I did not realize that everyone has been lethargic living in Elsewhere. I knew I was. And, now I realize everyone feels as I do. It is an awful feeling to push yourself into doing something when you lack desire. We are in need of a strong adrenaline rush to motivate us to move forward. We all want to feel visible again. Many women experience being invisible as you age, and this is a common phenomenon that affects older women, especially those in their 50s and beyond. The extent to which women feel invisible as they age can be profound, impacting their sense of self-worth and belonging. The catch 22 of life in Elsewhere and invisibility is that many women over 50+ feel emotionally invisible because of age

FACING EMOTIONAL INVISIBILITY

Have you ever found yourself feeling invisible as you reach a certain age? You’re not alone. So many women experience this sense of fading into the background as they get older, and it can take a real toll on self-esteem and self-confidence. The world sometimes seems to look right past us, as if our wisdom and experience no longer matter. This invisible woman syndrome is a real phenomenon, but it’s not an inevitable part of aging. In fact, it’s often a reflection of society’s attitudes, not our true worth.

As women age, it’s easy to lose sight of our authentic self, especially when we feel disconnected from the world and from our own sense of purpose. The result can be a spiral into self-pity, a loss of self-awareness, and a shrinking sense of self-worth. But here’s the truth: you have the power to stay connected, to nurture your self-esteem, and to live life as a visible, vibrant woman at any age. By embracing self-care, building self-awareness, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can reclaim your place in the world and feel visible again. Age is just a number—your spirit and your sense of self are what truly count.

LIVING ON MY TERMS

Last week my desire to live my life on my terms returned. I don’t recall what jump-started my engine, maybe anger or feeling in a repressive rut, but I do recall what I thought, “The hell with Elsewhere! I am done letting others control my life. In 2022, I’m going to live and feel visible again.” Feeling relevant starts from within, and reclaiming that sense of importance is essential to truly being seen.

I am going to be the most visible woman I can aspire to be. I am going to travel, read, get a tattoo, learn to use false eyelashes from one of my younger friends, wear red nail polish and lipstick, etc… This year, I am going to be fierce about everything I do. I choose to spend my time intentionally on activities that foster my visibility and self-worth.

If you, too, are looking to update your look, check out this post on Trendy Haircuts for Women Over 50. Or if you’re ready to embrace the grey, this is a great post on adjusting your makeup when you decide to go grey.

I am going to put some sparkle back into my life. My age is just a number. To me, mental age is what counts. My mind is my barometer; my forecaster. It determines my attitude, my circumstances, and my opinions. The way I speak to myself shapes my confidence and visibility. I think to myself, “Don’t lose it. Use it!” I also spend time connecting with others and reflecting on my goals, knowing these moments are vital for growth.

Living on my own terms means turning my aspirations into reality through intentional action. Hope for the future motivates me to stay visible and continue moving forward.

And that is what I would like you to do, sweet reader of mine.

A VISIBLE WOMAN

My vivre for living suddenly came roaring back. OMG, I felt reborn. Yesterday, the first thing I did, ( after making lox and bagels for my Ultimate Concierge!) was to take a walk through my closet; a closet I have barely touched in almost two years! There was no need because where was I going?! As I walked through my closet, I remembered how I felt as a girl—full of excitement and confidence in my style, so different from the self-doubt that can come with age. Society often values being young, and that impacts how visible we feel as we get older. The concept of youth is so often equated with being noticed and validated, making it easy to feel overlooked as we age. My Ultimate Concierge laughed as he watched me and said, “Do you think you have enough shoes?” I answered smiling, “Yes, and I am going to start wearing all of them again!” His noticing my shoes reminded me how important it is to be noticed—it truly affects how I see myself.

So, if you let your closet ‘just exist’ it is a good idea to start there. Your closet defines your outer beauty and your style, an important part of your feeling like a visible woman. Taking an interest again in ‘your look’ is a healthy starting point. Here are a few ideas: try a new hairstyle, experiment with bold accessories, or refresh your makeup routine. Being around younger girls can sometimes highlight feelings of invisibility, but it can also inspire us to reclaim our own vibrancy.

But, feeling visible is far more than an outer look. It is you in you. It stems from your emotions. To be truly heard by others, to have someone listen and value your words, is just as vital to feeling visible as being seen.

We come from different walks of life. Many women after the age of 50+ feel invisible. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is usually brought on as women age. I know this is a fact because of conversations I have had with several women.

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

A woman can be educated with many degrees, have a successful career, or find fulfillment in a meaningful job or volunteer work. She can be a loving and admired wife, mom, grandmother, and world traveler. Relationships with children and grandchildren also evolve as you age, offering new opportunities for connection and purpose. Even with all of these accolades, she can feel invisible. It is part of the aging process. Remember, you are a valuable person, worthy of respect and self-love, regardless of age or accomplishments.

I contend this does not have to happen. First of all, think of age as just a number.

If you did not know your biological age, ask yourself what your age would be. Your answer would probably be, at least 10 years younger. So, dear reader, forget your biological age and concentrate on your emotional age.

Put passion and contribution back into your life. Passion and contributing to society does not end at 50+, 60, 70, 80 or 90 years of age. Sometimes, putting passion back means stepping outside your comfort zone to try new things and grow in unexpected ways.

Wellness is a marvelous way to feel visible, not invisible. I can state this with conviction. For almost two years I stopped my consistent workout routine. I did a reset about three months ago. Pilates, boxing, mindful stretching and balance, and belly dancing. I work out five days a week. I am walking taller. Smiling more broadly. My energy level is high. I am on a high from exercise. Taking time to rest and sit quietly for reflection and self-care is just as important as staying active.

BUILDING RESILIENCE

Resilience is the secret ingredient that helps so many women move beyond feeling invisible and step boldly into a new chapter of life. When you feel invisible, it’s easy to let self-doubt creep in, but building resilience means choosing to see challenges as opportunities for growth. It’s about focusing on your strengths, celebrating your achievements, and believing in your ability to adapt and thrive—no matter your age.

Many women have found that the moment they decide to take more risks, try new things, or pursue long-held passions, their sense of invisibility begins to fade. Whether it’s learning new skills, joining a club, or volunteering for a cause close to your heart, these actions can reignite your sense of purpose and help you feel more positive about yourself and your place in the world. Remember, feeling invisible is not a sign of weakness—it’s a call to re-evaluate, reinvent, and rediscover the vibrant woman you truly are.

CREATING A SUPPORT NETWORK

One of the most powerful ways to overcome the feeling of being invisible is to create a strong support network. When you surround yourself with positive, like-minded women, you’re reminded that you’re not alone in your feelings—and that your experiences matter. Building connections with others who understand and uplift you can transform isolation into a sense of belonging.

There are so many ways to connect: join a book club, attend a local yoga class, or participate in a group that shares your interests. Online communities can also be a wonderful source of encouragement and friendship. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or even a therapist if you need extra support. By creating these connections, you’ll find that your feelings of invisibility begin to fade, replaced by a renewed sense of community and positivity.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE

Self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity, especially for women who feel invisible as they age. Prioritizing your own well-being is a powerful way to boost self-esteem and remind yourself that you are worthy of love, attention, and care. When you take time for yourself, whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or simply enjoying a favorite hobby, you send a message to yourself and the world that you matter.

Try incorporating activities that bring you joy and peace into your daily routine. Maybe it’s a walk in nature, a creative project, or a quiet moment with a good book. These moments of self-care help to reduce stress, increase your sense of self-worth, and cultivate a positive outlook. The more you nurture yourself, the more visible you’ll feel—not just to others, but to yourself. Remember, you are deserving of care, respect, and happiness at every age.

TAKE A CHANCE

I know moving to a new city or neighborhood sounds like a crazy idea. How can moving connect with feeling visible again? Easy peasy! Here is a true story.

My girlfriend, Joyce, lived with her husband in Manhattan. One day she told her husband she felt invisible. She observed she was no longer noticed when she walked down Madison or 5th Avenue. She knew it was her age. They moved to Palm Springs, a retirement mecca, and she bloomed. She used her head. And, dear reader, she had guts. She wanted to live a visible life. And so she did.

Be curious. A curious woman never ages. If you can travel, travel. If you don’t want to travel, watch marvelous documentaries. Go back to school and get certified and even consider going back to teaching. With any of these steps, you cannot help feeling empowerment, agelessness. Visibility.

Moreover, intimate relationships are very important. Loneliness creates invisibility. Erase boundaries. Open yourself to others. Visualize your world with people, pets, goldfish, whatever. “No man is an Island. No man stands alone.” You don’t need an army. You need both ‘special’ and ‘casual’ interactions. Having a supportive friend or nurturing friendships can make a significant difference in how visible and confident you feel. In many cases, women complain about being overlooked or ignored as they age, and more women are experiencing these feelings of invisibility, especially after 50. Society can sometimes ignore older women, making it even more important to surround yourself with people who make you feel respected and valued. For some, becoming an empty nester can lead to a loss of purpose and visibility, but staying involved in activities and communities helps maintain connection and relevance. Not everyone wants to be highly visible or involved, and that’s perfectly okay—personal choice matters. In certain situations, such as social gatherings or even shopping, women may feel more invisible, but meaningful relationships and involvement can help counteract these moments. Building strong connections and feeling respected in your relationships is key to leading meaningful, authentic lives at any age.

Involving yourself in the above allows you to embrace life.

My definition of a visible woman:

A visible woman has a positive perspective on life. She comes to understand that feeling visible begins from within. It is her emotional makeup that makes her beautiful at every age. For an older woman, embracing visibility means acknowledging her worth and refusing to let society’s perceptions make her feel invisible. Her willpower, her resilience, her loving manner. Her curiosity, her giving back, her self-respect, her gratitude, and the ability to be fierce in all her undertakings. Connecting with and mentoring younger women can help bridge generational gaps and affirm the value of every woman’s experience. It is the difference between being dead and being alive.

Above all, dear reader, live on your own terms, stay curious, and stay visible. My advice: do not let worry about your appearance or age diminish your confidence—authenticity and self-acceptance are your greatest strengths.

How do you stay visible? Let’s start a discussion in the comments. I love hearing from you!

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