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4 Tips On How to Date After a Divorce

4 Tips On How to Date After a Divorce

It’s never easy to rejoin the dating pool after a divorce or a long time away. A lengthy period off from being single can make us fearful of the next step for our dating future. And dating after 50? We have friends who seem to do it so easily. Yet we add unfair pressure to ourselves when we think about the notion of dating.

This blog post offers tips and personal insights for women dating after divorce, providing valuable guidance for those navigating new relationships and experiences.

It’s important to realize that there are fewer self-imposed barriers for empowered women. There are new opportunities for women after divorce to find new excitement and even new relationships. It’s about motivating your dating self and understanding what you truly want at this healthy, vibrant age. Luckily, there are a few tips that can help you with dating after a divorce. Understanding dating etiquette is also essential when re-entering the dating world after divorce.

Building Up Emotional Strength

If you’re just getting out of a divorce, then it may be a particularly tough time getting back into the dating world. You may first want to wait until you’ve built up the emotional strength to date again. There is no rush. Waiting about a year after legally divorced is what most experts recommend, although this could be different for you. Signing divorce papers can be an emotional milestone, marking a significant step in your healing process and helping you move forward.

Building up strength for your emotions is about detachment from your previous marriage. Before you start dating again, it’s important to address any emotional baggage you may be carrying from your past relationship. This means focusing on the present-day and doing your best to “move away” from that period of emotional dependence that you had with your former spouse. You’ll want to concentrate on forming new habits, engaging in new day-to-day routines, and creating new interests for yourself that you possibly didn’t have the opportunity to do when married before. (We’re talking about one now, aren’t we?) Reflecting on the lessons learned from past marriages and understanding why your marriage ended can help you grow and make better choices in future relationships.

Make sure that you concentrate on the various forms of emotional support you have. Reach out to friends, family, therapists, or other forms of emotional care who have supported you throughout the divorce process. Taking on this emotional task is not quick or easy. But building emotional strength will help you feel confident as you move forward in your lives. It’s important to remember that you’re a powerful and independent woman who has already gotten through the first step. And that you deserve the chance to create a positive future for your dating self.

Taking Charge of Your Decisions

We certainly had some fun back in our teens and twenties. Getting the chance to be romantically free and embrace new experiences was a breath of fresh air. However, we probably didn’t always make the best decisions when it came to our relationships. When re-entering the dating world, it’s important to consider the best course of action that aligns with your current values and intentions.

Now that we’re single again, it’s essential to make a mental divide between then and now. A USA Today survey asked singles 50 and older about their dating life. 60 percent responded by saying that they make better decisions about dating compatibility today than when they were younger. It’s also important not to compare new dates to your last relationship, as this can hinder your ability to form genuine connections.

What can we take from this? To start, when looking for the right person to date (whether online or in-person), be clear to both them and to yourself about what you’re looking for. Reflecting on past experiences can help you prepare for healthier future relationships by understanding what truly matters to you. Know what characteristics, manners, communication styles, and other traits are important to you. Establishing dating boundaries is also crucial to protect your emotional well-being and ensure your needs are met. Have a positive mindset regarding what you’re looking to learn about him. This period of discovery is a healthy chance to communicate openly and have your conversation flow in the direction that you want.

Another idea to keep in mind is that being open-minded about who you date can lead to new discoveries and unexpected connections.

Finally, as you move forward, focus on identifying potential dates who align with your values and intentions for a meaningful relationship.

Conversational Communication

It’s easy, especially if you’re using an online dating app, to let a dating conversation partner take control of the dialogue. We all know that men can sometimes talk about themselves way too much, to the point of allowing the entire discussion to go to waste. At that point, what have either of you gained? Remember, each of your dates is an opportunity to learn, grow, and discover more about yourself and what you want in a relationship.

Ensure that you are both communicating at a conversational level. Practicing active listening is essential for building a genuine connection during your conversations. Share information about yourself that you want him to know. If you’re interested in him, ask him questions about topics that you’re keen to find out. Take time to reflect on the types of people you’ve dated in the past and how those experiences shape your current approach to dating.

Women are masters of communication. If you’re out on a date and it’s going well, show enthusiasm with laughter or a passionate smile. Make it exciting by talking about subjects you personally enjoy. That way, you are also both getting to know one another in an entertaining way. After all, dating after 50 is still supposed to be an enjoyable experience. You may have talked about your ex in previous relationships, but now is the time to focus on building new connections and avoid letting those old conversations dominate your current dates.

Also, an added tip: don’t complain about your ex too much on your date. You must be honest, but this is a topic that could eliminate any positive vibe that your conversation has.

Expanding Your Possibilities

Relationships are about commitment. Having just come out of a long-term relationship, you know all about that. Make sure that you’re not putting too much pressure on yourself by looking for another relationship right away, as that may be a sign that you’re looking for a short-term crutch rather than a healthy, new connection.

It’s important not to put added stress onto ourselves when it comes to dating. There’s no unwritten rule that states that you should jump back into a long-term relationship immediately. In fact, as previously mentioned, this would have adverse effects on your mental health. Dating is all about connecting with potential partners, finding common interests, and sharing your experiences–all in a wholesome way. Take the opportunity to meet people through various social activities and online platforms, which can help you gradually build new connections.

To do so, think about expanding possibilities when it comes to who you want to date and which community you can find them in. Reconnecting with or expanding your social circles can open up opportunities to meet new people through friends, acquaintances, or community groups. Consider what you want in a new partner and how you would introduce a love interest to your kids if you have them. Utilize online dating apps like eHarmony, Match.com, and Hinge, which are recommended for dating after a divorce. Look into creative communities like cooking or artistic groups to have an exciting date, as well as meet new friends. There are many single men in the dating scene, and interacting with other daters can help you understand different perspectives and intentions. Be clear about your intentions regarding second marriages, as this can help you and your potential partner align your relationship goals. Expanding your possibilities is about having an open mindset, while also having a bit of fun along the way with your potential partner.

It’s always tricky coming out of a long-term relationship, and even more so after a divorce. Re-entering the dating game can feel overwhelming, so remember to trust your instincts and spot red flags early on to protect your emotional well-being. But the dating clock never stops, and every woman carries with her a unique beauty that deserves to resonate. With these helpful tips, we’re confident that you can motivate your dating self and meet your next romantic partner.

Remember, the most important thing is how your new partner makes you feel—emotional compatibility and mutual respect should always come first.

Navigating Online Dating

Stepping into the world of online dating after a divorce can feel like entering a whole new universe. With so many dating apps and websites at your fingertips, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices and the fast pace of the dating game. But remember, this is your opportunity to start dating on your own terms and find a serious relationship that truly fits your life and values.

When you’re ready to create your online dating profile, take a moment to reflect on your past relationships and what you’ve learned from your previous marriage. Be honest and authentic in your profile—let your personality, interests, and hopes for a healthy relationship shine through. Clearly state what you’re looking for in a potential partner, and don’t be afraid to mention your deal breakers. This will help you avoid making the same mistakes and attract people who are genuinely a good match for you.

As you begin talking with new people on dating apps, take things at your own pace. There’s no need to rush into meeting someone in person right away. Use messaging and phone calls to get a sense of whether your potential partner shares your values, interests, and relationship goals. Pay attention to how you feel during these conversations—do you feel comfortable, respected, and excited to learn more? If you notice any red flags or something just feels off, trust your instincts and move on. Your safety and well-being are always the most important thing.

When you do decide to meet for a first date, choose a public place where you feel safe and at ease. Keep the conversation light and fun, focusing on getting to know this new person rather than rehashing your past or talking about your ex. Remember, the point of online dating is to find a healthy, fulfilling relationship—not just to fill a void or prove a point. Be open to new experiences, but also stay true to what you want in a life partner.

It’s normal to encounter a few bumps along the way in the online dating world. Not every date will lead to a serious relationship, and that’s okay. Each experience is a chance to learn more about yourself, what you want, and what you don’t want in future relationships. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks or mistakes—see them as valuable lessons that will help you spot red flags and make better choices moving forward.

Above all, be patient with yourself and the process. Finding a good match takes time, and it’s perfectly fine to take breaks or step back if you need to. With honesty, self-reflection, and a positive outlook, you’ll become more confident in navigating the dating pool and more likely to find a partner who truly complements your life. So embrace the adventure, trust your instincts, and remember: the right person is out there, and you deserve a relationship that makes you feel happy, respected, and loved.

First Date Tips

When it comes to dating after divorce, the first date can feel both thrilling and a little intimidating—especially if you haven’t been in the dating world for some time. Whether you’re using dating apps or meeting someone through friends, it’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of excitement and nerves as you start dating again. The good news? With a bit of preparation and the right mindset, your first date can be a positive step toward a healthy relationship and maybe even a serious relationship down the road.

Before you jump into the dating pool, take a moment for self-reflection. Think about your past relationship and the divorce process, and give yourself credit for the healing process you’ve already begun. This is your chance to learn from past mistakes and focus on what you truly want in a future partner. Building self-esteem and feeling confident in who you are will help you attract a good match and enjoy your dating life.

As you prepare for your first date, consider what you’re looking for in a life partner. Make a mental list of your must-haves and deal breakers—these are the qualities that matter most to you and the red flags you want to avoid. This clarity will help you spot a potential partner who aligns with your values and avoid repeating the same mistakes from your previous marriage.

On the day of your first date, keep things light and enjoyable. Choose a public place where you feel comfortable, and let a friend or family member know your plans—this is an important thing for your peace of mind. Try to steer the conversation away from your ex or past relationships, and instead focus on getting to know your date as a new person. Share your interests, new hobbies, and what you’re passionate about, and listen with genuine curiosity to your date’s stories.

Pay attention to how you feel during the date. Do you feel good? Are you having fun? Trust your instincts—if something feels wrong or you notice red flags, it’s okay to end the date early. Remember, you’re not obligated to continue if you don’t feel comfortable or sense that it’s not a good candidate for a second date.

After the date, take some time for self-reflection. Each dating experience contributes to your personal growth, helping you become more self-aware and confident. Ask yourself if you enjoyed the experience, if you felt a connection, and if you’d like to see this potential partner again. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t lead to a new relationship right away—every date is a valuable part of your dating life and helps you learn more about yourself and what you want in a future relationship.

Most importantly, remember that dating after divorce is about having fun, meeting new people, and exploring what makes you happy. With each first date, you gain more life experience and move closer to finding your ideal partner. So take a deep breath, step out of your comfort zone, and enjoy this new chapter—you deserve it!

Were these tips helpful in guiding you on how to start dating again after a divorce? Let us know if you have any comments or questions, below! We want to hear from you.

About the Author: Veronica Baxter is a writer, blogger, and legal assistant operating out of the greater Philadelphia area. She frequently works with and writes on behalf of Lee A. Schwartz, a busy Philadelphia divorce lawyer.

 

 

 

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February 24, 2021

Advice

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