Real Love

Real love is one of life’s greatest wonders—a feeling that can be hard to put into words, yet impossible to ignore. In the early stages of a romantic relationship, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and physical attraction, sometimes leaving us wondering if what we feel is just infatuation or if we are starting to fall in love. Many people experience a rush of emotions as they fall for someone, noticing how their thoughts and feelings begin to center around this special connection. But as time passes, the signs of real love begin to shine through. Most people recognize these signs when they realize they can’t stop thinking about their special someone, and their happiness seems tied to that person’s presence. You find yourself drawn to your beloved not just for their looks, but for the way they make you feel—safe, understood, and truly seen. Research suggests that being in a loving relationship can boost your well-being, happiness, and overall satisfaction with life. The course of a relationship often involves moving from initial attraction to a deeper, more meaningful bond, with each stage bringing new understanding and growth. When you’ve found your special someone, you can’t imagine your days without them. They become your best friend, your confidant, and the one you turn to for comfort and joy. Real love is about more than desire; it’s about building a life together, sharing dreams, and supporting each other through every chapter. Unlike the whirlwind romances in a rom com, real love develops over time, grounded in genuine connection and mutual respect.

Signs of a Deep Connection

One of the most beautiful signs of romantic love is the deep connection that grows between two people. In the early stages, you might be swept away by physical attraction and the thrill of new emotions, but as your relationship matures, something more profound begins to take root. You find yourself wanting to spend quality time with your partner, not just for the excitement, but for the comfort and sense of belonging they bring. Research suggests that in long term relationships, this deep connection is what sustains love and keeps the bond strong. It’s about feeling safe to share your true feelings, knowing your partner desires to understand you, and trusting that you can be vulnerable without fear. When you’re in a loving relationship, you realize that your connection goes beyond fleeting emotions—it’s a sense of unity that makes you feel seen, heard, and cherished. This is the foundation that allows love to flourish, turning everyday moments into lasting memories and making your relationship a source of strength and joy.

The title of this story was messaged to me with no explanation of its meaning, so at first glance, I completely missed its significance.

I thought of the abundance of love I feel for my Ultimate Concierge, my pooch America, and my family. Sometimes, a family member can offer valuable perspective or advice when you’re trying to understand the signs of falling in love. And, I thought of the abundance of warmth and true friendship I feel toward so many others that it is easy to tell it like it is with love.

After I typed the title of this blog in WordPress, it dawned on me that I was on the wrong track. The woman who wanted to know how to tell it like it is with love was in need of help.

What Does This Mean?

Telling it like it is with love also means how to tell a person candidly, but in a loving manner, something they do not want to hear!

My first thoughts: That obviously takes skill! That certainly is an art (to tell it like it is with love!)

I then asked myself, “What artful skills are needed?” I thought and I thought. To help, I left my computer and took America for a peaceful walk in my favorite park. I eventually sat down on a bench, and thought and thought, again. One of my thoughts: “Why can’t people be like dogs?” I wonder why human emotions and communication in love are so complex compared to the simple, honest ways of animals. In relationships, the experience of being truly ‘felt’—that is, emotionally understood and connected with by another person—is rare and deeply valuable.

For example, consider the difference between saying, “I don’t like what you did,” which is honest but can be hurtful, and saying, “I felt hurt by what happened, but I want us to understand each other better,” which is both honest and sensitive. Talking openly with your partner about your feelings and thoughts is key to building trust and intimacy.

The world would be almost perfect. Fortunately and unfortunately we are a communicative, chameleon-like society where people often blurt out words (sometimes contradictory words) from both sides of our mouths without using a very important art.

The Power of Attraction

Attraction is a powerful force that draws two people together at the beginning of a romantic relationship. It’s that spark—the rush of excitement, the flutter of nerves, the all-consuming desire to be near your partner. Science tells us that sex hormones and serotonin levels play a role in these intense feelings, making the beginning of a loving relationship feel almost magical. But while physical attraction is important, real romantic love is about so much more. As your relationship deepens, you’ll find that true connection comes from emotional intimacy, shared values, and a sense of understanding that goes beyond the surface. The power of attraction can ignite a relationship, but it’s the ongoing desire to know and support your partner that keeps the flame burning. When you focus on building a loving relationship that honors both the excitement of the beginning and the comfort of long-term commitment, you create a partnership that is both passionate and enduring.

One Word: Diplomacy in a Loving Relationship

That art can be summed up in one word. The word diplomacy is my first choice, the skill of knowing how to deal with a person in a sensitive and effective way. Diplomacy, darling, is a skill we all wish we had when we want to tell it like it is with love. This is not easy. How many times have we put our foot in our mouth and said the wrong thing or kept silent when we knew we should speak up? We are not schooled in the art of**diplomacy so we clam up for fear of sounding insensitive.

But telling it like it is with love and skill can be refreshingly welcome. Having a meaningful talk with someone about your feelings or future plans can strengthen the relationship and build trust. I admire women who can do this. They know how to be candid and give honest feedback. They have the skill, the diplomacy, to tell those they feel close to their honest opinion sensitively but not shying away from the truth. And, they have learned that silence does not protect or grow a relationship.

One Answer: This is about the person’s well being, not yours.

Telling it like it is with love should be done only when the person’s best interest is at stake. In other words, ask yourself, “Who is the truth serving?”

If it serving you, stop and rethink. I am fortunate to have girlfriends who are skilled in diplomacy. I hold them close because they have gained my admiration and trust. As I reflect on my closest relationships, the ones I truly value are the friends who are REAL. When my close friends tell me like it is with love, I know they’re doing it for my well-being. I call these friends “keepers.”

When my Ultimate Concierge, my husband Sheldon Good, tells me like it is with love, I may get annoyed but when I hear him say, “I am telling you this because I care,” my heart melts because I know he is real.

So darling, when you are going to tell it like it is to a friend, a child, a spouse, or a significant other, it must come from your loving heart. Being honest and caring in your communication is especially important when speaking to a loved one, as your words can strengthen the bond and trust you share. They will know and hopefully, they will grow because they know what you say is coming from a loving place.

Building a Connection

Building a genuine connection with someone is at the heart of falling in love. In the beginning, everything feels new and exciting—your heart races, and you can’t wait to spend time together, simply enjoying each other’s company. As you spend more quality time with your partner, you start to feel a sense of ease and comfort that goes beyond the initial passion. In a long term relationship, this connection deepens, evolving from intense passion to a stable attachment that can last for years. Everyday situations become opportunities to find joy, whether you’re trying something adventurous or just sharing a quiet moment at home, and both partners’ lives are enriched in meaningful ways. The excitement of early love often gives way to the challenges and joys of real life together, where genuine love is tested and strengthened. The relationship becomes a safe space where you can be your true self, knowing you’re loved and accepted, imperfections and all, and you feel pride and empathy for your partner’s achievements and feelings. Over time, you realize that this connection is helping you become a better person, inspiring you to grow and face life’s challenges with confidence. The joy you feel isn’t just about the big moments—it’s woven into the fabric of your daily life, making even the simplest days feel special.

Overcoming Distractions

In our busy world, it’s easy to let distractions pull your attention away from your relationship. Work, social media, and the constant buzz of everyday life can make it hard to stay focused on what truly matters—your partner and the quality time you share. To keep your relationship strong, it’s important to be intentional about spending time together and finding joy in each other’s company. Whether it’s a quiet dinner, a walk in the park, or simply turning off your phones to talk, these moments help you reconnect and build a sense of togetherness. By making your partner a priority and staying present in the moment, you create a relationship that can weather the demands of the world. Remember, the joy you find in each other is what makes your relationship unique, so focus on nurturing that bond every single day.

One Lesson: Your Opinion Is Just An Opinion—Respecting Other’s Feelings

It is important to remember and understand that your opinion is just an opinion. Being honest is a reflection on you. To share every thought and opinion you have about a person who has not sought your take on their failings is a very sensitive topic. You can come across as very arrogant even when you are telling it like it is with love. Understanding the difference between helpful honesty and hurtful criticism is key in these situations. Therefore, I suggest before you have that conversation you should remember to think twice before speaking once.

Avoiding Comparisons

It’s natural to notice other relationships, but comparing your own partnership to others can be a slippery slope. Every loving relationship is unique, shaped by the personalities, experiences, and dreams of the two people in it. When you start to compare your partner or your relationship to someone else’s, it can lead to negative feelings and unrealistic expectations. Instead, focus on the positive qualities that make your relationship special. Celebrate your partner’s individuality and the sense of connection you share. By appreciating what you have and resisting the urge to measure your relationship against others, you foster a more positive and supportive environment. Remember, the most fulfilling relationships are built on acceptance, respect, and a shared commitment to growing together—no comparison required.

Finding Peace

One of the most beautiful signs of true love is the sense of peace it brings into your life. When you’re with the right person, you feel a calmness that soothes your worries and quiets your mind. Your partner becomes your anchor, offering support and encouragement through both the highs and lows of life. In a loving relationship, you realize that you’re not alone—you have someone who stands by your side, ready to face whatever comes your way. This sense of security and understanding allows you to relax and truly be yourself, knowing you are cherished for who you are. As you build a life together, you find comfort in the knowledge that you’ve found your person, and that together, you can weather any storm. That feeling of peace is a sure sign you’ve discovered true love.

Cultivating Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for nurturing a loving relationship. When you take time to notice and appreciate the positive influence your partner has on your life, you naturally become a better person and a more caring partner. Expressing gratitude—whether it’s for a kind gesture, a shared laugh, or simply their presence—brings more joy and happiness into your relationship. This sense of appreciation helps you both navigate tough times and find joy in everyday moments. By focusing on the good, you create a positive atmosphere where love can thrive. Practicing gratitude not only strengthens your bond but also helps you see your partner as the special person they are, making your relationship a source of lasting happiness and fulfillment.

One Last Thought: Courage and Character with a Family Member

It is important to be kind-hearted yet direct in a loving relationship because beating around the bush will eventually make you unhappy, and the other person will feel your distance and ultimately the relationship will sour or fail. Telling it like it is with love takes courage and character.

We must be who we are wherever we are. Please don’t alter your essence for anyone. What I mean is this: Telling it like it is with love sometimes means your silence is telling it like it is with love. And, darling, you are quietly deleting yourself from the relationship. That too is a form of diplomacy. Honest communication shapes the future of your relationship by building trust and helping both partners envision shared goals and commitments.

Do you have any questions about how to tell it like it is with love? Let us know in the comments at the bottom of this page. 

If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe. You will get each daily story delivered straight to your inbox.

[[CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE]]