Darling, I was talking to a close friend about our relationships with our children. We discussed the times we have wanted to express our feelings with a member of our family but didn’t because we did not want to create a tsunami wave! This led to a broader discussion because it’s the New Year of the many promises we made to ourselves that we did not keep and left unresolved in our hearts and mind. Often, we can feel confused about what we truly need versus what we want, especially when reflecting on past resolutions.

We then discussed our 2021 New Year’s resolutions that led to laughter because I said, “I think I am doing well with my mindful journey, my needs to a happy inner lifestyle. It’s my ‘outer journey,’ my wants to feel happier with my outer lifestyle,” and I expounded with the following, in one breath, “I need an Ophthalmologist for my eyesight, a Pediatrist for my bad feet, a Bra Specialist for my boobs, and a Plastic Surgeon for my neck!” These kinds of discussions help us discover more about our true needs and wants.

She started to laugh and so did I and it felt so good because laughter is difficult in our life these days in Elsewhere. I realized during our conversation how important these connections and insights are for understanding ourselves.

Actions Speak Loud

When we got off of the phone, I made an appointment with the Ophthalmologist, the Pediatrist, and a Bra Specialist. I felt relieved and was happy. “Three down and one to go,” I said out loud. As I was deciding which needs to address first, I realized how important it is to prioritize and make informed choices. Making these appointments made me feel prepared to take the next steps in addressing my needs.

Now for the tough call because of indecision…

My neck! I have been toying with this problem for over three years because I don’t want a facelift with a neck-lift. I have visited one doctor three times but fear is holding me back. What fear? Well, the fear of being disappointed. I don’t want to change my face. I don’t want to look younger.

Darling, I just want to clean up my neck that is damaged from the sun, scar tissue, thyroid surgery, and from age! I can’t make a fourth appointment! I can’t go to a New York surgeon or an L.A. plastic surgeon (who I also visited a year ago) because of COVID-19. My gut tells me to trust the L.A. surgeon. The timing is off so I am in a quandary. But, I am going to call the L.A. doctor. Now I have made a partial decision. At this point, I recognize it as a key moment in my decision-making journey. “That is better than no decision at all,” I think to myself.

Even though I am still uncertain, I understand that distinguishing between my needs and wants is an ongoing course that requires reflection and mindful choices. My perspective on what matters most to me continues to shape these decisions.

What Is Your True Need In 2021

The most important words in this story are the words want and need. Personally, I think both have value but it’s very important to have the clarity to be able to distinguish between your wants and your needs. Recognizing the benefits of making this distinction—such as reduced stress, saving money, and improved well-being—can greatly enhance your life.

I believe we all want to find inner peace in 2021. So, try to acknowledge you cannot have everything you ‘want’ especially while we live in Elsewhere. Darling, it is far more important to work on what you ‘need’ for personal contentment. Making these distinctions now can positively impact your future by helping you align your actions with your long-term goals and values.

Ask yourself what you need that will bring you contentment and joy in 2021.

Applying Wants and Needs in Daily Life

Darling, understanding the difference between wants and needs isn’t just a philosophical exercise—it’s a practical skill that shapes our daily life and well-being. When we learn to distinguish between what is essential and what is simply a desire, we empower ourselves to make informed decisions that serve our true needs and support a balanced, fulfilling existence.

Let’s take health care as an example. Access to health care is a necessity, a true need that supports our existence and well-being. On the other hand, a luxury vacation or the latest designer clothes, while delightful, are wants—desires that can enhance our lives but are not essential for our security or survival. By focusing our money, energy, and resources on essentials like food, shelter, and health, we create a strong foundation for ourselves and our families.

In daily life, this distinction can guide our spending habits. For instance, choosing to cook a nourishing meal at home rather than dining out every night is a way to fulfill the need for food while also saving money for other priorities. These small, mindful choices add up, helping us maintain financial security and peace of mind.

Parents, you have a wonderful opportunity to teach your children about the difference between needs and wants. Open conversations about money, setting examples through your own spending, and encouraging kids to save and budget can help them develop a healthy relationship with resources. When children understand that not every desire must be fulfilled immediately, they learn the value of patience, gratitude, and prioritizing what truly matters.

Taking time to reflect before making a purchase—what I like to call “verification successful waiting”—is a helpful process. Pause and ask yourself: Is this an essential need, or simply a want? Does it serve my well-being, or is it a fleeting desire? This skill of verification can help us resist impulsive spending and make choices that align with our long-term goals and values.

The ray id of making these informed decisions is a life that feels more secure, balanced, and connected to reality. When we focus on fulfilling our essential needs, we naturally become more grateful for what we have, and less likely to be swayed by the endless desires marketed to us in today’s world. This sense of distinction brings clarity, reduces stress, and allows us to spend our resources—money, time, and energy—on what truly serves us and those we love.

Ultimately, distinguishing between needs and wants is a lifelong skill, one that helps us maintain our priorities, nurture our relationships, and create a sense of security and well-being. By practicing this process, we prepare ourselves to face life’s challenges with confidence, knowing we are making choices that support our existence, our health, and our happiness. And, darling, isn’t that what life is all about?

My Needs and Wants and My Wish For You

I am going to create space in our home to nurture an Olive Tree, create a plan for two trips by the sea (because life cannot stop), and remember the importance of budgeting for these adventures and future home improvements. I will create a long-overdue letter, create a dazzling foyer to welcome those I love, and take care of my health, making healthcare a top priority. I will shower love on my Ultimate Concierge, my pooch America and my family, and nurture true friendships, recognizing the importance of friends as a support system during both joyful and difficult times. I will listen to music instead of the news, and when I need a fresh perspective, I’ll take a walk or try new routines. In the market of life and desires, I will strive for balance, seeking fulfillment not just through wants, but by meeting my true needs. For self-care, I will use other means, such as meditation or journaling, to nurture myself. I am grateful for what I have, knowing that millions face challenges every day, especially in accessing basic needs. I reflect on the last time I made a significant change, and how each decision is a step toward growth. And above all, I will… simply be.

Sending love, warmth, and friendship to you. May the year 2021 bless you and your families and may you also, simply be.

What are your needs, wants, and wishes for this New Year’s Eve? Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page, I want to hear from you!

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