I wrote this story about new beginnings and journeys a couple of years ago in response to a reader’s question. Those of you who have been with me for a while may remember my “Ask Honey” posts. Well, I’ve been pondering bringing it back. Would that be something you would like? Please let me know in the comments, and by all means, ask away! I love answering your questions and helping you if I am able.
I chose to revisit this story as I always think of newness in the spring. It’s a time for growth and trying new things. Please read on to hear my thoughts on new beginnings and journeys.
New Beginnings & Journeys!
My Ultimate Concierge and I sold our second home in the California desert. It has been a 28-year journey and I am abundantly happy. I feel freshness in the air. Naturally, I will miss our home; a home built and filled with love and stories. A home we built together with a harmonious team of professionals. There was not one unhappy day until the last week when the decorator and the landscaper had two different ideas. The decorator wanted ficus trees. The landscaper said they would never live. Twenty-eight years later, after he said to the Decorator, “Ok, I will plant your f-ing ficus,” they are alive and stunning going across the entire width of our house.
I will also miss my olive tree outside my small patio and Rosa, my housekeeper and friend, since the day I moved into our home. I will carry my memories and my stories in my heart forever and walk away hand-in-hand with my Ultimate Concierge and our pooch, America, never looking back but wondering what the next journey holds in store.
Before you begin any journey, even signing up for a course, gather your thoughts together, and have a positive and exciting vision before you jump into your journey.
Every Day is a Journey!
Darling, every day is a journey. Some journeys are small, some large, some sweet, some sad, some thrilling, some exciting, some questioning, and some wrong. The goal of every journey is to reach a destination with clarity and contentment.
“It’s the Journey, not the destination.” All journeys begin with a thought. The back and forth questions we ask ourselves eventually transform thoughts into decisions. The prize is reaching a destination with no regret.
Before an important decision is reached, one must take a mental inventory of their emotional needs. Wrestling back and forth with the, “Should I, or shouldn’t I?” is the normal process of a journey. Taking the time to question your feelings and weigh every option is a gift you owe to yourself. A true feeling of order will eventually come if you are honest with yourself. At the end of a journey, your goal is to feel you are in harmony with your decision and destination.
Making the Wrong Decisions
This journey to leave California took 28 years of my life. I leaped. I had strong doubts and yet said yes when I wanted to say no. And, I rationalized with my thoughts. I said to myself, “I will adapt because I am very adaptable.” But, I never did because I couldn’t. I am a nature gal, and in 28 years I would never adjust to a desert environment. Darling, I felt emotionally naked in the desert, whereas when I lived in Honolulu, I loved the sound of the sea, the smell of the salt, the flora, and fauna. I felt the environment wrap its arms around me.
The moral of my story is: Before you begin any journey, even signing up for a course, gather your thoughts together, and have a positive and exciting vision before you jump into your journey.
I will take it one step further because I don’t want you to do what I did. You see I tried to make myself happy. It doesn’t work. My advice is to walk away. There will be other journeys.
Trying to Make It Work
I tried so hard. I learned to play cards, I became a golfer, I made new friends, we entertained often. We built a home together that was one of the top joys of my life. The inside of our home was in touch with nature. I thought this would make me happy. But, it didn’t.
I have always been adaptable so I played a game with my feelings; “I will adapt.” But, I could not adjust to the desert environment. My greatest loves are my husband, our large family and America, our pooch, the sea, and a tropical environment. To this day, the only harmony I have with nature in the desert are the olive trees.
Our Next Journey
It is interesting that the first question on everyone’s mind is, “Where are you going to move?” It is not on my mind because I am not ready to begin a new journey–I have everything I want. And I have total clarity of purpose and the last thought on my mind is to be encumbered with, “Where are we going to move?”
I do know this. I learned an important lesson that took me on a 28-year journey before I reached my destination. But, I will never allow myself to be pliable. Instead, I will be rigid and in harmony with my thoughts before I begin a new journey.
I have everything I want. Not only that, I have total clarity right now, and I don’t want to be encumbered with ‘what is next.’ I want to be free. What I will eventually need will come to me when the timing and the journey is right.
Ask me questions. If I can give you sound advice, it will always be my pleasure. I am smiling!
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Our journeys define who we are. Some journeys just happen; others are planned with intricate detail.
I’m a planner so making spur of the moment decisions does not fit in my life. Hopefully each of our
journeys help us discover more about ourselves. Right now with Covid, life is certainly a mystifying
journey. One I so desperately hope we all learn and grow from and most importantly survive.
Many of my friends have moved out of California. I have visited there many times many times. My best friend lived there and I spent many summers in Northern California. Sadly it has changed and not for the better. Just what I think.
I agree. Thank you for sharing. Warmly, Honey
Who am I going to Play Canasta with????? You will be missed Susie Good!!!!
I will truly truly miss you. You are so special. When I am with you I am so happy, truly. With all your problems you are a shining light for all to witness. Please email me your telephone number. I am in PS now packing up our things. Here until Thursday. Love, Susan
This post comes to me in perfect time. I moved to the Las Vegas area because of family and have been unhappy since I moved here 4 years ago. I came from Seattle, a city I love with all of my heart. The desert and the heat have made me miserable, honestly. So I have made the very difficult decision to go back to Seattle. It means leaving my grandchildren and I have shed many tears over this. But I’m not happy here and can’t stay in a place I don’t like, even for people that I love. It feels very selfish of me and I have a lot of guilt.
Thank you for sharing this today, it helps me to see that I am doing the right thing, as difficult as it is. I know I’ll be happier and feel at home once I’m back where I belong.
You are doing the right thing. Don’t feel guilt.You are entitled to live your life where you feel happy vibes with your environment. Feel sad but not guilt. Warmly, Honey
We moved from our beautiful home of40 plus years to be closer to our grands and daughters. I had just remodel the entire house and then my gut instinct kicked in and sold it in two days ourselves. I never looked back just forward.
You are a grand woman with MOXIE
Life is a path ever unfolding. I am finally ready to venture out with my first step to a new life in a new area where a warm friendly welcome awaits. New beginnings. New opportunities. It has taken me 7 years to come to this decision but, like you, I need greenery and open nature space. And so I will return to the four seasons of old, of my past. And embrace my new life warmly and with a joyous pleasure! The timing is now right and adventure beckons!
OMG I love every word you wrote. You climbed the stairs into your answer. Good for you. May I ask where are you going to settle? Wishing you joy, fulfillment and happiness-Warmly, Honey
Definitely bring back the ‘Ask Honey’ post. You’ve helped me a couple of times and I’m really grateful for your input.
It’s also good to hear your insight on other people’s issues as this also helped me or had me thinking differently about situations.
Plus your experience , enthusiasm , understanding , encouragement and willingness to share your wisdom is very valuable.
Thank you very much Irene. I do have the qualities you mention and I want to share them with everyone. Have a lovely day. Warmly from Rwanda, Africa. Honey
It is a brave decision to move away from a beloved, longtime home. — I am doing the same thing, by selling my beloved home in California to my oldest son (and his family) and downsizing. I am contemplating a permanent move out of state, because California has changed so much.
I don’t really want to be away from my California connections, but maybe I’ll figure out a way to stay close to everyone there, while also pursuing my dream of life elsewhere. I’m a widow, so it’s even harder.
This is a very big decision. Good for you. My advice is to take your time and climb the stairs and each floor will lead you to the next floor and finally you will have an ah ha moment and live into your answer. You may want to think about buying a place at a Del Web retirement community or one like a Del Web. The people have to be 55 years and older and I am certain there are several singles. I have visited one. I have a few friends who live at the Del Web in the Palm Springs area. I was very impressed with everything. They are all over the USA, I think. Go girl go!!!! Warmly, Honey
Change is good and exciting too!
I too love tropical more than desert myself, but everyone is different!
Enjoy the new adventure!
I believe change and curious mind keeps women over 50 ‘in the hunt of life.’I am in Rwanda now and saw the Silver Back gorillas yesterday. I will have photos on my site. I prefer tropical over the desert, too. Warmly, Honey