My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

You’ve Gotta Have Hope in Elsewhere!

You’ve Gotta Have Hope in Elsewhere!

For several weeks I have been telling myself, “Make a plan for yourself.” I have always had a plan, even if it was subconscious. My plan had a beginning, a middle, and an end; not made in stone, but a plan. Living in Elsewhere has denied me the ability to make a plan; I cannot visualize one. My razzle-dazzle persona is frazzled and I know I gotta have hope even in Elsewhere because I am longing for some sort of normalization in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I still laugh and smile and put on my red lipstick, but my laugh is no longer as hearty. My smile is a little forced. As for my red lipstick, I am glad I still have the desire to put it on along with a spritz of my Baccarat 540.

Life Has Changed in Elsewhere

Everything about Elsewhere goes against my grain. I no longer live outside the box, take little risks, walk down Michigan Ave with my pooch, America, or smile at strangers, meet a friend for lunch, or shop till I drop. I feel like a slug.

Are you feeling like I am? Somewhat hopeless living in this foreign place I named Elsewhere? After nine months I am longing for my old routine. But my brain is overburdened with thoughts that are foreign to my way of life. The COVID-19 worldwide virus and the serious repercussions associated with it; People dying from illness and destitution. Lockdowns, anarchy, businesses closed, and young people going bankrupt because their businesses have been shut down. An uptick in suicides, loneliness from lack of family and friends, and the mental and physical violence I hear in the voices of people I watch on my television.

This foreign place has made my once pleasant predictable life unpredictable; so much so that I feel threatened. I know, I gotta get back my hope in Elsewhere.

Loss of Control

The threat of the loss of control over my life makes me irritable, stressed, and fearful. I feel at times I have lost the me in me. And, because I am a woman with moxie, I am filled with indignation toward those who are sitting on their high thrones with little knowledge of this disease like dictators. They throw out their edits to complement their goals and dreams, not ours, 350 million strong. How can they do this I ask my Ultimate Concierge? What if they were the ones suffering…

I have been asking myself what I must do for myself to have hope. At this time in my life, I have one option. I can take care of the me in me… And, I can take care of my body and mind with self-discipline that I feel will last a lifetime. That will give me self-satisfaction and hope.

We Used to Function…

Every one of us used to function before Elsewhere and COVID-19 in a predictable manner; meaning going to the market, taking a fitness class, going to work and meeting friends for dinner. Taking a trip, shopping in stores, visiting family and grands. Let’s not forget listening to our grandchildren talk about school. In Elsewhere we live with the threat that if we do something predictable we are putting ourselves at ‘risk.’

I wish I could continue to explore life, develop creative ideas, and feel joy knowing my life has meaning. I know you do too. So, what can we do, darling? Well, we all have choices.

We Cannot Wait…

We can wait until the COVID-19 passes; just settle in and hide out in our homes or we can think perhaps of establishing a new and positive predictable routine that works. We ‘can’ incorporate ways that have meaning and adapt them to what works for us. Our goal is to bring hope, joy, and satisfaction back into our lives.

Over the past nine months, I have to admit I have slowly become undisciplined. I used to have a routine. The routine lifted my spirit and provided me with structure. The structured routine gave me pleasure and a feeling of accomplishment and definite control. I was anchored. It was good.

Not now. I lost it…

Control Rests Within

You and I cannot control what happens outside our door so we have to create a discipline to lift our spirit inside the four walls of our abode. That is our hope. Our hope comes from within.

Before COVID-19, I took an early morning walk with America. I put on my red lipstick, my shades, and spritzed myself with Baccarat 540, and off we went to meet the world. When I arrived home, I brought my Ultimate Concierge his coffee and a sweet of some sort and we read the papers with the TV going and talked about our day and our future. Then we had breakfast with America. After breakfast I got on my treadmill for 30 to 45 minutes, then showered and started my day. I called my mother, my honey bees, my kids and grands and then start working. The discipline and structure gave me a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of power over my life.

As you have known and can certainly tell, I am in a personal funk in Elsewhere. I said to myself as of late, “Self, get your act together. You organized your home. Now you have to reorganize and take care of your needs so you will stay strong and feel vibrant.”

Bring Structure Into Your New Way of LIfe

Little by little I have begun. But I am far from feeling great. I wrote to you that I am working in my closet. It is a start. Working on my outer self. I am taking virtual Yoga classes twice a week. It is extremely difficult but as I mentioned, I like my teacher. This morning, I promised myself I would go on my treadmill daily again. I know the treadmill will help my attitude. This daily routine will bring order and discipline back into my life. Self-discipline creates a pattern of positive mental improvement for me.

If you are feeling as I am, you might consider structuring your life. Maybe you would be fulfilled meditating each day at a specific time, or working in your garden; weather permitting.

The Insanity of Living in Elswhere

Last night at 5:15 p.m., we put America in the car and drove to the vet for his appointment. I lowered the window a small amount allowing the fresh air to come in. I felt a sense of freedom and peace as we drove down familiar streets I had not seen in months.

It all changed when we arrived. It was dark. I had been told when I made the appointment to park in the parking lot, call the vet and an attendant would come out for America who was there for a yearly exam. The attendant took America who kept turning his head as if to ask, “Why aren’t you coming with me? Why is this stranger taking me away from you?” There was nothing I could do. I had no control.

We sat in the car in the parking lot, waiting. The Vet called us with questions, took our credit card over the phone, and then told us his report would be sent via email. No personal contact.

Thirty minutes later, an attendant brought America back and when I opened the door he leaped into my arms taking my breath away! I hugged him to me, kissing him while he gave me a million licks. I ask myself; when, if ever, Elsewhere will be Somewhere over the rainbow.

Hearing Stories

Arriving back to our building we met a young mother with twin boys age six. We are friends. We rode up in the elevator and she told me they had just spent a week in Saint Barts! “You did!” I said with joy in my voice. “Tell me about your time!” She told me it was marvelous. I listened carefully to her every word and for a short time, I felt the pang of a return of normalcy. So much so that when we parted company, I asked my Ultimate Concierge if we could book a trip to Saint Barts. His answer, “Let’s book for February.” I felt my little heart go pitter-patter even though my brain told me, “Slow down.”  Elsewhere reared its ugly head back to reality. I recalled what I heard on the news. “If you want to travel, you will have to have the vaccine.”  No choice. A directive.

It is My Choice to Change My Feelings

I believe my chance of regaining optimism in Elsewhere rests totally with me. So, I will eat better than I did yesterday and I will contact long lost friends. I will start at 3.4 miles an hour for 30-minutes on my treadmill and work up to 4 miles an hour and 45 minutes. And, I will also use my incline. Darling, I will not forget to take my vitamin D3, my Zinc, and my calcium daily. I will sip on warm water with lemon and I will dream of taking risks such as showing more and more of my vulnerability and traveling to Rwanda to see the Silver Back Gorillas.

In other words, I am going to concentrate on disciplining my inner-self so I can exist exquisitely in Elsewhere.

Don’t you just love the word exquisite?!

Honey Good Signature

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16 Comments
  1. My word I can really relate to this. Thank you, I have been thinking just the same. I have lost my sense of purpose and got very slack over the course of the year. Everything seems out of sync and so starting tomorrow I will do something about it even when my heart isn’t into it. Although lots to be grateful for this Elsewhere is not good for the Soul! You are an inspiration to do something positive about it. To Thine Own Self Be True Honey!

    1. You are not alone in your feelings. Everything around us is making us out of sync. I am also grateful but this is not good for my soul either. Read my this Sunday Story. The last part will help you find your purpose. Warmly, Honey

  2. A simple thank you. So beautifully expressed. Exactly what I needed this morning as I sip my first cup of coffee.
    Wishing you and your family all the best this unique holiday season. 🕎 ✝️

    1. Thank you very much, Pat. I like your expression, a unique holiday season. It is certainly that and more.But, for some reason the word unique softens it. Happy holidays. Warmly, Honey

  3. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your article! You brought to life what I’m sure many are feeling .
    The words especially rang true for me. I lost my husband, my best friend my soul mate a few years ago . He was my everything . All the craziness in this world would be so much easier if he were by my side.
    So I have been living in “ elsewhere” for quite some time.
    You words reminded me the strength, the change has to come within me.
    I can change the world nearest to me . At least change my attitude.
    Make a daily plan , one step at a time.
    Thank you for your beautiful insight.

    1. Oh, I am so sorry you lost your husband. I know the feeling. It is awful. I know he would not want you to be unhappy. Now it is up to you. Read my story this Sunday. The last part may help. For now: make your plan a reality.One step at a time.Write it out on paper. When we lose our loved one it takes a long time to heal and yes, you have been living in Elsewhere a long time.I understand. Warmly, Honey

  4. Once again you give voice to my innermost feelings. I have no routine, have stopped wearing makeup and continue to gain weight. I cringe at the thought of what if my mother could see what I’ve become? I’ve been put on medication whose side effect is depression, as if I needed any help with that. I have tried countless times to shake it off, to start a diet, to begin a regimen, yet I cannot even make it through the day with out turning to food, whether it’s cooking or eating. To top it all off, how do you cope with a marriage of 50 years that is failing? I am besides myself and truly wonder how this will all end.
    The silent scream has become my self portrait.

    1. You are going through a tough stage in your life. We all do. Somehow you have to pull yourself together and just start. Maybe munch on popcorn! Make your own in a little olive oil and just add seasoning.When you get hungry, eat your popcorn.Carry it around with you. If you live in warm weather start walking or go on Amazon and buy a treadmill or bike. Splurge. Be good to yourself. You count. As far as your marriage, I don’t know the answer. You are not the Silent Scream. You are just frazzled and need to get yourself out of your rut so you can be dazzle, again. Thank you for sharing. I hope I helped. Warmly, Honey

    1. I am so glad you are going to follow my example. Thank you!!!! And, I am so glad you love love love my story. Warmly, Honey

  5. This morning I woke up to a strong smell of smoke. The winds had been blowing all nite so I was pretty sure the smoke came from brush fires. The sun is rising, a bright red ball of fire. I am safe. The fires are in the hills and canyons of Orange County (CA), but others are not so lucky. One more tragedy on top of living during the time of Elsewhere. How much more do we have to take?

  6. Hi Honey!
    Wow…I think we’re all feeling exactly like you. Fortunately, I’m still working, but that even brings worry since I’m exposed to so many people. I’ve see firsthand how this virus has changed everyone’s attitude. I get some really rude people at times. I think we are all fed up with losing all normalcy in our lives. And I always ask…when will this ever end?? I guess it won’t because the virus is here. The minute we all start going back to a normal way of life, people will get sick. We can’t hole up in our homes forever! Seems there is no solution to this crisis. I really don’t want the vaccine as I’ve read it’s not a walk in the park. They’ve rushed to get one out too. How do they know if it really works and to what point does it damage our health? I’ve gotten really sick before from a regular flu shot and never took another one.,
    I so wish China had stopped ALL travel once this virus was discovered. It may have helped to control it somewhat. Who knows at this point? We just have to take care of ourselves each day to make it the best it can be.
    Thanks for sharing how you’re feeling during this time!
    Take care,
    Mary Jane

  7. You go, girl! I’ve been reading your notes since the “get go” years ago but this is my first reply. I’m a busy, healthy and reasonably happy 80 yrs. old.
    We have all had to hunker down this year, my biggest disappointment not being able to celebrate my 80th with my daughters in Sweden. We’re already
    planning for next year ! Looking forward, planning, deep faith, smiles (no hugs)! Helping where I can are all pulling me along through this time of
    “Nowhere” land to a future. I so remember my parents post World War II wondering if life would ever be normal —— and it has been up until this time.
    But, you know what? This too shall pass so you just keep on that red lipstick and perfume, kiss your darlings (man and beast) and don’t let that
    darling personality fade. I’m counting on continued enjoyment of your thoughts……….way out here in California. Terri

    1. You are special. Keep writing to me. Where do you live in California? I love your attitude and happy belated birthday to you. Next year in Sweden!!! Most warmly, Honey

  8. Napa Valley is my home, but I’ve lived all over the Country, including your Beautiful Chicago many years ago. Life for me is now in a Lovely
    retirement community, The Meadows of Napa Valley. After my husband passed five years ago my daughter, who lives here, dragged me
    out of my beautiful home in Arizona and succeed in to starting a whole new life. Gone is the beautiful acre, my horse ( sold to a lady in
    Canada, of all places!). The dogs had recently died but I still had my three cats who made the move to my new condo with me. They
    love it, and so do I! Talk about a new chapter!!

    Never, ever, thought I could settle into this new life but my Mama always told me to “bloom where you’re planted” and, so it is. There are
    some lonely people here and it has been my pleasure to seek them out. With the pandemic we are quite restricted on socializing, so I
    meet for a walk, or have just one come to my place for a visit. If everyone would just make one person a day happier, we will get through
    this mess., right? You touch many lives, Honey, so keep up your courage and your chatter, I love it and look forward to your mussings.

    Sunshine greetings from Terri

    1. It is 4:43am and I just read your musings.How happy you made my day with your little vignette filled with happiness and wisdom. You took a plunge,lived outside the box and found a ‘new life.’ I have been to Nappa. We glided over the vineyards one early morning in a hot air balloon among other things. I loved Napa and I could be one of those new people you could bring into your life each day. Happy holidays, Terri. I am smiling. Warmly, Honey

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