Lately, I have been thinking back instead of living in the moment and looking forward. I always preach that living in the present is a gift, living in the past is over and living in the future is a waste of one’s precious time.

However, lately the past, even with its hills and valleys, seems so much more pleasant and productive than the present. So much so that my mood or an experience inadvertently diverts my thoughts from the present to my past.

As I continue to mention (I fear I am beginning to sound like a broken record) I have become lethargic due to the lifestyle in Elsewhere. It is another early morning in my beautiful Chicago. The sun is rising, the city is quiet, I watch the lake water moving slowly. Our home is still, all asleep. The mindful flute music I am listening to on my new Google Nest Hub Max takes me back in time.

How to Live in the Now: Embracing 2018

I recall walking in on my ultimate concierge. He was sitting at his desk. I blurted, “ Shelly, I have been married to you for 27 years and you have never heard me say that I am so very tired.”

You see, dear reader, at this time in my life I was so busy, I was dizzy. I went on to tell him that everything and everyone else came first and I had forgotten about myself. I told him I wanted to get away and reconnect with the me in me.

He stared at me with a worried and shocked look on his face. I realized I needed to talk about my feelings and needs, so I continued with my drama-rama, dear reader!

“I would like to go to a mystical and magical place surrounded by the quiet of the day and night, and nature. A Shangri-La.”

He laughed at my drama, dear reader saying, “You are so dramatic!”

But I persisted. “ I feel I am wilting,” I remember telling him.

He now became speechless, this talkative husband of mine, finally asking, “Would you like me to take you to the Golden Door?”

My eyes opened wide and a big smile spread across my face. I remember telling him that I would adore that.

Just then I recall another sign to point me in the right direction: my iPhone rang. It was Leila, my manicurist, reminding me I had an appointment in 15 minutes. The one weekly pleasure I gave myself and I had to be reminded with a phone call! Something was not right. I had lost my way.

A LIFESTYLE OUT OF BALANCE

My health and well-being used to be a top priority. Rarely did I miss a day on my treadmill. I had a quiet breakfast with my Ultimate Concierge. I took my pooch for early morning walks that ended with a run up the Museum of Contemporary Arts 25 steps. Once at the top we would plop down, my pooch nestled tightly into my body. These activities benefited both of our bodies and supported our overall well-being, helping us stay physically and mentally healthy. We would watch the world go by below. Taxis and buses and people racing while we relaxed in our aloneness. I was very happy.

I escaped into great novels and talked on the phone to girlfriends. When I shopped at the market, it was with deliberation. I wrote my stories, I took my time in planning my calendar; now, I’d forgotten to send back a reply to a celebration. My life was out of balance and I knew it.

BE DELIBERATE WITH PRESENT MOMENT AWARENESS

It occurred to me that I needed to slow down (now I need to speed up!) and calm down to figure out how to combat the negatives that were dismantling my life. At the Golden Door, I accomplished the mission.

There, I was deliberate. I knew the lack of nourishing the inner and outer me had taken a heavy toll. I knew who and what the culprits were. They don’t occur overnight. They build. You know that, too. My issue was to attack them with positive solutions and come up with a plan. This was a process of self-discovery and emotional reflection.

Much of the week, I remember I spent time thinking about how not to be last on my hit parade. I became more aware of my thoughts, emotions, and needs. “What are my needs, what are my next steps? How could I live the life I needed without giving up everything else I loved?” These are the questions I asked myself.

I knew I had to commit myself to living a healthy, emotional, and physical lifestyle that suited me! I also realized the importance of adopting new practices to support my emotional and physical well-being. That week at the Golden Door, I found my way.

Breathing Techniques for Relaxation

One of the simplest yet most powerful ways to return to the present moment is through your breath. Practicing mindfulness with deep breathing exercises can help you let go of worries about the past or future events, allowing you to stay present and fully engaged in daily life. When you focus on your breath, you create a sense of awareness that grounds you in the here and now, reducing stress and anxiety.

Try this: the next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and take a slow, deep breath in, feeling your chest rise. Hold it for a moment, then exhale gently, noticing the sensation as the air leaves your body. Repeat this a few times, and you’ll likely notice a shift—a sense of calm and well-being washing over you. These breathing exercises are mindfulness techniques you can practice anywhere, anytime, to bring your attention back to the present and help you stay focused on what truly matters in your life.

Making deep breathing a regular part of your daily routine can transform how you experience each moment, helping you reduce stress and find peace, no matter what is happening around you.

Connecting with Nature

There’s something magical about spending time in nature that naturally brings us back to the present moment. Whether you’re walking through a leafy park, listening to the gentle sounds of birds, or simply feeling the sun on your skin, nature invites you to pay attention to your physical sensations and the world around you. This practice of mindfulness helps quiet negative thoughts and anxious thoughts, creating space for self-compassion and a deeper sense of awareness.

When you immerse yourself in the beauty of nature, you can feel more alive and connected—not just to the world, but to yourself. Try taking a mindful walk, noticing the colors, textures, and sounds that surround you. Or, practice yoga outdoors, letting each breath and movement anchor you in the present. Even a few minutes spent sitting quietly under a tree can help you stay present, find peace, and nurture your well-being.

By making time to connect with nature, you give yourself the gift of presence, allowing your mind and spirit to rest and recharge.

Technology and Mindfulness

In our fast-paced world, technology can often pull us away from the present moment, filling our minds with other thoughts and constant notifications. But when used mindfully, technology can also support your mindfulness practice. There are countless apps and online resources offering guided meditation, deep breathing exercises, and other mindfulness techniques to help you stay focused and present in daily life.

The key is to create healthy boundaries around your technology use. Set aside specific times for mindfulness exercises, and consider turning off notifications or putting your phone on “do not disturb” during these moments. By being intentional with your technology, you can use it as a tool to enhance your practice, rather than letting it control your life.

Remember, practicing mindfulness is about bringing your full attention to the present, whether you’re using a meditation app or simply taking a few mindful breaths. With a little awareness and discipline, technology can become an ally in your journey to greater peace and well-being.

Building Positive Relationships

Nurturing positive relationships is essential for our mental health and overall well-being. When you practice mindfulness in your interactions—truly listening, staying present, and offering your full attention—you create deeper, more meaningful connections with others. This sense of presence helps you stay connected, reduces worries and fears, and fosters a spirit of gratitude and self-compassion.

Consider joining a yoga class or a mindfulness group, where you can spend time with supportive people who share your values. Or, simply make it a habit to practice gratitude for the loved ones in your life, letting them know how much they mean to you. By being fully engaged in your relationships, you create a sense of community and joy that enriches every moment.

Building positive relationships is not just about being there for others—it’s also about allowing yourself to receive support and kindness. When you stay present and practice self-compassion, you invite more peace, understanding, and happiness into your life and the lives of those around you.

MY SOLUTIONS – HOW TO HAVE IT ALL AND REDUCE STRESS

I recall my thoughts and want to share them with you in case you are feeling like I was feeling at that time.

• I started blocking people and promos on social media to create space from digital distractions and reconnect with myself.
• I changed my breakfast routine, bringing focus to the present moment and enjoying the sounds and senses of the morning.
• I made exercise a priority, using mindfulness meditation as a technique to stay present and aware of my body and senses during movement.

Practicing gratitude on a daily basis has helped me foster appreciation and emotional well-being.

When reflecting on self-care, I now acknowledge and process my feelings, which helps me manage worry, worrying, fear, and even depression.

Living in the moment and being aware of the monkey mind helps me stay present and reduce mental chatter.

I WILL: PRACTICE GRATITUDE

• Block a few people and promos off my phone, emails lists, and text messages. I had never done that before.
• Employ a personal assistant. I had never done that before.
• Change our hurried breakfast to a calm experience. A morning routine that includes a talkative breakfast with my Ultimate Concierge. With Hawaiian and mindful music in the background (no tv) as we sip on fresh-squeezed orange juice and munch avocado, pomegranate seeds, a bowl of steel-cut oatmeal, etc… Not part of my present lifestyle.
• Add a monthly facial, lymphatic massage, wax, to my weekly manicure and monthly pedicure. I never took the time with consistency.
• I cut my own hair with my kitchen scissors whenever I am in the mood, but I decided I will have my hair done weekly because I love Colette, my hairdresser, and friend. Also because I have photoshoots and videos for my website, HoneyGood.com, and my Instagram channel @iamhoneygood. Never before.
• Work out an exercise routine that floats my boat; not the boat of others.
• Take the time to smell the flowers!
• Constantly remind myself, “ If I am not content, fulfilled, and happy, how can I be good to all those I care for?” Caring starts with me.

Looking back, four years ago, my Ultimate Concierge came to my rescue and I recall feeling so grateful. He understood what I was going through and afforded me the luxury of taking a week out of my life to listen to my needs. It worked.

DID I SUCCEED?

Yes! Yes! Oh yes it did! It is four years later and the list is still intact. Looking back, so much has happened as a result of these changes, showing the impact of focusing on what truly matters. The problem is I am intact but the world around me is frazzled! La de da. LOL.

Remember, it’s important to live in the present to maintain ongoing well-being and not dwell on what happened in the past.

Is it time for add ons to my list? Stay tuned for 2022.

I WANT TO LEAVE YOU WITH THIS MESSAGE:

As I look back over the last four years, I have added these thoughts: I am an ‘empowered’ woman. I am an ‘enlightened’ woman. I have earned the right as a woman 50+ to live a luxurious life, one I aspire to.

Not bad, right! I am smiling.

I would love to hear how you make yourself a priority and live in the now. Let’s start a discussion in the comments. I love hearing from you!

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