A grandmother’s love for her grandchildren can be a surprising and precious gift later in life, bringing unexpected joy and deepening the meaning of family.

When I look at my life, I have few regrets. I have a wonderful life. What would I wish for right now if I could wish upon a star? I would wish to go back in time and spend more together time with my grands throughout the year and especially during all of the holidays. I often think back to when I first held you as a baby, feeling the warmth and comfort of our family bond—a connection that continues to bring comfort throughout life. Unfortunately, we are separated by miles, states, and at times, countries and, lest we forget, complications.

When a Grandma Is So Far Away…

Our family has never had the pleasure of living close to one another. As children, you are all growing up in different houses, which makes it harder for me to nurture and guide you closely as your grandmother. I have never had the joy of driving a short distance or walking with my pooch to any of my grandchildren’s homes to take them to Dairy Queen or buy jeans. Why? They all moved away. At this time they are living in New York, Texas, suburbs of Illinois, Arizona, California, and Indiana.

When I wanted us to be ‘family,’ it seemed there were always interferences of one kind or another. Sometimes I wish we had a house where the whole family could gather, a shared space that would make it easier to connect and create memories together. When one family member could come, another could not: Some were traveling, some couldn’t travel, and some did not want to travel. Some were going to another family member’s home, some were going to a friend’s home, someone was sick, and someone was not talking to someone else. You get the gist.

THE LUXURIOUS ART OF A HANDWRITTEN THANK YOU

A Grandma’s Wish

I just wish I had more memories to hold onto. And, I wish my grandchildren had several more lasting memories, too, because memories tell the story of the relationship between two people: Grandmother and grandchild. The roles of mom and dad are so important in shaping these family memories and values, passing down love, wisdom, and traditions through generations. It is a bond of love and respect that ties them together for eternity. I know every grandmother is a gift. She should be savored. She is precious… unfortunately in many families, from afar.

I’d like to share one vivid memory that I have. Once, my ultimate concierge and I had a 15-hour flight from LAX to Singapore, Indonesia, and I remember thinking about my grands. This was during the winter holidays. They were all on my mind in part because, as I was packing and racing through airports to catch a flight, I was thinking of Hanukkah and wanted each of them to know I was thinking of them. So, I sent text messages, of course. They sent texts back wishing my ultimate concierge and me a happy Hanukkah, too. As a teacher not just in school, but in life, I hope to pass on lessons and wisdom that will guide my grandchildren as they grow.

Grandmothers often reflect on their relationships with their grandchildren and the memories they wish to create together.

My Teary-Eyed Confession

I remember, after take-off, as darkness set in, that I got teary-eyed thinking about the loss of so many special times we missed sharing, generally caused by distance. Tears are a natural response to missing these moments, reminding us how much we care. We’ve missed out on Sunday night dinners, impromptu ice cream runs, long talks around the fireplace. The excitement, pride, and happiness of watching them get awards, play sports, or perform in a play. Maybe just walking our pooches together (all of my grands are pet lovers, darlings). The value in face-to-face, secret talks, and help from grandma is something I cherish deeply. I especially miss seeing your unique smile and the warmth it brings—special moments happen even when we are apart, and I hold onto those memories.

Writing these letters helps bridge the emotional gap created by distance, allowing me to remain a part of your life. It nurtures trust and lets you know how much I care, even when we can’t be together in person.

I know many of you grandmothers can relate to my feelings and my thoughts.

Love is not lessened by distance, yet it is difficult to love from afar.

The Memories of My Grandmothers

With my teary-eyed confession behind me, I began to think of my relationship with my grandmother. I found hope in the remembrance of how she impacted my life, even though she too was a long distance away. I am thankful for the spiritual light and wisdom passed down from previous generations, which continues to guide and inspire me.

My mother’s parents lived in Chicago. I grew up in Kankakee by the Sea. I lived 60 miles away from my grandmother. How often did I see her? Not often, but she left her mark.

I have my memories of our relationship, our close bond. I have stories in my head of our times together. The lessons, imparted by her, are stored in my head. To this day I make sure to put a ‘pinch of sugar’ in the pot of boiling water with fresh corn on the cob. Grandmothers help us discover and embrace our unique gifts, and they expect us to shine our light in the world. Through their words, they encourage lifelong learning and curiosity, passing on life lessons and values that transcend differences in religion, race, and geography.

She has a sweetness that I can still feel now. And a deep, unending love for me that was unmistakable from near or far. I pray that my grands have those type of memories of me. I know you do, too. Grandmothers often wish to leave a legacy of encouragement, wisdom, and the importance of love and support, reminding us that these are essential for growth and happiness.

My other grandmother lived in Kankakee by the Sea, but spent the winter months in Florida and traveled often. It did not matter. I adored her. She was sugar and spice and everything nice though not my biological grandmother.

But did I care? Not one bit.

She earned my adoration because of her loving manner and how she handled her role in a blended family. She had 14 grandchildren that were not biologically her own! I was one of the 14. We all loved her. She was as much a part of us as she would have been if her blood ran through us.

Staying Connected Through Technology

In today’s world, where families are often spread across cities, states, or even continents, technology has become a wonderful tool for keeping the bonds of love strong. As a lifelong learner, I’ve discovered so many great ideas for using technology to create wonderful memories with my grandchildren, even when we can’t be together in person. It’s truly so much fun to explore new ways to connect, share stories, and enjoy reading about each other’s lives, no matter the distance.

For the younger generation, technology is second nature—they were born into a world where video calls and instant messages are part of daily life. As a grandma, I’ve found that embracing these tools allows me to share in their world, bringing a sense of joy and togetherness to our relationship. Regular video calls on platforms like Zoom, Skype, or FaceTime let us see each other’s smiles, hear about school, and even share a laugh or two. These moments, though virtual, are filled with the same warmth and happiness as any family gathering.

Social media and messaging apps are also wonderful for staying in touch. I love sharing photos from family gatherings, sending quick updates, or even just a funny story from my day. It’s a simple way to create a sense of community and keep the lines of conversation open, making sure my grandchildren always feel connected to family, no matter where life takes them.

And while technology offers so many new ways to connect, I still believe in the magic of a handwritten note. There’s something so meaningful about taking the time to write a letter, sharing your hopes, dreams, and wisdom with your grandchildren. A handwritten note can become a treasured keepsake, a reminder of the love and respect that ties our family together. It’s a beautiful way to teach the value of kindness, thoughtfulness, and the importance of creating lasting memories.

Technology also gives us the chance to share our knowledge and life lessons in creative ways. Whether it’s recording a video message, starting a family blog, or even creating a little online course to teach a favorite recipe or craft, these are great ideas for passing on wisdom and creating new traditions. It’s a way to show our grandchildren that learning never stops, no matter your age, and that every moment can be filled with discovery and fun.

Sometimes, I like to surprise my grandchildren with a care package or a small gift ordered online—just a little something to remind them that grandma is thinking of them. Planning future visits or virtual family gatherings can also bring a sense of excitement and anticipation, filling our hearts with hope and happiness.

No matter how far apart we may be, technology helps us create a sense of pride and belonging, reminding our grandchildren of the value of family and the strength of our community. By embracing new ideas and staying open to learning, we can continue to nurture our relationships, share our stories, and fill our lives—and theirs—with joy, wisdom, and love.

Two Grandmothers, One Love

Two Grandmothers. One lived far away. The other was not biological. Both are often in my mind, and both will always hold a special place in my heart. I am so thankful for the friendships and connections formed through family, and for the love and support they provided. Letters can serve as lasting memories for grandchildren to read in the future and are gentle reminders to cherish relationships and the bonds we share.

I will say adieu for now. My last thought, as I sit here, reminiscing, is that I hope my grands feel about me the way I feel about my grandmothers. Sharing personal stories in letters can make them more engaging and meaningful for grandchildren, helping to pass on wisdom and life experiences.

I wish I could tell both of my grandmothers, at this very minute, how much I love them, how much they taught me, how much I respect them.

I would tell them how high of a bar they set and how, every day, in every way, I try to be as warm, kind, loving and impactful as they were. Though I can no longer go to them for advice, but I will always find wisdom in the legacies and memories they left behind.

The bottom line is, darling, make sure your grands know how much their grandma loves them, there is nothing better than a handwritten note. Sending regular letters can help maintain a sense of connection, inspire your grandchildren to pursue personal growth, and encourage them to make the world a better place. I wrote a book, as a matter of fact, that has prompts for you to share your story with your grandchildren for a lasting legacy of love, you can purchase it here.

Are you leaving your mark with your grands? Please share your methods with me and our community in the comments below.

Honey Good is a mentor for women, empowering them to live vibrant and visible lives after 50. Please join her in her private Facebook groups, Women over 50: Celebrate Visibility, Widow Support Group: Women Healing Together, and Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong. To inquire about working with Honey, please email her at collabs@honeygood.com.