I'm Honey!

As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

Oh My, Ponder This:








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Today on Ask Honey – How to Live Into Your Answers

live into your answer, darling. Smile!

I Don’t Meditate, I Ponder

Darling, I don’t meditate… I ponder. I realize when I ponder, which is often, I am meditating but my pondering is organic. It develops naturally and I like it that way. Every Tuesday I walk across the street to the Farmer’s Market to buy a little of this and that. I always carry home a bouquet of flowers that I casually put into a clear vase with water. But, I don’t place my bouquet of flowers stem by stem into a design. I just do it! It is organic. Pondering is how I live into my answer.

My important problems take pondering, a lot of pondering, unless a light bulb goes off, my instinct, and I just live into the answer. Normally that is not the case. Problem-solving does not become clear immediately and truth be told sometimes we all live into the answer after we thought we had the answer! When that happens to me I say, “Oh no! Why didn’t I think of that.”

Well, it is never too late to change direction unless it is with a person who will not budge an inch. If that is the case, maybe you should consider deleting that person from your life! That will certainly solve the problem.

Take Your Time to Live Into Your Answer

Living into an important answer is tough work. This is my favorite saying by Rainer Maria Rilke: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke was a poet and novelist and a Bohemian. His writing is known as mystical. That is why I am drawn to his poetry.

When problems arise our minds can spiral out of control. Therefore, take your time in deciding on a solution and deliberate, ponder. As time goes by you will be able to focus. I write my thoughts down, usually in columns: My questions, my concerns, my first solution which usually changes over time. Seeing my thoughts on paper gives me a sense of direction to focus on. Then I begin to ponder. I may not find my answer for weeks or months… My latest problem took me two years to live into my answer.

The moral of the story: Your answer will not be perfect for everyone involved; make certain it is perfect for you! And, darling, that is not being selfish. That is a smart woman.

Ask Honey – Advice For Every Woman

August 26, 2020

Kim Asks:

Dear Honey,

I have a “shallow” question concerning living in the past. I miss my 20/20 vision and subsequently am having to rely on glasses to function. So, I try getting by with readers but it’s too frustrating taking them on and off. I love the look of your blue-tinted glasses. Maybe I would get used to looking at myself with glasses if they looked as good as yours. I have a great frame that I love – how do I go about getting the perfect tint?

You are delightful and I so enjoy every article.

Much love ~ Kim xo

Dear Kim,

This is a piece of cake!

Firstly, recognize that your glasses are a beautiful accessory; not a medical necessity!

A smart woman knows that her glasses define her taste while at the same time giving an instant indication to others who she is!

Take the frames you love with your prescription into a store that sells frames. Most, if not all of these stores, have color samples ranging in different shades of blue, grey, lavender, orange, pink, and green. The samples are shown to you on the glass so they are true colors. Voila! It is a done deal.

Take your time in choosing the color. This is a big deal because you want to adore your new possession and want them to make a ‘good’ first impression.’

If the color is not what you expected don’t accept them. I have had this happen and the companies have always sent them back for adjustment.

Now you will enjoy and… see!

Thank you for the compliment. I am blushing.




Darlene Asks:

Hi Honey, You are so beautiful and youthful. Can you walk me through your morning routine and let me know what beauty products you use?
Thank you!

Dear Darlene!

I am happy to share my everyday morning routine with you. Firstly, I always take a quick morning shower. It is revitalizing!

I cleanse my face with Sisley the gentle make-up remover for face and eyes and all skin types (to make sure all makeup is off) followed by one of two brands of liquid soap, Fresh with Cucumber or La Mer. I apply La Mer The Concentrate followed with Creme De La Mer. That is my cleaning morning routine.

If I am having a casual day which is the norm now,  I still take the time to put on makeup for myself and my Ultimate Concierge. My day time makeup routine is simple and au natural.

  1. La Mer brush on light bronzer
  2. Sisley L’Orchidee Rose Highlighter Blush. This is an all-over face highlighter (my skin has a pink tone).
  3. Tom Ford No. 4 Wicked Cheek Color.
  4. Lipstick. I like several brands and I always wear my lipstick!
  5. Perfume. A must for me! My favorite brand is Baccarat 540 by Maison Francis Kurkdjian. I am stopped daily by men and women asking for the scent. I also like Shalimar and Jo Malone.

Thank you so much for the compliment!




MaryAnne Asks:

My adult children will not leave me alone and let me live my life. They are so concerned about COVID-19, which I am too, but they don’t want me to do anything, not even see my grandchildren. It is their right, so I’m not upset about that, but I wish they would see that I’m an adult, the one who raised them. Any advice for me in this trying time?

Dear MaryAnne,

I know this sounds harsh but this is my instant first thought: Be grateful they love you and care, tell them daily.

On the other hand, you are right, you are an adult woman and can make your own decisions. Make them without discussion. Live your life on your terms.

Zoom with your grands, talk to them. Where there is a will, darling, there is a way. If you don’t know how, I am sure your kids do. Ask them to set up Zoom for you.


Well, darling, I am off to ponder. It seems I am always pondering about one thing or another. I am never bored with thoughts. Whew!

We are all GRANDWOMEN with Moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.


    August 27, 2020


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    1. patricia nisenholz says:

      This hit home… I struggle with “meditating “… I always go right to sleep… It can sometimes be better with a guided meditation… but still I find myself feeling badly when so many I know find calm in this activity and it just does not work for me. The 1st sentence in this post grabbed me… I even took the time to look up “PONDER”.. no surprise here that one of its defintions was ” meditate”! .. Love your suggestion of writing down… that always works better for me!

    2. Rosemary says:

      Rainer Maria Rilke is one of my favourite poets too! (Especially the Duino Elegies – read them when I visited that part of Italy, walking through the pine trees where he walked too) But I hadn’t seen that quote before and it’s a really good one. Something to live by, especially in times where we definitely do not know all the answers.

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