You’ve Gotta Have Hope in Elsewhere!
For several weeks I have been telling myself, “Make a plan for yourself.” I have always had a plan, even if it was subconscious. My plan had a beginning, a middle, and an end; not made in stone, but a plan. Living in Elsewhere has denied me the ability to make a plan; I cannot visualize one. My razzle-dazzle persona is frazzled and I know I gotta have hope even in Elsewhere because I am longing for some sort of normalization in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I still laugh and smile and put on my red lipstick, but my laugh is no longer as hearty. My smile is a little forced. As for my red lipstick, I am glad I still have the desire to put it on along with a spritz of my Baccarat 540.
Life Has Changed in Elsewhere
Everything about Elsewhere goes against my grain. I no longer live outside the box, take little risks, walk down Michigan Ave with my pooch, America, or smile at strangers, meet a friend for lunch, or shop till I drop. I feel like a slug.
Are you feeling like I am? Somewhat hopeless living in this foreign place I named Elsewhere? After nine months I am longing for my old routine. But my brain is overburdened with thoughts that are foreign to my way of life. The COVID-19 worldwide virus and the serious repercussions associated with it; People dying from illness and destitution. Lockdowns, anarchy, businesses closed, and young people going bankrupt because their businesses have been shut down. An uptick in suicides, loneliness from lack of family and friends, and the mental and physical violence I hear in the voices of people I watch on my television.
This foreign place has made my once pleasant predictable life unpredictable; so much so that I feel threatened. I know, I gotta get back my hope in Elsewhere.
Loss of Control
The threat of the loss of control over my life makes me irritable, stressed, and fearful. I feel at times I have lost the me in me. And, because I am a woman with moxie, I am filled with indignation toward those who are sitting on their high thrones with little knowledge of this disease like dictators. They throw out their edits to complement their goals and dreams, not ours, 350 million strong. How can they do this I ask my Ultimate Concierge? What if they were the ones suffering…
I have been asking myself what I must do for myself to have hope. At this time in my life, I have one option. I can take care of the me in me… And, I can take care of my body and mind with self-discipline that I feel will last a lifetime. That will give me self-satisfaction and hope.
We Used to Function…
Every one of us used to function before Elsewhere and COVID-19 in a predictable manner; meaning going to the market, taking a fitness class, going to work and meeting friends for dinner. Taking a trip, shopping in stores, visiting family and grands. Let’s not forget listening to our grandchildren talk about school. In Elsewhere we live with the threat that if we do something predictable we are putting ourselves at ‘risk.’
I wish I could continue to explore life, develop creative ideas, and feel joy knowing my life has meaning. I know you do too. So, what can we do, darling? Well, we all have choices.
We Cannot Wait…
We can wait until the COVID-19 passes; just settle in and hide out in our homes or we can think perhaps of establishing a new and positive predictable routine that works. We ‘can’ incorporate ways that have meaning and adapt them to what works for us. Our goal is to bring hope, joy, and satisfaction back into our lives.
Over the past nine months, I have to admit I have slowly become undisciplined. I used to have a routine. The routine lifted my spirit and provided me with structure. The structured routine gave me pleasure and a feeling of accomplishment and definite control. I was anchored. It was good.
Not now. I lost it…
Control Rests Within
You and I cannot control what happens outside our door so we have to create a discipline to lift our spirit inside the four walls of our abode. That is our hope. Our hope comes from within.
Before COVID-19, I took an early morning walk with America. I put on my red lipstick, my shades, and spritzed myself with Baccarat 540, and off we went to meet the world. When I arrived home, I brought my Ultimate Concierge his coffee and a sweet of some sort and we read the papers with the TV going and talked about our day and our future. Then we had breakfast with America. After breakfast I got on my treadmill for 30 to 45 minutes, then showered and started my day. I called my mother, my honey bees, my kids and grands and then start working. The discipline and structure gave me a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of power over my life.
As you have known and can certainly tell, I am in a personal funk in Elsewhere. I said to myself as of late, “Self, get your act together. You organized your home. Now you have to reorganize and take care of your needs so you will stay strong and feel vibrant.”
Bring Structure Into Your New Way of LIfe
Little by little I have begun. But I am far from feeling great. I wrote to you that I am working in my closet. It is a start. Working on my outer self. I am taking virtual Yoga classes twice a week. It is extremely difficult but as I mentioned, I like my teacher. This morning, I promised myself I would go on my treadmill daily again. I know the treadmill will help my attitude. This daily routine will bring order and discipline back into my life. Self-discipline creates a pattern of positive mental improvement for me.
If you are feeling as I am, you might consider structuring your life. Maybe you would be fulfilled meditating each day at a specific time, or working in your garden; weather permitting.
The Insanity of Living in Elswhere
Last night at 5:15 p.m., we put America in the car and drove to the vet for his appointment. I lowered the window a small amount allowing the fresh air to come in. I felt a sense of freedom and peace as we drove down familiar streets I had not seen in months.
It all changed when we arrived. It was dark. I had been told when I made the appointment to park in the parking lot, call the vet and an attendant would come out for America who was there for a yearly exam. The attendant took America who kept turning his head as if to ask, “Why aren’t you coming with me? Why is this stranger taking me away from you?” There was nothing I could do. I had no control.
We sat in the car in the parking lot, waiting. The Vet called us with questions, took our credit card over the phone, and then told us his report would be sent via email. No personal contact.
Thirty minutes later, an attendant brought America back and when I opened the door he leaped into my arms taking my breath away! I hugged him to me, kissing him while he gave me a million licks. I ask myself; when, if ever, Elsewhere will be Somewhere over the rainbow.
Arriving back to our building we met a young mother with twin boys age six. We are friends. We rode up in the elevator and she told me they had just spent a week in Saint Barts! “You did!” I said with joy in my voice. “Tell me about your time!” She told me it was marvelous. I listened carefully to her every word and for a short time, I felt the pang of a return of normalcy. So much so that when we parted company, I asked my Ultimate Concierge if we could book a trip to Saint Barts. His answer, “Let’s book for February.” I felt my little heart go pitter-patter even though my brain told me, “Slow down.” Elsewhere reared its ugly head back to reality. I recalled what I heard on the news. “If you want to travel, you will have to have the vaccine.” No choice. A directive.
It is My Choice to Change My Feelings
I believe my chance of regaining optimism in Elsewhere rests totally with me. So, I will eat better than I did yesterday and I will contact long lost friends. I will start at 3.4 miles an hour for 30-minutes on my treadmill and work up to 4 miles an hour and 45 minutes. And, I will also use my incline. Darling, I will not forget to take my vitamin D3, my Zinc, and my calcium daily. I will sip on warm water with lemon and I will dream of taking risks such as showing more and more of my vulnerability and traveling to Rwanda to see the Silver Back Gorillas.
In other words, I am going to concentrate on disciplining my inner-self so I can exist exquisitely in Elsewhere.
Don’t you just love the word exquisite?!
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