This article was written by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
In this Month of Moxie, let’s celebrate ourselves and our courage by honoring what is right about ourselves, rather than what is wrong.
As women, we’re all experts in identifying what is wrong with ourselves. We can probably quickly make up a long list detailing what is wrong in our lives. However, it’s a lot harder to get in touch with what is right.
We need to know ourselves in positive ways. We need to learn how to honor our talents, strengths, even the coping skills that serve us so well. And most important, we need to treasure and enjoy our potential.
Learn to Honor Yourself
These parts of us, if not honored, identified, and talked about—both to ourselves and to others—will lose their power. We have to ignite them and nurture their specialness. We need to get to know ourselves in ways that emphasize the heroic, strong parts of ourselves.
This means using our memories in very different ways from those we’ve been accustomed to. It means searching through our history to find our talents, strengths, and potential, even if we have to sort through pounds of dysfunction. It means searching our past for what is right about us, not for what is wrong. As we search and find the gems that are our own unique talents, and even lost potential, magical aspects of ourselves are released again. It is these magical aspects that have the capacity to love, to create, to share, to fix, to experience joy, to recover, to feel whole, to be present, and so much more, that are all components of our Enchanted Self.
The Enchanted Self
The Enchanted Self is indeed a very special part of each woman. You may not have given it a name, you may have dismissed it as trivial, perhaps unimportant in the scheme of a hectic, busy demanding life; but deep inside you’ve yearned to find it and let it out.
There comes a moment in every woman’s life when it is time to bask in your personal delight, happiness, and joy. When that time comes, fly with it and know that you have come home to your Enchanted Self!
Here are some suggestions to come home to your Enchanted Self during this month of Moxie:
- Make a list of all your talents, strengths and potential that you can remember from earliest childhood to now.
- Make a list of 5 Bucket List things you would like to do this month if nothing stood in your way.
- Combine some of your talents, strengths, and potential with one of the items on your bucket list. You may adapt the actual bucket list item as you merge your talents, strengths, and potential with your choice. Modifying is fine.
- Start making your bucket list item come true. It may take much longer than this month, it may take years, but just owning what you want to do at the heart and mind level will move you closer to action and self-recognition of how much potential you really have to make a difference: to yourself, to the world, to the future strength and courage of other women! Moxie and recognition of Self Enchantment are perfect together!
What I Did to Honor My Enchanted Self
Here’s one thing I did to honor my Enchanted Self. I had a dear friend come over and take pictures of me in costume as an Enchanted Self. This was some years ago when I had finished my first book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy book and my second book: Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU. It was such fun to dress up and pose and I remember how special I felt. I had created my own arena. It was a lovely afternoon and my poses represented what was true to me about my talents and my potential.
Perhaps you can see hidden ‘out loud’ in my photos are some of my core beliefs for happiness: Listen! Read! Take in information from many sources! Remember time and tide wait for no one! Recognize your potential and incorporate it into your daily life and your plans!
By the way, my mother who was very much alive and well then, loved the pictures. Her response also filled my heart. So I hope you play with something special about yourself also!
How do you honor your Enchanted Self? Let us know in the comments below. We want to hear from you, Darlings!
Guest contributor, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein:
Sometimes friends and colleagues call me ‘The Enchanted Self.’ That’s because as a psychologist in private practice for over 35 years, I’ve developed a form of positive psychology called The Enchanted Self. I’m not enchanted, but I do have many ways and ideas to help all of us feel better through all stages of life. These methods help us to recognize our potential, regardless of our age, to grab on to our talents and find again and again the emotional energies needed to be creative, resourceful, resilient and to live joyfully.