My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

Hear it From Honey: It’s GOOD Advice: “The Wisdom of How to Handle Rejection”

Rejection from others can have a positive effect if you can remember that it is generally the other person or groups of people that have a problem. Therefore, consider your choices before you fall apart. Of course, at the time you are experiencing the sting of unacceptance, you will naturally experience unpleasant feelings; sadness, dismay, anger, loss, fear, loneliness, and even invisibility. Why? Because everyone needs a community of well-minded people in their lives to survive.

When you are faced with rejection, take a deep breath and focus only on your self-worth. Use your positive resources; wisdom, experience, knowledge, and principles. Concentrate on valuing who you are and not on what the perpetrator tried to do to you. In other words, darling, never sell yourself short. Sell them short.

There Are Many Types of Rejection

There are many types of rejection; some far worse than others. Let’s deal with people today.

During the several passages of life from childhood through grandmotherhood, we take ‘hits’ that disarm us and even cut to our core. You may feel the sting of rejection in the workplace or with a friend or your mate, and even when you are in a group setting. I have been there so I can attest that if you let anyone disarm you, the experience is emotionally overwhelming.

Remember that rejection is usually associated with a person, group, organization, or a country wanting to lord power in some form. For example, a woman looks up to you but peer pressure from her comrades overrules her sound judgment. And, vice versa. The group likes you and the woman, a leader in the group, sees you as a threat and wants you out. Or, possibly you were passed over at a job you had your heart set on or retired early after being a dedicated employee for several years. There are adult children who decide to ostracize their parents from their lives and of course the spouse who wants a divorce.

I Don’t Have All The Answers

Consider for a moment The Holocaust. Six million innocent people were slaughtered, mainly those who were Jewish but also Christians, Gypsies, and those that came to their aid by millions who followed a sick leader. And, let us not forget the wealthy Southern slave owners and the Ku Klux Klan who used their power to reject a powerless group of good people and used them for monetary gain.

You ask yourself, why is man unkind to his fellow man?

I don’t have the wisdom to know all the answers, but I assume because many of these people or groups have mental health issues. They may have been brought up by parents who lack respect, empathy, and kindness of heart towards others. They are usually bullies who are insecure and lack self-confidence. They are power-seekers, unkind, lack feelings of remorse, and are inconsiderate. There are people and groups you stay away from because they are about hurting you. That is why I stress to disregard them and concentrate on the positive. Your feelings.

Why do good people do good things?

It is because they feel good about themselves. Others respect them. Maybe it is a mix, an investment strategy: do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. On a personal level being decent boosts your confidence, pride, and self-respect.

Rejection to Strength

So what can you do to survive rejection?

I know rejection is a hurtful experience. And, I have been there more than once. I survived and so will you by recognizing it is a good teacher. If you are a woman who has faced countless rejections it may be a good idea to make an appointment with a psychologist who practices in the field of Positive Psychology. Otherwise, be your own teacher.

What do I mean by rejection is a good teacher? Here are a few personal examples…

When I was growing up I was in a minority. I had to try harder to make my way. And, I had to prove to myself that I was just as adequate as the next kid. I worked at defining my capabilities to myself. Darling, I did not know I was doing this at the time because I was so young.

After journaling these past years, one day I had an ‘aha’ moment. “OMG,” I said to myself. “Maybe that is the reason. True grit comes to me naturally”.

Friendship Rejection

On another occasion, a truly close friend rejected our friendship. I am still sad and the experience happened several years ago. It dissolved over peer pressure. I still miss her and I have a feeling she misses me. We traveled far and wide with our guys and she was exceptionally caring and by my side when I had cancer. We laughed together, shared together, and never stopped talking when we were with one another or on the phone. Darling, we shopped together and loved our families. We were committed as volunteers to our favorite charities and we were happy for one another’s accomplishments. She bought me sentimental gifts she knew I would love and I still cherish. Then, an incident occurred and poof…our friendship dissolved; just like that.

The following year she called to wish me a Happy New Year and a few years later when she heard I was at the USC medical center for surgery on a broken ankle she took it upon herself to visit me. We might have repaired our friendship but we live in different cities.

What good could possibly come from this type of personal rejection?

I learned that I will never let any person or group pressure me about anyone I care for, even if the world is against them. Darling, I have lived up to my expectations. I follow one person’s mind…my own. And, I have a wealth of happy memories from our times together that still make me smile.

I have empathy for everyone. Period. I may decide I no longer want to be with you, but I will handle myself like a lady, thinking of the person and or group, as well as my own feelings. It is not about me. It’s about everyone’s feelings. I will never intentionally reject a person or group in any way but only in the right way.

I have lived through other mishaps and one extremely severe one, but I am fortunate that I have not lived through any I have not been able to manage and eventually accept…in time.

Accept What You Cannot Change

And, this brings me to a final conclusion. If I have given my all to a person or group, or I have been wrong in some manner and apologized and they still reject me, after my wounds heal I know I have to ‘accept’ what I cannot change and move on. Why? Because at that point I know it’s about their insecurities or their hateful behavior or the peer pressure they are under, etc. And, that is that, darling. Empathy, tenacity, and knowing how to pivot from rejection is not difficult.

Do you have a question or advice you’d like to hear from me? Your name will not be disclosed so feel free to write to me concerning your problems and questions at INFO@honeygood.com!

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8 Comments
  1. Thank you for your relevant and timely article on rejection. It helps one put in perspective the act and its consequences, so one can process the consequences, end the ruminating and the hurt and move one. Often I think we do not realize until much later that the rejection was really a blessing in disguise… that not getting the event/membership/opportunity helped us long term.

    1. You are very astute.If only everyone realized what you wrote. Thank you for your message. Have a nice week-end. Warmly, Honey

    1. Yes we are all vulnerable. And, showing our vulnerability is a strength. Thank you for your positive note. Warmly, Honey

  2. I love your attitude and your zest for life!! I love reading your blog daily for a boost of positive energy which is so welcome in our lives.

    1. Thank you, Patti. You started my day with a smile. I wish you a very happy day and week-end. Warmly, Honey

  3. I have a 30 plus year friendship that ended and I don’t know why? It’s been 3 years, I have tried to make amends, she doesn’t want me in her life. She has gone out of her way to hurt me, actually set me up. This I learned from her daughter, apparently this is something she does to her family for control. We share a group of friends, so far I have declined meeting if I know she will be attending. We started a mahjong group 30 years ago, we are the only 2 remaining original players. I still miss her and can’t understand what went wrong, how you can just stop caring for a person, ending a friendship. I always said to hate a friend this much it has to over money or sleeping with her husband, it’s neither. Why I can’t face her is insane she’s the one who ended everything, I’m afraid I will get too tearful. My family doesn’t get it, they think I should get my back up , go and just say hello that’s it. Right a emotional Gemini ♊️ can do. Don’t have the answer, pray I can deal with this. Thanks Gayle

    1. Please reread or listen carefully to my blog. You have tried to make amends for what you do not know. But you have tried. It is time for you to ACCEPT what you cannot change. You have tried to reconnect so you have no guilt.Don’t let her stop you from enjoying your mutual friends. Go, be a lady if she passes near you ( do not go up to her) say hello.Take her out of the driver seat and your life. It is better to suffer without her, than with her. She is unkind and ‘you’ are her loss. Not the other way around. You want friends who mirror you. You are a good person. You will survive. There is a positive lesson to take away.It is up to you to search your soul for it. You will figure it out. 🙂 Warmly, Honey

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