An unexpected circumstance can change one’s thinking, sometimes in a most surprising and uplifting “Aha!” manner. Who would have thought in a million years that a man I have never met could help me to make a personal and emotional decision that has been bothering me for quite some time! I will thank him if I have the chance to meet him. He awakened and energized a longing and desire to write about an important chapter in my life that I silenced. He wondered why he did not see more pictures of my Grands on Honey Good. Why was I not sharing more personal stories about my grandchildren?
Why Should I Share Stories about my Grandchildren?
In the past when I would slip in a personal story about one of my grandchildren, heads would spin. Especially mine! Not that I hold any prejudice…but I must tell you that each Grand in my ultimate concierge’s and my family have stellar character and values, as well as some great stories you could relate to as grandmothers.
One of my children, who has every right to feel as she does, expressed the wish that she does not want me to write about her large family. She wants privacy. I understand and will honor her desire.
Fortunately, the other adult children in our families have given me the go-ahead to write what I wish about them or their children. So, with much exuberance, delight and freedom, I will begin sharing personal stories about my relationships with my children and grandchildren.
How I Became Honey
I was a very young grandmother, under forty-five when my first grandchild was born. My close friend, ten years older, was called “Honey” by her grandchildren. Loving this name myself, I asked her if she would mind my new grandbaby calling me, “Honey”. She was flattered and delighted to share the name. I was thrilled because the name “Honey” defines a grandmother…she is sweetness personified.
I Love My Grandmother Role
I don’t have to try and live up to the role of being a worthy grandmother. It comes naturally to me because I am a multi-generational woman; able to relate to all ages. I have the uncanny ability to know how people feel whether they are two years old or in their 90s! Therefore, I can relate on an emotional level to a grand whose age is four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty or older. I can somehow put myself in their position and feel as they feel. My Grands know this and love me. I love them, enjoy them, learn from them, cherish them and would do anything for them within my power. This is why I have such a desire to share personal stories about my grandchildren!
Am I “Little Miss Perfect” Grandmother?
You are thinking to yourselves she is “Little Miss Perfect”. Well, don’t. Looking back on my life, as I reflect on sharing stories about my grandchildren, I wish I had spent more time with them, for their sake as well as mine. I was often torn, time-wise, between my relationship with my ultimate concierge and my Grands. I was a widow. This was my second marriage. Of course, the fact that my Grands lived in several different states did not help!
An Important Lesson Learned!
When I disappointed my biological adult children, daughters no less, (if you know what I mean) all types of family squabbling arose. They missed me and to punish me they would stop talking. As their mother, they expected me to be there for them, even if it meant almost killing myself to get to them, always with my ultimate concierge in tow of course!
Over time, I learned a valuable lesson I would like to pass on to you. Our adult children are always children in their eyes and never adults when it comes to the emotional love and bond between a mother and her child. No matter how old your child gets, you will always be his/her mother.
With my ultimate concierge’s family, it was different because I was not the biological mother of his sons. Nor was I my wonderful daughter-in-law’s mom. His adult children did not get mad at me when it was hard for me to visit because they knew I wanted to be with them. They were not as emotionally attached to the situation and could appreciate what was going on. Not being their biological mother, they could accept me for me. And all went well.
A Hip 21st Century Grandmother
I love to spend time with our Grands and our adult children. We love each other. Our relationships are not casual as we share deep thoughts and ideas, including much laughter! I love having time to share my own personal stories with my children and grandchildren. Therefore, I feel as cheated as they feel when we can’t be together.
One of my grandchildren coined a name for me that has stuck: She said, “You are a hip 21st Century Grandmother, Honey.”
My editor from Abrams Noterie chose to publish my book, Stories for my Grandchildren – A Grandmother’s Journal, because she felt I was the personification of “The Cool 21st Century Grandmother.”
What does that mean? It means that along with cookies and milk, I introduce my grands ‘to a dynamic lifestyle.’
I wish I could sit weekly with each of my Grands over a cup of hot chocolate or a burger and fries and talk to them about the importance of positivity. My hope for them is to live their lives outside the box. I would remind them to always be curious, to dare themselves to dare, and to be generous and grateful. When things get tough, I would encourage them to get tougher. I wish for them to see the positive in everything, even their disappointments, and to know that kindness counts. I would encourage them to always live the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Most importantly, I would counsel them to love themselves because that gives the most unselfish, powerful message.
Hopefully, I have managed to impart a lot without a word because they observe my actions, and read my words.
What to Do if you Live Far Away from Grands
As every grandmother knows, grandchildren need their grandmothers. Many of you live a great distance away from your grands. Don’t let the miles stop you from interacting and sending your love to them.
Some means of keeping the communication channels open are: social media, video, Zoom, texting, phone calls, family planned trips, and even letters. I was recently made aware of a digital, photo share frame called SimplySmart Home 8″, which I am going to buy for myself and give to my Grands and my children for Hanukkah.
I can’t wait to continue to share more personal stories about my grandchildren. With a lot to say and a lot to share, I am excited! To start you off, here is one of my favorite stories about our family: How to Celebrate Thanksgiving with Moxie
Lastly, I want to thank the young man who helped me come to the important decision to write grandmother stories, and to share photos. I feel free!!!!!