What Would You Do If You Were Not Afraid?
Sometime in the past week, I saw this question, “What would you do if you were not afraid?” And, it got me thinking. If I weren’t afraid, I would long to do a million things. Such as skydiving, raising sheep on a farm, raising chickens in my backyard, buying a tiny house on wheels, and spending time in different places around the United States, etc…
Finding the right answer to this question requires honest self-reflection. Taking time to consider your true answer can reveal what really holds you back and what you genuinely desire.
But I am afraid, and there is a pandemic going on, and I am over the age of wonderment and exploration…
Or am I? “Not so quick honey,” the wild part of my brain is sawing. “You can still have a ball.”
I can? I have not been for more than an hour from my house in six months and that was to go to a doctor. During this period of fear and uncertainty, I have felt anxious, isolated, and hesitant to step outside my comfort zone.
“What are you talking about?” I ask the crazy daring part of my brain as I sneak into the kitchen for 10 more black olives and a few peanuts. The way you choose your response to fear can shape your actions and mindset moving forward.
Introduction to Fearlessness
Fearlessness isn’t about never feeling afraid—it’s about recognizing your deepest fears and choosing to move forward anyway. In a world that often feels uncertain, being aware of what scares us is the first step toward living a life filled with purpose and meaning. TEDx speaker Michal asks, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”—a question that invites us to tap into our own courage and imagine a life where fear doesn’t call the shots. Her best-selling book explores how to overcome fear and anxiety, offering practical guidance for anyone ready to break free from self-imposed limitations. When you embrace fearlessness, you give yourself permission to pursue your ideas, no matter how big or small, and to create a life that truly reflects who you are. In today’s world, courage isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s essential for turning dreams into reality and overcoming the anxieties that can hold us back. So, what would you do if you were not afraid?
Overcoming Self Doubt
Self doubt is something we all face at different moments in our lives. It’s that little voice that whispers, “Are you sure you can do this?” and makes us question our abilities. But here’s the truth: you are not alone, and you are more capable than you think. One customer who decided to start her own venture shared, “The first step is always the hardest, but once you take it, you’ll realize you’re capable of more than you thought.” The feeling of uncertainty is natural, but it doesn’t have to define your journey. By being honest with yourself about your fears and strengths, you can begin to overcome the doubts that hold you back. Remember, progress matters more than perfection, and every small step forward is a victory. Self doubt may visit, but it doesn’t have to stay—choose to see it as a sign that you’re growing, learning, and living a life that matters.
Overthinking
What about all your talents and strengths and potential you’ve been writing about for years? Did you forget about all your positive psychology teaching? Are you going to get in the dumps because you cannot jump out of a plane? You never really wanted to do that anyway. And you have tons of allergies, you would never have made it on a sheep farm. Also, you never worked out enough to have good arm muscles. Think you could lift a sheep to be sheared? Think again. Chickens? Really. All those feathers, and what about collecting the eggs in bad weather or having chicks that need to be under a heat light. Seems to me that is not the right you for you.
Okay, maybe you could go around in a tiny house… However, I think your style is more of a nice hotel room with a delicious breakfast. And seems to me you get carsick even with those crazy bands on your wrist and all those ginger capsules you swallow. Maybe you need to just give yourself a break.
When dealing with overthinking and self-doubt, it’s important to maintain a balance between fear and action to avoid extremes. Both fear and the absence of action can exist and hinder your ability to move forward, making it difficult to function effectively.
So, how do we get out of our fear? This is what I would suggest. Just hear me out for a second. Let’s not let the dark sides of our brain win! There is real danger in letting fear and overthinking take over, as becoming frozen by fear can be dangerous to your personal growth.
Living in the Present Moment
There’s a quiet power in living in the present moment. When you let go of worries about the past and stop fretting about the future, you create space for clarity and a deeper sense of peace. Fear and anxiety often thrive when our minds wander to what might have been or what could go wrong, but the present is where life truly happens. Practicing mindfulness—whether through meditation, a walk in nature, or simply sitting in silence—can help you overcome those nagging fears and reconnect with yourself. Each moment is a chance to start fresh, to create new memories, and to find joy in the little things. By focusing on the here and now, you give yourself the gift of presence, and with it, the ability to respond to life’s challenges with calm and confidence. Remember, the present moment is all we ever really have—embrace it, and let it guide you toward a more meaningful life.
Building Resilience and Courage
Resilience and courage are the twin pillars that help us overcome fear and achieve our goals. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s easy to feel discouraged when things don’t go as planned. But true courage isn’t about never failing—it’s about getting back up, learning from each experience, and moving forward with renewed determination. Progress, not perfection, is what matters most. Celebrate your small wins, and don’t be afraid to take risks, even if the outcome is uncertain. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and remind you of your strengths. Remember, every act of courage—no matter how small—brings you closer to the life you want to lead. By building resilience, you empower yourself to face fear head-on and achieve what once seemed impossible.
Some Suggestions to Try During This Hard Time
- This is a hard time for all of us. So, don’t let worry take over during hard times—think of things you can do easily, and that don’t take a toll on your mood or your health. Putting these suggestions into practice can help improve your mood and health. Nothing wrong with watching a great series on your TV or the computer.
- Comfort foods may lead to weight gain. I know this can sound a bit cruel, but I really love you. Try to make mindful food choices—more vegetables, fruit, and some nuts can positively impact your well-being. But not the whole jar of peanuts!
- Stay in touch with everyone you care about.
- Invite people to meet you in a park or on your porch if you trust they will not throw their arms around you and kiss you madly after they take their mask off.
- Write and call your grandchildren and share with them everything fun or fascinating from your past.
- Be kind to all. Everyone is stressed and many are really upset. This is where you can really show how smart you are. Think of a good thing to say to anyone you talk to. (Even me). I am really on your side. Recognize and validate your own feelings and those of others.
- Give yourself permission to have fun in any realistic way where you will not break a leg or hurt someone else. Be mindful of not hurting yourself or others emotionally, and find ways to play or engage in enjoyable activities safely.
- Now you can make that list of your talents, strengths, and potential that really fit this time in your life.
- Now G0! Start doing lots of great things. I guarantee that you will not be afraid for more than a minute or two. Take action sooner rather than later to overcome fear. And the best thing is, I get to come along for the ride.
Finding Support and Community
No one should have to face their fears alone. Finding support and community can make all the difference when you’re working to overcome challenges and pursue your dreams. There is real power in connecting with others—whether it’s through a group, a club, or an online community—who understand your journey and encourage you to keep going. Diversity in community brings fresh perspectives and new ideas, helping you feel seen, heard, and valued. As women, we know the strength that comes from lifting each other up and sharing our stories. When you surround yourself with people who believe in you, you’ll find the courage to take bold steps and achieve your goals. Remember, the support of a caring community can help you feel less alone and more empowered to live a life that truly matters.
How to Get Started on Your Plan
Here’s how to get started on your plan for feeling enriched and having that wonderful feeling that comes with ‘Enchanted Self’ moments.
Make a list of your talents, strengths, untapped potential, and even your coping skills that you have right now. Also, make a list of what you have enjoyed doing in the last year or so. As you reflect, remember that overcoming fear can lead to significant career changes or inspire you to pursue a new career path. Don’t be afraid to quit a job or make a major life change if it means following your passion. The pain and discomfort that often accompany personal growth and transformation are part of the journey, and it’s normal to fail along the way—each setback is a step forward. Regularly assess your situation to expect and prepare for future changes, and look ahead by recognizing early signs that may lead to bigger shifts. Leading yourself through the process of self-discovery and growth is essential, and each person’s journey is unique and personal.
Sometimes, a single word can inspire change, and the words you use to describe your goals can shape your mindset. Consider keeping written reflections or notes to guide your progress and serve as reminders of your growth. Make a deal with yourself to commit to positive change and embrace the opportunities that come with it. Now the puzzle solution is up to you. You are free to build off the list that the daring part of my brain suggested to me. Actually, it’s a good list based on the thinking of many educators and psychologists. Or, just go for your own plan.
I would love to hear from you and what you do to enrich your life and that of others during this trying time. Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page!
Sometimes friends and colleagues call me, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein: ‘The Enchanted Self.’ That’s because as a psychologist in private practice for over 35 years, I’ve developed a form of positive psychology called The Enchanted Self. I’m not enchanted, but I do have many ways and ideas to help all of us feel better through all stages of life. These methods help us to recognize our potential, regardless of our age, to grab on to our talents and find again and again the emotional energies needed to be creative, resourceful, resilient, and to live joyfully.
In two minutes share with the ‘girl’ from my books, The Truth, Diary of a gutsy Tween and Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen, and my films, the ‘girl’ who has no name, as she is all of us. Share with her as she goes from despair to elation as we most, not only in today’s pandemic but as we travel through life. Enjoy seeing the joy she finds loving and connecting once more and bring it home to your and your grand-kids. Watch the film at: https://vimeo.com/402998418 and feel free to pass it along!
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My husband and I have spent more time together than at any other period of our marriage. It has increased our appreciation for each other, and we’ve come to understand each other’s frailties and strengths as never before.
How wise a woman you are. A woman makes a marriage and you…did good! Warmly,Honey