By Eileen Fisher
I was asked to write about what the key is to surviving dating after 50. I really like this question. I am a woman of 50, I worked very hard to get here, and I am damn proud of it. I don’t think until you hit this age you have the experience and guts to answer this question with honesty because wondering what 50 will be like is completely different than being 50.
You Are Enough
Often, when I get a call from a woman in her 50s, she first asks, “Do you think there is hope for me? Do you think you can set me up? Do you think men want a woman in her 50s? I don’t look 50-years-old, I do go on an awful lot of dates, but do you think men will still want me?”
The first thing I tell a woman that calls me with this concern is, you should not lie about your age, you should not lie about your photos, don’t lie about who you are, and always be honest with yourself. It is often said that 50 is the new 40. 60 is the new 50, 20 is the new 10, and blah, blah, blah… it’s all just numbers.
What Does 50 Look Like Anyway?
What does 50 look and feel like? I suppose the answer lies in each fifty-something human being.
How do you feel? How do you look? How do others feel about you? How do others think you look? With 50 years of life under your belt, one has a greater level of confidence. One has a greater idea of direction. One understands from life’s experiences, the highs and lows, the trials and tribulations, the accomplishments, and the disappointments. I believe women of 50 and better are ready for it all!
Women in their 50s are so different than when they were in their 20s. A woman in her 50s feels much more sexy, confident, passionate, and confident in who she is. It took us a journey to get here, but when we hit 50, it’s kind of like, “Ahhhh, I’m ok, I’m 50, and I’m here.”
We have grown, we are independent, we have improved ourselves, and all of our insecurities have found a little place to live inside our own heads, that we can control, and not allow them to control us.
Most of our heart breaks have healed, our emotional scars faded, as we come to understand the journey we have traveled and will travel ahead.
We are now at a stage in our lives when we are looking for our so-called partner and a true partnership. At this point, we don’t question if it’s about having kids, we don’t worry about finances, religion, or even each other’s families. We focus on the best part; it finally becomes about YOU… not what the others think.
This is Your Time!
All you women out there in your 50s and getting ready for a date, put some sexy music on, take a bath, pull out that outfit you have wanted to wear or buy the one you thought may be pushing the envelope.
But the most important thing about getting ready for your date is not to worry about the public fashion show around you. Instead, just go out with a positive attitude, not worrying about what your friends think, have an open mind, and wear your best smile. A big 50-year-old smile will tell your date who you are, and that 50 years of life is just the beginning of your journey. If he’s lucky, you may invite him along for the ride. Or not. Either way, I know you’ll enjoy the adventure.
About The Author
New York-based Relationship/Dating Expert Eileen Fisher has been setting up couples as long as she can remember. A matchmaker since college, she initially worked in NYC’s Garment District before heading officially into matchmaking. Being a natural “yenta,” she soon realized her love of connecting people was greater than her love of textiles. She is currently a partner in Elite Connections International, New York’s most exclusive matchmaking agency with over 24 years of unprecedented success. Eileen lives in Manhattan with her husband, and their two children, and faithful pooch.