Do I have a Christmas tree story for you. One filled with emotion, memory, and meaning. I chose to marry my ultimate concierge in December because I adore the winter holiday season. In my beautiful Chicago, branches and tree trunks glow with sparkling white lights. Menorahs shine from high-rise windows, and storefronts are dressed in their holiday finery.

I cannot help but feel a burst of joy as I walk down Michigan Avenue. Shoppers of all ages fill the streets, holding hands and carrying packages for family and friends. There is one word to describe the city: radiant! When the sun shines, it adds an extra layer of brightness and warmth to the festive atmosphere. December is my favorite month of the year because it holds our holiday traditions, our history, and most importantly, love.

Each holiday season, my mind drifts back to cherished memories and the lessons they carry. I hope you enjoy this true story about my little Jewish daughter and her Christmas tree.

Our Home in Hawaii

Years ago, our family lived in a homey, two-story house on Kahala Avenue in Honolulu, Hawaii. With two dogs, two cats, and two daughters, our home was constantly filled with noise and laughter. Our house was cozy, enhancing the welcoming atmosphere. Folding doors connected the living spaces, creating an open, inviting area where children and guests could move freely and gather.

Our daughters’ numerous friends, of all nationalities and religions, ran in and out of the house, leaving mountains of their flip-flops at the front door. I ran a loose ship, not because I didn’t care about the mess, but rather because I did care. I wanted my girls’ friends to feel welcome at our home. Knowing they were under my watchful eye gave me a sense of ease. So, I made our Kahala home inviting to children.

The Problem

Unfortunately, there was one time of the year when our home was relatively quiet. Christmas. Our family celebrated Hanukkah while our daughter’s friends all celebrated Christmas. This was a problem for one of my daughters and made her feel separated and different from her friends. As a little Jewish girl, she was not a part of the holiday spirit of Christmas and longed to be like the other trees (her friends) who seemed to shine brighter during this season. She hoped that tomorrow she might be included, her heart filled with anticipation for what the next day could bring.

As much as I explained the significance and difference between the two holidays, Hanukkah and Christmas, this daughter of mine would not be consoled. She wanted to be like the rest of her friends and to celebrate Christmas with a tree all aglow with lights and presents underneath, just like the other trees she admired. That longing left a deep ache in her heart. The ache of wanting to fit in.

So began a three-year saga with my little Jewish daughter and her Christmas trees…

A Christmas Tree Story

The first year, my tenacious daughter removed photos from our family album and taped them to the wall in our den in the shape of a Christmas tree! Talk about finding compromise over the holidays! This “picture tree” was affixed very low on the wall, resembling a little tree from classic Christmas stories, with real presents she had made, even for our dogs and cats, lying on the carpet beneath the tree. I could not believe my eyes! In her fresh youth and young life, she found creative ways to rejoice in thy youth, expressing her innocence and hope through this imaginative act.

We lit the Hanukkah candles that year with these photographs of us smiling and holding hands in the background shaped like a tree. We told our traditional Hanukkah stories, sang our Hanukkah songs and passed out presents. All the while, I was smiling to myself. I allowed my daughter to leave her “picture tree” on the wall,  praising her creativity, but again trying to help her understand her four-thousand-year-old Jewish heritage.

The Second Year

As the Christmas tree saga continued, the next year I was in for a bigger surprise. One evening as I drove into our driveway, I noticed red, green and white twinkling Christmas lights flashing on and off! My daughter stood on a ladder inside and was decorating our large, indoor palm trees to look like Christmas trees!

Again, I was speechless. With a smile, I thought to myself, “This daughter of mine has determination, resilience and spunk. Great qualities if channeled properly!” I remember walking into our living room smiling and laughing, carrying Hanukkah presents and our Menorah that held eight candles. Jewish families around the world would light one candle each night, for eight nights, to celebrate the miracle reflecting this holy time.

I explained to my daughter that differing religious beliefs did not set her apart from her friends, but rather made her the unique individual whom others loved. To put her at ease, I suggested she invite as many friends as she wanted the next night to watch us light our Menorah. I would tell her friends the story of Hanukkah and she could hand out little gifts. She was thrilled, as was I, when she happily agreed!

Hanukkah Celebrations

The next evening turned into a great night for everyone. As the festivities began, children rushed into the living room, eager to see the Menorah and join the celebration. We shared splendid stories that filled the room with joy and warmth, making the celebration even more memorable. When I finished telling the story of Hanukkah, the children clapped with excitement, their faces glowing with happiness. I could tell by my daughter’s body language how happy and proud she felt as she lit the Menorah candles. This was her first experience in realizing how important it is to be true to yourself.

Everyone was happy! The other children asked me questions, and everyone loved their little presents. I served potato latkes, a traditional Jewish pancake made with grated potatoes. All seemed well…

The Little Tree That Glowed With Understanding

I thought the “Saga of the Christmas Trees” had been put to rest following our success with the Hanukkah party the year prior. I was mistaken, however, because the next year…

One night, I went upstairs to tuck my daughter into bed and kiss her goodnight and to my surprise there was a small fir tree, a tiny, live Christmas tree on her nightstand, all lit up and aglow with lights flickering on and off, decorated with pretty toys that added a joyful, festive touch.

Thinking, “Here we go again!” I smiled inwardly as I sat down on the edge of her bed. My daughter looked up at me with her huge, green eyes and said, “I am proud of my heritage, Mom. I am proud of who I am. I just love how happy everyone is during the holidays and I also love my little, live tree with its flickering lights.”

Smiling broadly, I responded with tears in my eyes,  “I understand, my darling girl. I totally understand. For you see, the holidays are my favorite time of the year too with the joy of giving, laughter, and family togetherness.” And with that, my daughter and I gave one another an extra-long hug. As I turned off her light, my last image was of my little Jewish girl lying next to the small fir tree, her tiny Christmas tree, all her own, all aglow in its special place next to her bed.

And the next year…there was no tree.

One of my most cherished holiday messages with my Ultimate Concierge from five years ago. While the video was created then, its message still resonates just as deeply today.

Happy Holidays!

As Hanukkah candles glow and Christmas lights twinkle all around us, I am reminded that the true spirit of the holidays is not found in objects or items that represent the holidays, but in love, understanding, and making room for one another’s hearts.

This season invites us to listen more closely, soften our edges, and meet those we love exactly where they are. May your holidays be filled with light in all its forms, with faith, family, and compassion guiding your way. From my heart to yours, I wish you a season of warmth, reflection, and love!