February is the month of love. The theme of this story centers around positive (self-love) and negative (narcissism) self-love. Have we gone too far with self-love? Did you know that February 13th is self-love day and that the entire month of January is self-love month!

The younger Baby Boomer generation is known as the Me Generation who went on to produce the ME ME generation. Couple that with life in Elsewhere — self-protection at all costs! Are we living through a ME ME epidemic?

Wouldn’t it be nice to revert back to the day when we gave unto others and ourselves. That is the true definition of self-love. I wish we were living through an Us epidemic instead of a Me one.

The month of February should be the month for mothers and grandmothers to reach out to their adult children and grands and preach the real meaning of self-love. Self-love is not narcissism.

Here are a few thoughts.

THE TRUE MEANING OF SELF-LOVE

I read this in an article: Self-love is the unconditional support, self-care and compassion you give yourself that ultimately results in good health, self-esteem, happiness and well-being.

Personally, I think that self-love means self-care: the regard for one’s well-being spiritually, physically and psychologically. Self-love deepens your positive relationship with the you in you.

Self-Love is:

• Self-respect and self-esteem.
• High value and worth
• Being authentic
• Self-discipline
• Responsibility
• Purpose
• Integrity
• Acceptance
• Taking the High Road
• Self-protection

And self-love is gratitude

NARCISSISM IS NOT SELF-LOVE!

An inflated sense of self combined with a total lack of empathy. These women cannot love themselves. The word ‘self-love’ is often misunderstood or misused, which can lead to confusion about its true meaning and hinder genuine self-care and personal growth. A narcissistic personality loves taking selfies!

Narcissism is exploitation, empathy impairment, and entitlement.

Narcissism is power-oriented and arrogant.

Self love means understanding your worth, practicing self-compassion, and setting healthy boundaries; it is not the same as narcissism, which is rooted in entitlement and lack of empathy.

Reading is another healthy form of self-love, especially when you choose self help books that support personal development and emotional well-being.

A TRUE NARRATIVE

The buzzword ‘self-love’ is on everyone’s lips. It is all about ‘me, me, me’ is the hit phrase. Or, ‘It is time for me.’ In my view, a person who focuses on others, as well as themselves, leads a far happier existence. This is practicing self-love, self-care. A positive attitude towards self-care and challenges enhances mental well-being and helps build resilience. Finding balance between caring for oneself and caring for others is essential for a fulfilling life.

I mentioned self-love is self-protection. This is something I added to my list because of our living conditions in Elsewhere. The journey of self-love is an ongoing process, requiring self-reflection and growth.

I know I am personally obsessed with surviving in America. Have I gone too far with this form of self-love? Maybe. Can I help it? No. And, it is the month of February, Valentine’s Day, the month to think of others. And I do, but not to the extent that I once did. My mind is on survival. The desire to improve oneself and adapt to new circumstances is a key motivator in practicing self-love.

This is scary. I miss that carefree feeling of running out to Papyrus for cards. A store that is now closed in my once beautiful Chicago. I miss running into small boutique shops for gifts for my loved ones. They are now out of business. Now I go into large stores without customers and less inventory and sales personnel standing around twiddling their thumbs. Depressing!!!

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS

Self-awareness is truly the cornerstone of self-love. When we take the time to understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, we open the door to a deeper connection with ourselves. This means recognizing our strengths and weaknesses, and being honest about the emotional patterns that shape our daily lives. By cultivating self-awareness, we become more mindful of our actions and reactions, which allows us to make choices that support our mental health and overall well-being.

With greater self-awareness, we can set healthy boundaries that protect our emotional space and help us maintain a strong sense of self-esteem. It’s about tuning in to how we feel, understanding what triggers us, and recognizing when we need to step back or speak up. This level of awareness empowers us to accept ourselves—flaws and all—and to approach life with a sense of self-acceptance and compassion. When we practice self-awareness, we’re not just living on autopilot; we’re actively shaping our own narrative, making decisions that honor our true selves, and nurturing our mental and emotional well-being.

PROTECTIVE SELF-LOVE AND SELF ESTEEM

And to make matters worse, I am so busy worrying about what I fear is happening in my Country and may happen to my family that I miss things! Like making that phone call to family and friends. And I miss my time buying gifts and cards for Valentine’s Day because I am obsessed with survival. Have I gone too far with this type of self-love? I don’t think so. In many ways, I am a dreamer and in important ways I am a realist.

There has been a reset in the American psyche, a mix of fear and survival because we are beset with a mix of ‘the known and the unknown.’

I think it is ok to practice a protective type of self-love. It is not selfish to want to protect ourselves and those we love from witnessing the ugliness in our world. Self-protection is now more than ever our new reality. This form of self-love will keep us safe.

There is one thing I can do and will do and seldom not do, and that is to promise myself during this month of love to never forget to take the high road.

If you’re not a member of my private FaceBook group, Celebrate Life, I’d love you to join!

THE ROLE OF SELF-CARE

Self-care is not just a buzzword—it’s a vital practice for anyone seeking to build genuine self-love. Taking care of your body, mind, and spirit is an act of self-respect and a declaration of your self-worth. Whether it’s dedicating time to a self care routine, enjoying a walk in nature, or simply pausing to breathe deeply, these small acts of self-care can bring immense joy and happiness into your life.

Prioritizing self-care means listening to your personal needs and honoring them without guilt. It’s about recognizing that your well-being matters, and that taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining a healthy sense of self-esteem and emotional balance. When you nurture your body and mind, you’re better equipped to handle life’s challenges and to show up fully for yourself and others. Remember, self-care is not selfish—it’s a necessary foundation for loving oneself and embracing all the feelings that come with being human.

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Boundaries are not walls; they are guidelines that protect your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. By clearly defining what is acceptable and what is not, you create space for your own desires, needs, and sense of self to flourish.

Healthy boundaries allow you to say “no” to what drains you and “yes” to what nourishes your soul. They help you recognize when to step back from situations or people that compromise your well-being, and when to hold space for what truly matters. Taking responsibility for your own boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-worth, and it encourages others to respect you as well. When you honor your boundaries, you foster a deeper sense of self-love and create more harmonious relationships in your life.

THE POWER OF SELF-COMPASSION

Self-compassion is the gentle art of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a best friend. It means recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and that imperfection is part of the human experience. When you practice self-compassion, you allow yourself to feel, to make mistakes, and to learn without harsh self-judgment or negative self talk.

By showing compassion to yourself, you nurture your mental health and emotional well-being. Self-compassion helps you develop self-awareness and self-acceptance, making it easier to embrace your strengths and weaknesses with an open heart. It’s about understanding that you are worthy of love and care, even when life feels challenging. Incorporating self-compassion into your daily life—through self care, gentle words, or simply holding space for your feelings—can transform your relationship with yourself, leading to greater self-esteem, self-love, and a sense of peace in your own life.

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD 12 MONTHS OF THE YEAR. THAT IS PRACTICING SELF LOVE

Personally, I do not like confrontations with people. I prefer taking the high road just as I prefer gazing at a calm sea. I don’t like to bend down and lower myself — especially to people who throw stones. Only a small part of the population are stone throwers. The majority of us prefer to come from reason, from rationality.

Do remember that everyone has personal viewpoints and at times, is tainted by their personal clogged filters. If there are people in your life whose filters are too clogged and take the low road, clean house. This is self-love.

I do believe when taking the high road that, one gets further. Kindness counts. Unkindness does not. And, one’s good will always brings joy ‘unto themselves.’  This is self-love.

February is the month of love. February 14th is Valentine’s Day.  It is the day to express your love to others. It is a day to share lessons with your adult children and grands on the true meanings of positive self-love qualities.

Valentine’s Day and the month of February is the day and month to forgive, forget and look inside yourself. Examine your behavior and make some changes if you are inclined.

If you can accomplish this feat, and it is a feat, you are gifting yourself self-love — a personal Valentine to yourself. So, make it a point to study what taking the high road is really all about.

To refresh your memory, taking the high road means doing the right thing even when it is not easy. In other words, let the other person take the low road. That person has probably wronged many people. And, eventually, their road will be far tougher than yours.

You have several days to put your thoughts together and gift your family your perspective on the meaning and message of positive self-care.

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What are your thoughts about the idea of self-love today? Have we taken it too far? Not far enough? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!