I am drawn to women who have a free spirit, are warm by choice, are open books, make me feel joy, refuse to hide their vulnerabilities, offer good solid advice, speak out instead of forever holding their peace, and don’t appear to have too large of an agenda. By choice, I am selective.
Personally, I shy away from the woman who protects her thoughts, is rigid, angry, jealous, and a bore. I am drawn to a creative woman. Her artful ways peak my fancy. I am also drawn to the woman whose life resembles the perfection of Renoir. Creativity and stability make for the perfect girlfriend.
I wish I could gather around me my group of women who light my fire with joy, curiosity, love, insight, wisdom, dreams, and stability. Unfortunately, most of them live in several locations in America and elsewhere, while three of my nearest and dearest friends are in heaven; one is my mother.
I think part of today’s problems is the human spirit has been ‘over domesticated.’ When we were little babes, we never had a problem saying, “NO” to others. We spit out the truth. As adults, we have become overly guarded.
In the end, we have to rely on our personal power to become free spirits after 50. It is very doable. Stop being ‘over domesticated’ and be a free spirit!
What To Do: How I Took Back My Joy
- Realize your own power and potential for joy. Become a woman over 50 who feels free, fearless, and joyful, not programmed.
- Live your life on your terms based on your personal belief system rather than a belief system based on fear and the judgment of others.
- Don’t follow the pack. Follow your spirit. Be vocal—speak your truth and don’t be afraid to speak up. Speaking out on topics most people won’t touch is edgy! In other words, don’t fear opening yourself up to criticism on topics that few women dare touch. Bluntness and revealing your flaws is refreshing!
- PS: I learned these pointers from my choice of friends and my experiences.
- Lead by example in your community or among your friends. Your actions and attitude can inspire others to pursue joy and authenticity.
How to Become a Free Spirit After 50
Don’t compare your life to your friends. This is a commonplace phenomenon. It ruins every person’s ability to feel joyful after 50. Stay focused on your own journey and growth, rather than being distracted by what others are doing.
Here are several propositions:
- Concentrate on the positive aspects of your life by being grateful. Spend time in gratitude or in God’s presence to deepen your joy and experience greater spiritual fulfillment.
- Don’t spend your time comparing your life to your friends. You are camouflaging your situation.
- The criticism you receive feels like an attack but remember, the perpertrator is attacking themselves.
- The sweat of your brow will create change.
- Don’t let fear and a stilted belief system stop you from your quest.
- Remember: the woman you are comparing your life to has her ‘stuff.’
- Manage your emotions—don’t let negative emotions from comparison steal your joy. Cultivating positive emotions can help you experience deeper joy.
- Climb the stairs—don’t ride the elevator. You will find your free spirit and joy after 50 joy—when you climb instead of riding to the top.
- PS. I learned the above from friends and my personal experiences!
After 50, it’s important to recognize that happiness is often fleeting and based on external circumstances, while the deeper joy you are seeking comes from within and is rooted in spiritual fulfillment.
Introduction: Restoring Your Spirit After 50
As we journey through life, especially after 50, it’s not uncommon to feel that our joy and spirit have faded. But, dear friends, the truth is that great joy is still within reach—no matter your age or circumstance. The Bible reminds us that joy is a precious fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22), a gift that God’s grace freely offers to all believers. If you’ve ever felt lost or wondered how to rekindle your spirit, know that you are not alone. With faith, a renewed mindset, and a willingness to embrace God’s love, you can restore your spirit and fill your life with much joy and purpose. In this guide, we’ll explore how to invite the Holy Spirit into your daily life, experience God’s grace, and rediscover the joy that is your birthright as a Christian. Let’s walk this path together, filled with hope and faith.
Believing in Christ and the gospel is the foundation for true joy. Christians find delight and rejoicing in worship, praise, and singing—both individually and together in the church community. The Bible is filled with verses and examples, such as Paul’s encouragement to rejoice always, Jesus’ promise of heaven and eternity, and the assurance that Christ sits at the right hand of God. When we remain in Christ and obey the Father’s commands, we experience lasting joy; if we lack joy, it may be a call to reconnect with God’s grace. Moments of night reflection can bring hope and rest, reminding us of God’s faithfulness. As we care for the earth and live out our faith, joy can suddenly arise, even in difficult times, as we trust in God’s promises.
Joy Is Not Something You Wait For—You Seek It Out
Darling, you have choices! You are the creator of everything you do. Your mind is your projector, your ray of light. The desire to experience true joy and fulfillment is something we all share, and it begins with taking responsibility for your own happiness. To find joy, you have to do your own deep dive, abiding in your own values and journey to sustain that joy. Your friends cannot get your job done but a wise inner circle can offer sound advice.
When you seek joy in this way, you move toward a more complete sense of fulfillment.
YOU WILL NEVER FIND JOY AFTER 50 IF YOU ARE A VICTIM
Remember, darling, we all have setbacks. It’s important to admit when you are feeling like a victim, as acknowledging this is the first step toward healing. Setbacks can bring emotional hurts, but recognizing and addressing these hurts is part of the process. You will not be able to move forward and find joy after 50 when you allow yourself to be the victim.
Practicing Gratitude Every Day
One of the simplest yet most powerful ways to invite joy into your life is by practicing gratitude. When you focus on the good things God has done, your heart naturally fills with joy and thanksgiving. Each day, take a moment to reflect on the blessings in your life—whether it’s a kind word from a friend, a beautiful sunrise, or simply the gift of another day. Consider keeping a gratitude journal, jotting down the moments that make your soul glad. Share your gratitude with others, or whisper a prayer of thanks to the Lord. As the Bible says in Psalm 107:1, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever!” Dear friends, making gratitude a daily habit will transform your outlook, deepen your faith, and open your heart to even more of God’s goodness.
JOY IS HAVING A CLOSE NETWORK OF WOMEN FRIENDS
Remember: Women need women, but be selective. You have choices. Being with supportive women friends can feel like singing together in harmony, bringing joy and upliftment to your life.
Being part of a church community can also provide support, encouragement, and shared joy among women, as church gatherings foster spiritual connection and collective rejoicing.
How I Found Joy After Two Serious Setbacks.
When I faced two serious setbacks, I did become fazed and frazzled. Then, I settled back and asked myself how I could drive myself forward and solve the situations. One answer took seven years to ‘live into’ to find my answer.
Seven years of sleepless nights, seven years of why me, seven years of intolerable grief. The night often became a time for reflection, prayer, and seeking comfort from God, as I searched for peace and understanding in those dark hours. During those long nights, I often reflected on my struggles and realized there were moments when I felt I had lost my joy. In those quiet hours, I would wonder if joy truly matters as long as I keep moving forward and trust in God’s plan. I am not being a drama queen. I am being my vulnerable self to show you I do not live a flawless life.
Serious situations are very complicated and take ferocity, resilience, resolve, and wisdom to stop the setback eventually. Not everyone has the same strength and resilience, but where there is a will, there can be found a way. After the age of 50, you do have the wisdom.
How I ‘Lived Into’ My Answer
At times, especially—while trying to fall asleep—I felt like the poor victim. Certain moments or memories would remind me of what I had lost, making the pain feel fresh again. Why was my joy being taken away from me by outside sources? I knew I had to come to terms with a cancer diagnosis and a serious family situation.
Reflecting on these experiences, I realized that earthly losses, while deeply painful, can lead to spiritual growth and a renewed perspective on what truly matters. I always knew it was up to me to climb the stairs to find an answer. Eventually, after seven years and thousands of steps climbed, I recently worked through my family situation. It has been an ongoing struggle. Through this process, I have also found rest in God, experiencing spiritual rest after years of striving. An ongoing but necessary evolution of tireless thinking on my part and the help from a few dear friends who gave me positive input and, of course, my Ultimate Concierge.
I owe so much to my dear friend Barbara, one of my mother’s caregivers, and my mother. Before Barbara passed away almost two years ago, she gave me advice to make a phone call to a special person for guidance. Almost two years later, yesterday to be exact, I made the call and have a meeting next week.
Despite the pain of loss, there were moments when I rejoiced in the small victories and the support I received from those around me. My mother’s caregiver jolted me into reality by giving me sound advice. I have not had the opportunity to use her advice and wisdom, but that day will come eventually. My mother did something that shocked me and geared up my power.
Focusing on the Present: The Art of Mindful Living
In our busy world, it’s easy to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets from the past. But true joy is found in the present moment. Mindful living means being fully present—savoring the sights, sounds, and blessings of right now. Take a few minutes each day to pause, breathe deeply, and notice the world around you. Let go of anxious thoughts and trust that God is with you in every circumstance. The Bible encourages us in Matthew 6:34, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” By focusing on the present, you’ll discover a sense of peace and joy that isn’t shaken by life’s ups and downs. Embrace each day with faith, knowing that God’s love and the Holy Spirit’s presence are always near.
You Can Not Recover and Find Joy Until You Mourn Every Type of Loss When You Have Lost Your Joy
On a sunny day about three weeks ago, out of the blue I opened my mouth and said, “For seven years I have been mourning a loss and now I have accepted it!!!!!” Darling, no one had died but they were no longer in my life so it was like a death to me!
During this journey, I realized that part of my mourning involved acknowledging my own sin and shortcomings, which had contributed to my pain and sense of loss. As I moved toward acceptance, I found hope and a sense of salvation that brought new meaning and comfort to my life. After reaching acceptance, I noticed I was able to truly smile again, feeling a genuine joy return to my heart.
That day, three weeks ago, it dawned on me that I had gone through the four stages of mourning a deep loss.
The four stages are: Denial. Anger. Depression. Acceptance.
This took seven years of my life to resolve!
Rely on Yourself and Dear Friends
The answer is to never give up when you face situations that rob you of joy and a free spirit. After 50 you have the wisdom to seek until you find your answer. You also have the wisdom to seek out women friends who feed your soul in a positive manner.
As a believer, my faith played a crucial role in my journey to joy, helping me reconnect with God’s presence and blessings. These experiences have not only changed my life but have also positively impacted the lives of those around me. Acts of service to others have been instrumental in restoring my joy, deepening my spiritual well-being, and strengthening my relationship with God.
Thank you, Mom, Barbara, and Nanette. After I ‘lived into’ my answer your wisdom and sound advice helped move me forward. I have found my joy full on! My burden has ceased. I physically feel my freedom, my free spirit has returned. Amen.
Conclusion: Your Next Steps to Joy and Freedom
Now that you’ve explored the importance of joy in the Christian life, it’s time to put these truths into practice. Begin by cultivating gratitude, living mindfully, and seeking God’s presence in every moment. Remember, joy is a fruit of the Spirit—available to all believers, regardless of circumstances. Don’t let the world or your situation steal your gladness. Instead, choose to rejoice in the Lord always, as the Bible encourages in Philippians 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Take that first step today, dear friends, and watch as God fills your life with joy, freedom, and peace. Your journey to a joyful, spirit-filled life starts now.
Darling, how do you reclaim your joy and become a free spirit? Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page!
We’d love to hear from you! How have you reclaimed your joy and embraced a life of freedom and faith? Share your stories, tips, and encouragement in the comments below. Remember, joy is a journey, and every step you take inspires others in our community. By opening our hearts and supporting one another, we can create a space filled with love, purpose, and the great joy that comes from living a life filled with faith. Don’t hesitate—your words might be the gift someone else needs today!
DARLING, HOW DO RECLAIM YOUR JOY AND BECOME A FREE SPIRIT? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE!
How to reclaim joy? Put to bed those things that have devastated you in some fashion. Make peace with it. In today’s social-media-frenzied world, that also may mean blocking or defriending those who have wronged you so you do not have to see them ever again in your news feed: no name, no photo, no news. It is a virtual link that is no longer valued by them and not now by you, so delete it from your life, especially if it causes you the pain of remembrance. I love this quote by Amanda Blair: “You may fear losing people. But you need to realize, losing you is something too.”
Thank you Allison for your comment and quote. Thank you very much. Warmly, Honey
Needed this post on this dreary Sunday morning. And for the week ahead as my town of HP comes back together to mark our tragedy that happened one year ago. I feel hopeful individually & collectively we move forward.
Thank You for penning this~
p.
Moving forward as a town, collectively, is heartwarming. I went to a performance to listen to the songs written by young and old who were murdered in the Holocaust. These songs were found after the war – hidden away. Every song had hope. Warmly, Honey
Glad you have come to terms with your loss. That kind of thing takes a long time to resolve and move on. Don’t ask how I know!
You mourn and survive. You cannot forget but you find joy in each day. That is the key. Warmly, Honey
Glad to read your article. I take your advice to heart
on matters in my own life. Keep up your good work.
Thank you for your trust. I am most appreciative. Warmly and in friendship, Honey