What does it mean to give yourself grace during hard times? In our search for calm and stability during a difficult few years and feeling overly overwhelmed from stress; giving ourselves grace seems so apropos. The world has been facing collective challenges, making self-grace even more essential. We are aware of our flaws, our blunders. We feel inadequate at times. We are hard on ourselves. Often, our belief in perfection or unrealistic standards makes it even harder to give ourselves grace. But, do remember no one is perfect. So do show yourself grace during your hard times this way. It doesn’t matter how big or small the challenge is—self-compassion is always important.

Give yourself grace and self compassion!

Giving yourself grace is a refrain you should turn to when coping with daily frustrations; breaking a promise, arguing with family members, and of course, dealing with the repercussions of isolation. Life in an isolated and lonely Elsewhere is still with almost every American citizen.

Grace offers relief in the midst of difficulty. However, giving yourself grace is not an excuse for avoiding responsibility or for complacency. Giving yourself grace is permission to be forgiving toward yourself for your mistakes and lapses in judgment.

Giving yourself grace can be a complicated process. For myself, I see different situations.

I find I must find a way to grant myself grace when I made errors that are unintentional but nevertheless wrong. I find myself guilt-ridden, and upset, and going to the ends of the earth to be apologetic. The internal dialogue in my head often makes it even harder to move toward self-forgiveness. Until I accomplish the mission, I am unable to give myself grace – until I make restitution with others and myself, I cannot move on completely. I have heard from others that self-forgiveness is essential for growth and mental well-being.

Understanding the Importance of Self Grace

Understanding the importance of self grace is truly transformative, especially when life throws challenges your way. Self grace is about treating yourself with the same kindness and patience you would offer a dear friend. It means recognizing that you are human, and that making mistakes or feeling overwhelmed is simply part of the journey. When you practice self grace, you give yourself permission to acknowledge your emotions, learn from your experiences, and move forward without the heavy burden of self-judgment.

This concept isn’t about making excuses for your actions, but rather about understanding your limitations and taking responsibility with compassion. By embracing self grace, you allow yourself to forgive, to grow, and to nurture your well-being. It’s a gentle reminder that you are worthy of love and understanding, even when things don’t go as planned. As you navigate relationships, face challenges, and deal with the ups and downs of life, self grace becomes a guiding light—helping you treat yourself with the same care you extend to others. Remember, giving yourself grace is not a one-time act, but a daily practice that supports your positive outlook and personal growth. It’s a gift you can offer yourself on any given day, and it’s essential for living a life filled with kindness, understanding, and resilience.

Giving grace is not following the pack

On the other side of the coin, when I do something intentional that others object to, and I find myself behind the 8 ball, I have no problem giving myself grace because I did what I considered noble or protective of a situation or person and after thinking it through, I can justify my action and I am proud to let the chips fall where they may. I always do my due diligence before I feel this empowerment. When you feel as I do go with your gut but please don’t lord it over another person or group with harshness but rather with your authentic feelings. Never ever bully. It’s also important to decide when to stand by your actions and when to reconsider if a task or situation no longer aligns with your values.

There is a second situation that is strictly emotional… family, friends, and a significant other.  When any type of emotional hardship with family and friends enters the picture I do try try try to help the situation with a positive attitude. At times it is hard to find solutions because one needs two to tangle. Openly talking about your feelings can help resolve issues and foster understanding. If a problem does not work out and I know I have given it my all I kindly tell myself that I am ok because I feel it is extremely unhealthy and destructive to a woman over 50 to allow negative comments from others to infest her life.  Admitting the mess in relationships is necessary for growth. The support of a church community can also provide grace and encouragement during these times. This limits a woman’s potential. You must show yourself, grace.

Every emotional hardship can feel like a difficult task, and sometimes you have to decide which tasks are worth pursuing for your well-being. The importance of talk and ongoing talking with loved ones cannot be overstated, as it helps maintain healthy relationships and emotional balance.

Loneliness

Thirdly there is the other situation that may arise. During the holidays many of you are alone or feel alone. This is trying. The only way you can feel grace at this difficult time is with active, positive action, especially by being active in seeking connection with others. You are in the driver’s seat and it is up to you to find personal joy. Sad but true. But you can do it. We all can. Harder for some than for others. So, be good to yourself by putting yourself out there to find sustaining grace in your life. Sometimes, spending time with kids or family members can help ease feelings of loneliness and bring moments of joy.

Remember, giving yourself grace is not just for a single day—it may be needed throughout the week, especially during challenging times. Events like a party or social gathering can sometimes highlight feelings of loneliness, so it’s important to give yourself grace in those moments as well.

In other words, giving yourself grace is giving yourself permission to forgive your mistakes, and lapses in judgment and do something about your feelings of loneliness to make sound judgments in ‘the now.’

I also think we all should all let go of self-criticism, shame, and pity through positive action. This will certainly help a woman after 50 give herself grace during hard times.

Cultivating Self Compassion

Cultivating self compassion is one of the most powerful ways to practice self grace and nurture your well-being. Imagine how you would comfort a best friend who is struggling—now, offer that same warmth and understanding to yourself. When you’re caught in the midst of anxiety, guilt, or shame, pause and take a few deep breaths. Allow yourself the space to feel your emotions without judgment, and remind yourself that it’s okay to be human.

Self compassion means treating yourself gently, especially when you’re facing challenges or feeling stuck. It’s about recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and that you are not alone in your struggles. By practicing mindfulness and self-kindness, you create a safe space within to process your feelings and begin to heal. This isn’t about ignoring your pain or excusing your actions, but about understanding your emotions and responding with care.

As you continue on your journey, remember that self compassion is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to admit when you’re hurting and to treat yourself with the same kindness you would show to others. Over time, this practice will help you become more aware of your thoughts and behaviors, empowering you to make positive changes and find joy even in difficult moments. So, the next time you’re struggling, be your own best friend—offer yourself grace, understanding, and a gentle reminder that you are worthy of love and compassion.

Managing Stress and Anxiety

Managing stress and anxiety is an essential part of giving yourself grace and protecting your well-being. When life feels overwhelming and your mind is racing, it’s important to pause, take a deep breath, and give yourself permission to rest. Remember, you don’t have to do it all at once, and it’s perfectly fine to admit when you need a break.

Self grace means recognizing your limits and allowing yourself the space to recharge. Reach out to friends or loved ones when you need support, and don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional if you’re struggling. Setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-care are not selfish acts—they are necessary for your mental and emotional health.

It’s also important to recognize that feeling anxious or stressed does not mean you’re failing. Everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay to not have everything under control. By being gentle with yourself and acknowledging your feelings, you can move through difficult times with greater resilience. Celebrate the small victories, and be proud of yourself for showing up, even on the hard days. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and giving yourself grace is a powerful way to honor your needs and nurture your spirit. So, take a moment to breathe, rest, and remind yourself that you are doing your best—and that is more than enough.

Celebrate yourself

As women over 50, you can do the above through self-care. It is wonderful to celebrate yourself. Don’t take time to dwell on your failures. Dwell on your successes.  When I do this I become centered and it is a marvelous and self-satisfying feeling. Embracing the idea of self-grace can inspire even small steps toward positive change and personal growth.

Therefore, I don’t think there is anything wrong with self-care or self-compassion. For example, when I apologize or I have an interpersonal conflict that is resolved I am being kind to myself as well as the other person.  And, this feeling may allow me (and you) to act differently in the future. We are giving ourselves the grace to step forward with positive choices. Giving yourself grace can take many forms, such as self-forgiveness, acts of kindness, or practicing equanimity in challenging moments. Our bodies will relax, especially when we engage in physical relaxation techniques like deep breathing or guided meditation, which help the body unwind and promote a sense of calm. Our exhaustion from any type of turmoil will allow us to unwind from stress and we can ‘simply be’ women after or before the age of 50.

Don’t become too non-judgemental!

But remember darling, don’t be too ‘nonjudgemental.’ In other words, don’t become apathetic about your behavior! When you are overwhelmed and don’t know what to do to make a situation better let’s greet your options with grace, courteous goodwill, and refinement. This is certainly giving ourselves grace.

The hardest times to give yourself grace for mistakes

One thing that has helped me most in hard times is remembering to give myself grace, no matter the circumstances.

It is very hard to find grace in hard times for women over 50 when they are widowed, divorced, change careers, have an ill spouse, retire and live in Elsewhere. These are major life changes. We find we are at the mercy of circumstances beyond our control. We are forced to find a new normal. When we look back at the past, we can see how much we’ve grown through these challenges. We are faced with heartache, despair, and debilitating stress.

We have no choice, darling. Remember we are wisened women after 50 and we have the tools to give ourselves grace during hard times.

We can sink or we can swim. We have no choice but to learn to navigate. Sometimes, you have to make your best guess about what to do next, even when the path isn’t clear. We have to move toward self-growth. I am a firm believer in reaching out to others for help, taking one step at a time, opening myself to learning, eventually accepting the change, and then focusing on positive possibilities. I also create a support team. Sometimes, help comes as a gentle pull from someone who cares, reminding us that support can appear in unexpected ways. Trust me, darling, it usually works.

When we are confronted with giving ourselves grace during hard times, resilience is key. Some of us have it. Some of us don’t. If you don’t have resilience you do have the wear with all to ‘think.’ Your ability to cope is strengthened by giving yourself grace, allowing you to face challenges with renewed strength. If you are unable to act, call in those who can help you put your thoughts and desires into action. I have done this. It takes a village sometimes. You are not weak when you call on others. You are strong. Showing vulnerability is empowering. Did you know that most women CEOs of corporations are women who show their vulnerable side to their staff?

Be grateful

Lastly, ‘simply be’ by showing grace to yourself, too. I am just one grateful and blessed person to have learned the value of grace. In my stories to you, I have written that I think this began at a young age when my mom, may she rest in peace, gave me my first box of stationary and pencil set to write to people who gave me presents on my birthday. I learned to express thanks. I felt good. I was happy with myself. I have passed this down to my daughters and grandchildren. Whatever means you have turned on gratitude.

Sharing these lessons through my blog helps others find inspiration and practical guidance in their own journeys. I also thank God for the grace and strength to persevere, recognizing that His unmerited favor sustains me.

I hope at least one sentence of this story lights a spark in you to give yourself grace during hard times. You are wisened women after 50 and I am smiling. The word ‘grace’ has truly become a guiding principle in my life.