“Why are you working? You don’t have to work,” my husband, Sheldon Good, said. To him it appeared I was toiling over the last paragraph of my musings to you, darlings. I looked up and said, “I have worked all my life because LIFE IS WORK.”
He looked startled. I went on, “I have put my effort into everything I have done since I was a first-grader, living in Kankakee by the Sea, learning to read and write. College was work and marriage was work. Motherhood was real work and making friends and running charitable organizations and participating in sports was work. I have always worked in order to achieve positive results.” He stared at me smiling and softly said, “I love you, Suzi Good.” I smiled back and went back to working.
Darlings, our histories as younger women are similar. After the age of 50, we scatter in all directions. Now we are faced with entering new and unsure passages in our lives. We have to work, yes work, at adapting to a new lifestyle. Many of us plow right in and many of us, like myself, faced this passage with puzzlement, asking ourselves, “Now what?” And for good reason…
No more constant mothering. Our active households are replaced with retired husbands altering the dynamics of home life and marriage. Some of us have left the workforce and careers, leaving not only a job but fondly thought of co-workers or we face a move from a large family home to a smaller space or move to a new community leaving all familiarity behind. And on and on.
Lots of unfamiliar adjustments and for some, lots of downtime figuring out what we really want to do to be happy and productive after the age of 50. Darlings, do not despair. Get to work. Find a new purpose and passion, get energized, take chances.
Be an explorer, seize new opportunities and remember …this is your time.
There is a great big world out there filled with many options to sink our teeth into for women over 50. It is up to you to find your niche. Now is not the time to shut down or slow down. It is time to find a new and vital lease on your life.
Five years ago I asked myself, “Now what?” I was busy but restless because I did not like what I was doing during the day. Fortunately, I believe in chance. I am a dreamer who believes dreams can come true. Call it my spiritual side.
One day, a happening came my way. I met a writer who told me to keep a journal for three months and never miss a day writing. She promised me, “You will find your voice.” I was not a writer by degree but then again I did not know how to read at age six until I worked and learned.
I was intrigued by her statement, “you will find your voice,” so I plunged into daily journaling for three months, never missing a day. It was not long after I found my center. I loved to write, to spend time alone with my inner thoughts in the quiet of the day and the quiet of the night with my precious dog Orchid by my side during the day and my fabulous husband by my side at night. My perspectives and perceptions of people, lifestyle, family, friends, personal needs, fears, desires and “who I really am” exploded outside my subconscious into consciousness. I thought about everything long and hard before I shared my musings and I must tell you, darlings, writing has changed my feelings about oh so many things. And, it is all good. And I am happy because I worked to find positive fulfillment.
Tips for seeking a new lease on life after 50
- Fate. Believe in fate. Take a flying leap.
- Challenge your mind. It is never too late to go back to school.
- Be creative: Work with your hands, plant your first garden, learn to work with clay or glass, needlepoint, knit or embroider.
- Join a group: A book group, movie group, card group, money group, any group that suits your fancy.
- Start traveling. Open up your mind to exploring the world. It is called wanderlust.
Last but not least, darlings, keep a journal and ‘you will find your voice.’
Dear Honey,
Thank you for this powerful push forward. Sometimes I do feel like giving up dealing with this aging thing. It truly isn’t for cowards.
Your idea of writing a journal for three months is excellent. It forms a habit that can takes us on a journey we might not expect.
Susan
You are so right. We have to work to have the best life possible. Go for it. Warmly, Honey
You are an inspiration for most women regardless of economic status. What great validation and meaning for all entities described as “Work.” Women work with or without a paycheck. Your realistic perspective and optimism is a gift to all.
Thank you so much for your words with gratitude. Warmly, Honey
Thank you Honey. I do journal already every day. I did move to a new city a year ago and that has ba challenge, leaving children and friends, familiarity. But it’s getting easier, I ask God to help me be at peace in the season I’m in right now. I am getting ready to do volunteer work at a local hospital. Familiarity so that will help I hope and maybe I will make more friends. Thank you for the muses each day..
You are reinventing your life and I applaud your style. You are putting yourself out there.You will make new friends. Warmly, Honey
Thank you for those inspiring words. This is were I am. Can’t decide next adventure. I would love to have a journal but can’t get past having my thoughts on paper should someone find them. I am a very private person. Any suggestions besides “get over it”.
Thanks
Please do not use those thoughts to stop you from doing something you wish to do. You can find a private hiding place, so yes, darling Donna, please get over it. Warmly, Honey
Love this, Honey.
Such an inspiration to so many!
Thank you so much Akaisha. Glad I made you happy. Warmly, Honey
I am a lifelong writer and wish that I could find a way to extend my shelf life with it. Or with something! At 69, now separated from friends and family and so very lonely, though still completely healthy, I feel like I am just fading away. I struggle with becoming useless now that I’m not working or being productive. Yes, depression is settling in. I’m not ready to be done yet. Any ideas?
I see vitality and desire behind your words! I suggest you join a group in your community that feeds your soul. A group that has the type of people that you can relate to. You might also join one or more of my private Facebook groups. The women engage and I am sure if you asked them for ideas you would get an ‘earful’ of advice. You can find my groups titles on my website HoneyGood.com. If you have any more questions send me another comment and I will answer. Warmly, Honey