment, and I kept silent, offering a big smile and a bigger hug. Later that day, when I was alone, I thought to myself, I am my mother’s daughter.

Embrace The Gift of Advice From Girlfriends

A woman should be open to meeting women of all types, from all walks of life and backgrounds. Women play an important role in enhancing your personal growth because they share and confide. Don’t fear opening yourself up to different types of women. Go out of your way to introduce yourself.

Remember, women need women. And women are looking for friendships, especially after they retire, move, or become empty nesters.