“A friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find but lucky to have.” Irish Proverb
I wish people’s actions were constant, like the sun. As many of you know, I write very early in the morning as the sun rises in the East. Over the months, as I sit at my computer writing to you from the 71st floor of my condo-in-the-sky, she passes like clockwork across our full set of windows. I know where her location will be each month of the year. She is trustworthy, constant and loyal. And, generous with her light, her vitality. She is strong, and She never disappoints. I wish all people that I knew had a conscience like the Sun’s.
Over the past few years, we have all found ourselves aghast at man’s behavior. We see, we hear, we read, and like never before, and in a healthy manner, we become leery of what really lurks in the minds of people. Unfortunately, over the past three years, we have been programmed to reevaluate man’s humanity to his fellow man.
I am personally bewildered and fearful over this because the lack of a sound moral compass has become so widespread. And, in a sense, I have lost the wonderful feeling of my belief in people, even those close to me. And, I believe this uncomfortable feeling has surfaced in many of you as well. Why can’t all people be like the Sun?
My fervent philosophy about people, now more than ever, is to find genuine people to trust and keep in my life. Because everything in my life and yours is directly affected by those around us. We cannot prevent what is taking place in the minds of men and women outside our sphere, but we have the control to choose those in our sphere.
My Ah-Ha Moment
I do believe that our conscience represents our moral code of ethics. The inherent ability of every healthy human being to perceive what is right and what is wrong. And on the strength of this perception, control their actions. Therefore, it puzzles me when I watch the negative actions of others. I ask myself, “Why didn’t their conscience stop them from this negative action?”
I was bothered enough to ‘climb the stairs and not ride the elevator.’ So, being a curious woman over 50, I began reading articles on the conscience. And this is when I had one of my ‘ah-ha moment.’ I had left out an important part out of the equation. People’s consciences vary! What you think is right, I may think is wrong! And we both think we are right!
We Control Who is In Our Sphere
When I learned this, I began to think about the various people in my life. I reached the conclusion that I should continue learning skills to read a person’s behavior in order to measure their character. This is to see if their conscious behavior and attitudes are a good match with mine. After all, I cannot only have the Sun in my sphere of company. I believe using your intuitive skills will help you find genuine women and men to trust and keep by your side.
I know everything in our life is directly affected by the company we keep. You hold the power to choose wisely when you listen to your heart.
My Ultimate Concierge taught me that the system of making lists works. After being widowed and single for six years, he met me and, on our first date, asked me to marry him because I matched every quality on his list! He waited six years! We have been married for 32 years, and he is my best girlfriend!!!
I think these are two good starter lists to follow.
A List to Analyze Your Needs
Be honest with yourself.
- Follow your heart. Let your heart lead.
- Ponder. Be patient with your decisions.
- Set goals. Paint with a large brush. Don’t narrow your vision. Consider multigenerational friendships.
- Stop underestimating yourself.
- Ask yourself, “What if.” There’s a big world of people to choose from.
- Go back to your roots. Rediscover what really matters to you. Trace your family tree.
- Reward yourself. Don’t take it too far and become selfish.
- Visualize yourself in a happy setting with the right people.
- Break bad cycles. Don’t feel trapped in your relationships
- Say no. Others will respect you.
- Prioritize. Accept what is best for you.
A List of Qualities to Look For in Other People
- Ignore the pessimists. They thrive on negativity and failure.
- Seek out the optimist. They thrive on joy and hope and know how to rebound.
- Look for inner beauty in people.
- Seek out people with authenticity
- Kindness is King
- Wisdom is a benefit
- Look for a compromising soul.
- A good listener is interested.
- Notice how people treat others when they are in control. How do they talk to waiters or socially awkward people? They will either show kindness and generosity or indecency.
- Notice how the people in your sphere talk about others.
- Notice how people in your sphere handle a disagreement.
After doing my due diligence, I go back to the Sun. She is my dream friend. So, darlings, take my advice and look for a constant like the sun. Along with the feelings of your heart — she will guide you.
If you enjoyed this story, please subscribe. And you might also enjoy reading How to Find New Friends After 50.
What constant do you have in your life? Please share with me in the comments.
Beautiful words and wisdom, a great list, and warm thoughts about the constant consistent envy of the sun.
Thank you, Linda! let’s love the Sun together. Warmly, Honey
Nice post, thank you Honey. Sending hugs to you both. Wishing you wonderful adventures with your upcoming travels and continued success with Honey Good.com.
It is early am and what a lovely way to start my day in ELSEWHERE..receiving a note from you. Thank you for your message.Sending friendship and hugs to both of you. We are planning,I am 99% certain) to buy a pied- a -terre in Florida because of the state laws. Elsewhere is becoming scarier and scarier by the minute.You are still only in California? Warmly, Honey
I just wanted to say that your article is great. I am very happy to read it.
I just reread my story and I really liked it too. I am not bragging. I learned from my own writing. I appreciated that you enjoyed it. Thank you. Warmly, Honey
TThank you honey for your blog i thought i would share a poem with you my beloved husband wrote to me before he passed away I remember being at the eclipse of the sun it was so much fun the birds singing thinking it is night the sky goes dark except for the corona ring An awsome sight a wonderful thing There is no way we could ever be apart we seen the sun at ninety three million miles but my love goes further my love for you is eternal
I am crying.Thank you for sharing. You were fortunate to have such a love. Warmly, Honey
Thank you susan I realise love will never die i will continue to love my husband for ever
I fell as you feel Dawn. My husband will always be around me. HVD Warmly,Honey
I too love the Sun, after all I am a Leo! I use to watch the sun rise on Belmont Harbor in Chicago-how majestic! I would sit on the steps of the harbor (with my dog) and watch it start to rise on the horizon. You won’t get any argument from me on the greatness of the Sun! Hemingway certainly got it right!
Hemmingway and you got it right!!! Warmly, Honey
Sun worshipers unite!
We are the truly blessed to be filled and fueled by its glory.
I have always been keenly aware of her presence. She is more a spirit to me than a ball of fire. A harbinger of sorts announcing the presence of God , reminding me of His grace in my life.
Thank you Honey for sharing your awareness with your soul seekers.
I love every word you wrote! Sending friendship from Tanzania, East Africa. Warmly, Honey