It’s never easy to rejoin the dating pool after a divorce or a long time away. A lengthy period off from being single can make us fearful of the next step for our dating future. And dating after 50? We have friends who seem to do it so easily. Yet we add unfair pressure to ourselves when we think about the notion of dating.
It’s important to realize that there are fewer self-imposed barriers for empowered women. There are new opportunities for women after divorce to find new excitement and even new relationships. It’s about motivating your dating self and understanding what you truly want at this healthy, vibrant age. Luckily, there are a few tips that can help you with dating after a divorce.
Building Up Emotional Strength
If you’re just getting out of a divorce, then it may be a particularly tough time getting back into the dating world. You may first want to wait until you’ve built up the emotional strength to date again. There is no rush. Waiting about a year after legally divorced is what most experts recommend, although this could be different for you.
Building up strength for your emotions is about detachment from your previous marriage. This means focusing on the present-day and doing your best to “move away” from that period of emotional dependence that you had with your former spouse. You’ll want to concentrate on forming new habits, engaging in new day-to-day routines, and creating new interests for yourself that you possibly didn’t have the opportunity to do when married before. (We’re talking about one now, aren’t we?)
Make sure that you concentrate on the various forms of emotional support you have. Reach out to friends, family, therapists, or other forms of emotional care who have supported you throughout the divorce process. Taking on this emotional task is not quick or easy. But it’s important to remember that you’re a powerful and independent woman who has already gotten through the first step. And that you deserve the chance to create a positive future for your dating self.
Taking Charge of Your Decisions
We certainly had some fun back in our teens and twenties. Getting the chance to be romantically free and embrace new experiences was a breath of fresh air. However, we probably didn’t always make the best decisions when it came to our relationships.
Now that we’re single again, it’s essential to make a mental divide between then and now. A USA Today survey asked singles 50 and older about their dating life. 60 percent responded by saying that they make better decisions about dating compatibility today than when they were younger.
What can we take from this? To start, when looking for the right person to date (whether online or in-person), be clear to both them and to yourself about what you’re looking for. Know what characteristics, manners, communication styles, and other traits are important to you. Have a positive mindset regarding what you’re looking to learn about him. This period of discovery is a healthy chance to communicate openly and have your conversation flow in the direction that you want.
It’s easy, especially if you’re using an online dating app, to let a dating conversation partner take control of the dialogue. We all know that men can sometimes talk about themselves way too much, to the point of allowing the entire discussion to go to waste. At that point, what have either of you gained?
Ensure that you are both communicating at a conversational level. Share information about yourself that you want him to know. If you’re interested in him, ask him questions about topics that you’re keen to find out.
Women are masters of communication. If you’re out on a date and it’s going well, show enthusiasm with laughter or a passionate smile. Make it exciting by talking about subjects you personally enjoy. That way, you are also both getting to know one another in an entertaining way. After all, dating after 50 is still supposed to be an enjoyable experience.
Also, an added tip: don’t complain about your ex too much on your date. You must be honest, but this is a topic that could eliminate any positive vibe that your conversation has.
Expanding Your Possibilities
Relationships are about commitment. Having just come out of a long-term relationship, you know all about that. Make sure that you’re not putting too much pressure on yourself by looking for another relationship right away, as that may be a sign that you’re looking for a short-term crutch rather than a healthy, new connection.
It’s important not to put added stress onto ourselves when it comes to dating. There’s no unwritten rule that states that you should get jump back into a long-term relationship immediately. In fact, as previously mentioned, this would have adverse effects on your mental health. Dating is all about connecting with potential partners, finding common interests, and sharing your experiences–all in a wholesome way.
To do so, think about expanding possibilities when it comes to who you want to date and which community you can find them in. Utilize online dating apps like eHarmony, Match.com, and Hinge, which are recommended for dating after a divorce. Look into creative communities like cooking or artistic groups to have an exciting date, as well as meet new friends. Expanding your possibilities is about having an open mindset, while also having a bit of fun along the way with your potential partner.
It’s always tricky coming out of a long-term relationship, and even more so after a divorce. But the dating clock never stops, and every woman carries with her a unique beauty that deserves to resonate. With these helpful tips, we’re confident that you can motivate your dating self and meet your next romantic partner.
Were these tips helpful in guiding you on how to start dating again after a divorce? Let us know if you have any comments or questions, below! We want to hear from you.
About the Author: Veronica Baxter is a writer, blogger, and legal assistant operating out of the greater Philadelphia area. She frequently works with and writes on behalf of Lee A. Schwartz, a busy Philadelphia divorce lawyer.
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