My Darlings, please enjoy this wonderful article by Paula Marie Usrey. Paula founded Boomer Best U to promote positive aging and to fight age discrimination. In this article, she speaks about rethinking traditions during the holiday season to focus on what is most meaningful to us. 

Shortly before Halloween, Costco and other retailers started promoting their holiday merchandise. As hard as I tried to ignore it, I felt mounting anxiety as I thought about the additional shopping, cleaning, and cooking I would be doing during the next couple of months.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy opportunities to get together with friends and family during the holiday season. But I also know that as women—and especially as women over fifty—we take on more of the work required to create that ‘holiday magic’ our families and friends so enjoy. Family traditions play a significant role in shaping our holiday experiences, and this led me to rethink some of the traditions my family practiced to make the holidays more meaningful. As you read, I encourage you to look forward and consider how you might reimagine your own holiday traditions.

Introduction to Holiday Traditions

The holiday season is a special time when family members, friends, and even extended family come together to celebrate cherished holiday traditions. For many of us, these traditions are woven into the fabric of our lives—whether it’s decorating cookies with the kids, gathering around the Christmas tree, or sharing laughter with best friends over a huge batch of holiday treats. Gift giving, especially the exchange of Christmas gifts, has long been a way to show our love and appreciation for those we hold dear.

Yet, as the years go by, many families are starting to embrace the idea of shifting our mindset about gift-giving and rethinking what truly makes the holidays meaningful. While giving gifts can be a beautiful expression of our love language, the focus on material things and the pressure to find the perfect present can sometimes overshadow the real joy of the season. More and more, people are realizing that the best gift we can give is to spend time with loved ones—offering our time, our attention, and the memories we create together. Spending Christmas with the whole family, sharing stories, and simply enjoying each other’s company can be far more meaningful than any item wrapped in shiny paper.

In recent years, great ideas for more sustainable and thoughtful holiday experiences have emerged. Some families are choosing to draw names and give just one gift, making the exchange more personal and less stressful. Others are shopping at thrift stores or using eco-friendly wrapping paper to reduce waste and make their celebrations kinder to the planet. These new traditions not only help us save money, but also encourage us to focus on what really matters—connection, gratitude, and joy.

As we celebrate Christmas and other holidays, it’s important to remember that not everyone has a large family or a bustling house full of guests. Many of us, or people we know, may feel lonely or disconnected during this season. That’s why it’s so important to find alternative ways to reach out, showing appreciation and including others in our celebrations as meaningful gestures. Whether it’s inviting a friend to join your family dinner, organizing a gift exchange with neighbors, or simply spending time with someone who might otherwise be forgotten, these small acts can make a world of difference.

This holiday time, let’s start rethinking our traditions and focus on what brings us the most hope and joy. By prioritizing love, togetherness, and meaningful experiences over the number of presents under the tree, we can create memories that last a lifetime. With a little creativity and a lot of heart, we can make this season truly merry and bright—not just for ourselves, but for everyone whose lives we touch.

Rethinking One Long-Standing Holiday Tradition

Many of us grew up seeing our mothers and grandmothers busily assuming most of the holiday preparations, regardless of whether they worked outside the home. Even as we entered the workforce, sometimes working fifty or more hours a week, we continued to follow in our mothers’ footsteps. We felt compelled to nearly single-handedly create the perfect holiday experiences for others. Often, parents feel responsible for making the holidays special for their children, balancing traditions and expectations. While these traditions are meaningful, it’s easy to lose sight of the original significance of Christmas, such as celebrating Christ’s birth, which can sometimes be overshadowed by the pressures and busyness of modern holiday celebrations.

The additional work around important family occasions stems partially from the cultural belief that women are best suited for, and more willing, to assume the ‘emotional’ labor that tradition has prescribed. Whether partnered or single, women have generally continued to perform the majority of domestic chores in our culture.

For those of us who have attempted to be superwomen, taking care of everything and everyone, we’ve only hurt ourselves. I’ve gotten sick during the holidays, countless times over the years, because of the added stress and lack of sleep. As I’ve aged, I’ve asked myself why I thought I needed to do everything. So much of what I was doing wasn’t important to my family and friends.

Perhaps it is time for those of us who felt we needed to be superwoman to step back and ask what is really important. The past couple of years, I’ve been rethinking traditions and replacing them with what is most meaningful for me, and for others. I decided to make intentional changes, and I encourage you to decide what matters most for your own celebrations. By doing so, I believe we can give ourselves an important gift during the holiday season. We can take care of ourselves by rethinking holiday traditions to identify which are most important, by delegating to others, and by setting aside self-restorative time. Here are some suggestions for getting started:

1. Re-evaluate Holiday Preparation Habits

Some of the extra activities we take on around the holidays help to create important memories and traditions that we don’t want to be lost. For example, when I started making my chocolate cherry bourbon fudge, family members asked me to keep making it. I’m willing to take the time to create my annual fudge because it is something that is appreciated.

However, there are numerous items I’ve cooked and created over the years that no one cares about—yet I’ve dutifully prepared these dishes and treats that have gone uneaten. This is wasteful and makes no sense at all. If you have spent way too much time baking and cooking during past holidays, perhaps re-evaluate how much of that work really matters. Food is central to many traditions, but not every dish or treat is necessary for a meaningful gathering.

Another holiday habit might include the greeting cards that we faithfully send to others over the years. At one point, I realized my husband and I were sending out over 50 cards during the holidays. (Guess who did most of the addressing and actual labor?) Now, we mail no more than five cards. For other greetings we wish to send, we use an inexpensive, animated card service

When it comes to shopping for the holidays, I have also re-evaluated some of my habits. I no longer spend fruitless hours trying to find ‘perfect’ gifts. I believe the most important ‘gift’ I can give family members is to listen to them and to support them in ways that they value. Some people shop for gifts and know the satisfaction of finding the last bag of flour or a needed item during a busy season.

Yes, I will continue to exchange gifts with others. I am learning, however, to ignore advertising pressure that encourages us to spend too much money on meaningless items. According to a 2019 WalletHub survey, over a third of gift recipients plan to return items after the holidays. Interestingly, the most desired gifts were gift cards. While this may seem unconventional, in rethinking holiday traditions, why not let someone choose the gift they most desire? Another way to simplify gift exchanges is by drawing names, which can reduce stress and make gifting more meaningful.

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2. Don’t Hesitate to Delegate Holiday Traditions

When I was young, I remember having family gatherings at my grandmother’s house. She prepared everything in advance. No one could appreciate how much work had gone into the family gathering we all enjoyed. Even though my grandmother was a homemaker, I suspect she would collapse onto her bed after these events. She didn’t ask for help, and I don’t think she got a lot of help.

Whether we are retired or still have careers, it makes no sense to work ourselves into exhaustion. Although I no longer work full-time, I realize that allowing others to help not only makes my life easier, but also makes others feel good about their contributions. As I prepare for family gatherings in our home, I also keep in mind how other family members can help. Sharing preparations for gatherings is truly a gift for ourselves and makes these events even more enjoyable for everyone. When there are many children in the family, delegating tasks and planning ahead can make gatherings less overwhelming and more enjoyable for all.

3. Set Aside Quiet Time

According to the WalletHub survey, the one gift that most people were more willing to pay extra for was simply ‘peace and quiet.’ When we are busier than usual, it is even more important to find a bit of solace. Making time to take a brisk walk or a light jog can do wonders for our stress levels and offer us some quiet time. Alternatively, finding a peaceful place at home to meditate or do some yoga can also help restore our energy. As human beings, we need rest and restoration, not just busy holidays filled with endless tasks.

Some of us may already walk, jog, meditate, or practice yoga to manage stress and enjoy some peace and quiet. When we feel overwhelmed, however, we cut from our schedules the very activities that can help restore us. As we are rethinking holiday traditions, one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves this season is to unplug from all the busyness and soak in quiet, restorative time.

Don’t be afraid to forget the pressure to do everything—focus on what truly matters to you and your loved ones.

Alternatives to Christmas Gifts

As the holiday season approaches, many families are finding themselves rethinking long-held holiday traditions, especially when it comes to gift giving. With the rising cost of living and a growing desire to reduce waste, more of us are searching for alternative ways to celebrate Christmas that don’t revolve around a mountain of presents under the tree. The good news is, there are so many great ideas for making the season meaningful without focusing solely on material things.

One of the most cherished holiday traditions can be as simple as spending time together. Instead of exchanging a pile of Christmas gifts, why not create memories with your family members and friends? Plan a fun day of decorating cookies, organize a holiday movie night, or take the whole family on a festive outing to see the Christmas lights. These shared experiences often become the moments we hold dear long after the wrapping paper has been thrown away.

For families who still want to give gifts, consider setting a dollar amount or drawing names so that each person gives and receives just one gift. This approach not only eases the financial burden but also makes each present more thoughtful and special. Many families have found that shopping at thrift stores or making homemade gifts adds a personal touch and can be a fun, creative way to show appreciation for loved ones. Imagine the joy of receiving a handmade photo album, a batch of homemade cookies, or a unique find from a local shop—these gifts often mean so much more than something picked up in a rush.

Another wonderful alternative is to focus on experiences rather than things. Plan a special outing, like a visit to a local museum, a day of ice skating, or a family hike. Some families have started new traditions, such as cooking a huge batch of a favorite holiday meal together or volunteering as a group to help others in need. These activities not only bring everyone closer but also create lasting memories that outshine any store-bought gift.

If you’re looking for more ideas, consider giving the gift of time—offer to help a friend or family member with household chores, babysitting, or running errands. Make a donation to a charity in someone’s name, or give a gift that encourages learning and fun, like a cooking class or tickets to a concert. The possibilities are endless, and each one is a reminder that the best gifts often come from the heart, not the store.

Ultimately, the holiday season is about celebrating with those we love and making the most of our time together. By starting to rethink our holiday traditions and focusing on what truly matters, we can create a more joyful, meaningful, and memorable holiday experience for everyone. So, whether you’re spending Christmas with your extended family, your best friends, or simply enjoying a quiet moment at home, remember that the greatest gift you can give is your presence. Wishing you and your loved ones a merry Christmas filled with hope, joy, and new traditions to cherish for years to come.

What are your thoughts on ways we can take better care of ourselves during the busy holiday season? Please share in the comments!

 

Paula Marie Usrey founded Boomer Best U to help promote positive aging and fight age discrimination. She has also given a TEDx presentation on how to live your best life at any age. Paula recently retired as an Associate Professor of Communication from Umpqua Community College.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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