I have always, from the time I was a young girl, cherished and respected my relationships with my girlfriends. I observed my mother and her friends, and they left a positive impact on me. After listening to many women throughout the past few years, I discovered friendships after 50 are simply more important, so add women with varied interests and subtract those with distasteful traits.
Women With Varied Interests
Over the past few years, I have been fortunate to have met some lovely women by chance. One on a cruise, one in a woman’s dress shop and one at a dinner party. Three separate meetings that I believe were meant to be. They are women with varied interests. Instead of the meeting being ‘a one-day stand,’ we made it a point to continue meeting for lunch or walks or a day at the museum and eventually introducing to our husbands or partners to one other. Over time our relationships turned into meaningful friendships. As empty nesters, we have time to invest ourselves in meeting new people, while remembering our dear lifelong friends. As the saying goes, “Variety is the spice of life.” Why put all your eggs in one basket, darlings! The morale of this story: you have to work at every meaningful relationship.
Subtract Women With Negative Agendas
- If you are giving more than you are getting there is not an equality in your relationship. Of course, we should give more when we are needed and visa- versa. I think friendships should feel equal; feel natural.
- She is not happy for you. This happens often. I think this is natural because women compete with one another. You have to decide if it bothers you. These women are usually competitive to a fault. You can feel their angst.
- She excludes you with mutual friends and includes you only when it suits her. She knows exactly what she is doing. This is a pecking order friendship. Pass unless you can clear the air.
- She gossips. If she gossips to you about others, I can guarantee you she will gossip about you. Beware!
- She is a phony bologna: It may take a while to figure her out, but once you do, bail.
My darlings, if you want to walk away because a woman you know has proven to be unworthy of your friendship, I would like to share my thoughts.
I am a people pleaser. I like that I enjoy pleasing women until they are no longer pleasing me. When I say to myself, “When I am in your presence, you make me feel uncomfortable,” that woman is out of my life because she is making me unhappy.
And, my darlings, when I walk away, I say to myself, “You are a fierce woman over 50.” You must remember, darlings, that the word fierce, is a very positive word.
“I am a fierce woman because I am loyal.”
“I am a fierce woman because I am loving.”
“I am a fierce woman because my husband and family always come first.”
Before Signing Off
I have met hundreds of women in my life. 99% of them have lovely qualities, and the other one percent astounded me by their actions. I just shake my head and keep my distance. I am very fortunate, like most of you, to have friends that hear me, validate me, are loyal, are happy for me, do not judge me, laugh with me and listen to me. They help me and accept me unconditionally. I hope they all know and feel I am the same kind of friend. I know that is what you hope, too.
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