I’m dreaming of spring, a time of new beginnings. It’s a time that we sweep clean old thoughts that no longer bode us well, clothing that no longer serves us, hobbies, and extracurricular activities that no longer light our fire. With renewed anticipation, we begin to think of uplifting ways to enrich our lives emotionally and spiritually.

Shopping is not just for material possessions, darlings. We shop for everything. But let’s start with material possessions because they encompass a very girly topic, and spring is a season of the year to fill in our wardrobes, bath cabinets, and drawers with new beauty products and new fashions. Shopping for new cosmetics and clothing is one of my many emotional and spiritual joys. I always get excited about planning shopping outings with friends, looking forward to the fun and connection we share. There is a deep desire for meaningful connection and a boost in self-esteem that comes from these shared shopping experiences. When I shop with friends, I realize how much I love shopping for the joy and bonding it brings. Updating my wardrobe for spring is the perfect opportunity to try new colors and refresh my style. As I browse and observe, I notice how my shopping behavior is often influenced by the habits and preferences of my close friends.

Browsing For Quality

Actually, yesterday was the first day in quite some time that I had time to venture into a store to look around. I am an observer, and before I start shopping, I like to get my feet wet by meandering. Salespeople swarm around me, asking if they can be of service, and I casually and politely say, “Thank you! Today is my browsing day.”

Browsing is a way of life, darlings. Think about it—we browse through everything! Papers, books, our drawers, our kitchen cabinets, our email inboxes, Netflix, restaurant guides, shops, and large stores. You name it, we browse—we glance, we window shop, and we casually look around until we pounce.

After spending about an hour in the store, I left with my thoughts and no purchases. After all, darlings, I am not going to purchase until I browse several shops. I have decided to make deliberate choices and not rush into buying. I am a savvy shopper who searches for quality.

Anyway, I have my eye on a sweater and skirt, both are smashing. And lo and behold, I had the surprise of surprises in the Chanel handbag and accessory department. I saw the belts I have in my drawer at home! I had purchased them when I was in my 30s and kept them for all of these years! Clearly, I had a good reason to save them. Reflecting on my past mistakes, I now appreciate how learning from shopping errors helps me make better decisions today.

A comment my mom made several years ago flashed through my mind as I swept through the revolving doors on my way home, “Susan, you have always been a good picker.” That moment reminded me to trust my instincts and be mindful of my shopping choices. Well, in certain areas, I’m very good, and in some areas, there’s room for improvement. At that point, I realized how important it is to reflect on my habits and make conscious changes.

I am very good in the husband, shopping, and picking people departments. I choose quality above all else.

Holding on tight to my Ultimate Concierge and close girlfriends, I am definitely satisfied. I am keeping most of my wardrobe but will add new accessories, one of which includes the Apple watch! In the back of my mind, I still hear Ines say, “Oy!” More on that later.

“Shopping” for Quality Girlfriends and Best Friendships

Best girlfriends are sugar, spice, and everything nice, no matter what.

What are the qualities to look for in a best friend? We all need good friends. So says Dr. Robert Puff in his article on “The Importance of Friendship” in Psychology Today. Dr. Puff wrote that friendships can significantly impact our well-being, documenting how close relationships influence our moods and behaviors. But it doesn’t take a doctor to convince me of the benefits of friendship. Or research either, although science proves that close friendships are our most valuable assets.

As Dr. Puff points out, friends enhance our moods, our ability to function and our emotional and physical health. Most of us know this intuitively. But when a friend asked me to write a piece on the topic of what makes a best friend, I realized there is so much we do not know intuitively and also a lot that we take for granted. Writing about friendship helped me clarify my own thoughts and made me feel more connected to others who value these relationships.

To organize my thoughts, I began thinking of the women in my life who have those unique qualities and gifts that draw me to them. What’s their secret? I thought to myself.

A Generational Difference in Friendship

My answer came when I recalled a day many years ago. I was walking on the beach in Honolulu with my girlfriend, Carolyn. I was in my late thirties, and she was in her late forties.

“How do you keep up with all of your friends?” I asked her.

She answered, “Maintaining friendships isn’t easy. It’s a full-time job. You have no idea how many hours I spend nurturing my friendships.” Nurturing these relationships helps people connect emotionally and maintain strong social bonds.

Then we changed the subject and chattered on about something else. But I never forgot our original talk. Talking openly during moments like these is essential for building and sustaining meaningful friendships.

Friendships While Wearing Different Hats

I realized our ten-year age gap made a difference in how we viewed our roles as women and girlfriends. She was a homebody with four children, a husband, and lots of time to focus on her female friendships. My generation had one foot firmly planted in our home, and the other searching for greater fulfillment in the outside world.

We were the women who began to spread our wings and wear other hats besides wife, mother, daughter, sister, and girlfriend. And that included further education, a career path, and travel. Our lifestyle, shaped by personal routines and preferences, often influences the way we form friendships and our shopping habits.

I began to understand how complicated it would be to answer my girlfriend’s question. After all, how can we maintain our quality relationships with women, given our hurried lives today and in the future as well? People tend to prioritize or neglect friendships depending on their circumstances and the demands of their daily lives. Most women I know in my generation show no signs of slowing down.

Friendships I Love

I started thinking about the women I hold dear. I realized each of them encompasses the same five qualities that I consider necessary in a best friend. Giving me their constant time was not one of them. I believe their personal qualities far surpass the number of hours they spend on friendships. When I think of these friends, I remember how we often join each other for shopping trips or other shared experiences, making our time together even more meaningful.

Best of all, anyone can embrace these five qualities to improve their own friendships. The journey of building and maintaining strong friendships is ongoing, involving personal growth and self-discovery along the way. They are as follows:

Shared Interests and Activities: The Glue of Connection

One of the most delightful aspects of real friendship is discovering those shared interests that make every moment together feel effortless and fun. For many close friends, a love of shopping is the perfect excuse to spend time together, whether you’re exploring the latest fashion trends or simply window shopping at your favorite stores. There’s something magical about bonding over a shared style aesthetic—trying on clothes, swapping ideas, and giving each other honest feedback. These shared activities aren’t just about the purchases; they’re about the laughter in the fitting room, the excitement of finding that perfect piece, and the joy of being with someone who truly “gets” your taste.

When friends share an interest in shopping, it often leads to a deeper connection. You learn each other’s quirks, preferences, and even those little fashion risks you might not take alone. This camaraderie builds trust and loyalty, the very foundation of lasting friendships. Whether you’re on the hunt for a statement accessory or just enjoying a leisurely afternoon at the mall, these shared experiences create a tapestry of memories that strengthen your bond. In the end, it’s not just about the clothes or the deals—it’s about the friendship that grows with every shared adventure.

Embracing Individuality: Celebrating Uniqueness in Each Other

True best friends know that the beauty of friendship lies in celebrating what makes each of us unique. When shopping together, this means honoring each other’s individuality and body shape, rather than trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all idea of style. The best friends are the ones who encourage you to try on that bold color you’ve always admired, or who help you find clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. They understand that fashion is personal, and that misguided purchases often happen when we ignore our own tastes in favor of someone else’s.

Shopping with a friend who appreciates your individuality can be a transformative experience. Instead of feeling pressured to conform, you’re empowered to express your true self. This kind of support not only leads to smarter purchases, but also deepens your friendship. You become each other’s cheerleaders, celebrating every unique choice and learning from each other’s different perspectives. In the world of fashion—and in life—embracing individuality is what makes friendships vibrant, meaningful, and lasting.

1. Openness and Honesty:

Best friends don’t wear masks to conceal their real thoughts. They are able to show their vulnerabilities. A real friendship can’t be built on falsehoods. This kind of honesty is a rare commodity. If you possess it, make the most of it by using it judiciously. And choose friends who will see this quality in you and treasure you for it.

2. Loyalty:

It is an absolute requirement. A best friend knows how to hold her tongue with your secret and use her tongue to defend you.

3. Giving Instead of Taking:

Best friends are generous with themselves. They are generous with their feelings and gain far more happiness when giving rather than getting. I watch the joy in their faces. Best friends are not self-serving.

4. Empathy:

Best friends sympathize with you, and are on your wavelength because they know how to relate to your feelings. They can walk in your shoes. This kind of friend is a keeper.

5. Positivity:

Effective Communication

At the heart of every strong friendship is honest, open communication. This is especially true when friends embark on a shopping adventure together. Whether you’re searching for the perfect dress or debating over which shoes to buy, being able to share your thoughts and opinions freely is essential. Good friends know how to listen, offer advice, and respect each other’s choices without judgment. If you’re not interested in a particular style or if something doesn’t feel right, you can say so—and your friend will understand.

Effective communication helps friends navigate the sometimes overwhelming world of shopping, making the process more enjoyable and less stressful. It ensures that both friends feel heard and valued, and it prevents misunderstandings that can sour even the best of outings. When you and your friend can talk openly about your needs and desires, you build a foundation of trust that extends far beyond the mall. In friendship, as in shopping, a little honesty goes a long way.

Creating Lasting Memories

Some of the most cherished moments in life are those spent with friends, creating memories that last long after the shopping bags are put away. Whether it’s the thrill of finding a fabulous deal, the laughter over a fashion faux pas, or the simple pleasure of sharing lunch after a day at the stores, these experiences become the stories you’ll reminisce about for years to come. Shopping together isn’t just about acquiring new clothes or other items—it’s about the fun, the connection, and the sense of adventure that comes from exploring the world side by side.

The main reason we treasure these outings isn’t the purchases themselves, but the joy of being together. Each shared experience adds another thread to the tapestry of your friendship, weaving together moments of gladness, success, and even the occasional mistake. These memories remind us why we value our friends so deeply—they make our lives richer, more colorful, and infinitely more fun. So the next time you plan a shopping trip, remember: it’s not just about what you buy, but about the life you build together, one unforgettable moment at a time.