Blogger Rosemary Bointon wrote today’s post on how to stay lively and beat loneliness after 50! Enjoy, darlings!

Have you found that you’re not keeping in touch with friends and maybe even family after 50?  You lose the camaraderie of working, your kids have long since set up their own lives on the other side of the country, and other friends have moved to be nearer to their children. Maybe you’ve lost your life partner and, suddenly, the world is a lonely place. These changes can leave you feeling isolated, even if you are surrounded by people.

It’s so easy to let things slip. You’ve had so much going on.  Maybe you have health problems, or you had to downsize and move home and you don’t know many people in your new area. It’s important to address both the logistical and emotional challenges that come with moving or changing living situations, as proactively addressing these can help foster new social connections.

All those types of events make it so important to keep in touch with your friends and family.

What can you do to make sure that you don’t end up as one of the many in the statistics about staying lively and fighting loneliness? Here are some ideas for keeping in touch.

Staying Lively After 50

As we age, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves feeling lonely or disconnected from the world around us. Old friends may have moved away, family members are busy with their own lives, and sometimes it feels like life is moving on without us. But here’s the good news: you have the power to change that narrative. With a little practical advice and a willingness to explore new opportunities, you can meet new people, reconnect with old friends, and rediscover the joy of meaningful friendships.

Social isolation is a significant health-related challenge for people over 50, often leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. In this article, we’ll explore ways to overcome social isolation and build a supportive, connected life.

This journey isn’t just about beating loneliness—it’s about embracing life at every age, finding support, and making every day count. So, let’s dive in and discover how you can create a more connected, lively, and fulfilling life after 50.

Finding the Right Mindset

The first step to overcoming loneliness is all about mindset. Feeling lonely doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it simply means you’re ready for a new chapter. As an older adult, you bring a wealth of life experience and wisdom to the table, and it’s never too late to make new friends or reignite old passions. Sometimes, it takes a little courage to put on your “big girl panties” and reach out, but remember: every meaningful connection starts with a single step. Embrace the idea that life is full of possibilities, and that loneliness is just a feeling—not a permanent state. By opening your heart to new people and new experiences, you’ll find that your world can become richer and more vibrant than ever before.

Finding Purpose and Joy After 50

As we move into our 50s and beyond, life often presents us with the gift of time—time to reflect, rediscover, and pursue what truly brings us happiness. For many older adults, this is a great opportunity to reconnect with old hobbies or explore new passions that may have been set aside during the busier years. Whether it’s joining a local book club, signing up for a walking group, or taking classes at your community center, these activities offer more than just entertainment—they open doors to social interaction and a renewed sense of purpose.

Exploring your interests with like minded people can be incredibly rewarding. Perhaps you’ve always loved gardening, painting, or writing, but never had the chance to fully dive in. Now is the perfect time to join a group or club where you can share your passion and learn from others. Not only does this help combat loneliness, but it also creates a sense of belonging and accomplishment. Even revisiting old hobbies can spark joy and lead to new friendships, as you connect with others who share your enthusiasm.

Remember, finding purpose and joy after 50 isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about the small, meaningful moments that make life richer. By staying curious, joining in, and allowing yourself to explore, you’ll find that loneliness fades and your days become filled with connection and fulfillment.

How Do You Deal with your Friends and Family?

Keeping in touch can be a question of attitude.  Do you take the advice of the Four Tops and ‘Reach Out’?

Or are you one of those people who never makes the effort to contact friends? Do you say things like, “We never see you these days. Why don’t you visit us anymore?”. (Why is it always the people who never contact you who say things like that? It makes my blood boil.) It can be a difficult balancing act. If it’s always you who initiates, then the others grow to expect it. It’s a question of finding the right balance and being sufficiently aware of what’s going on in their lives.

The Joys of Listening

A great way to endear yourself to your friends and family is to listen to their joys and concerns. That means paying attention in detail to what the person is saying and how they feel. It’s important to recognize and validate the other person’s feelings during conversations, as this helps them feel understood and supported. People instinctively feel when somebody really listens to them and they respond to it with gratitude and love. I remember a time when I truly felt heard by a close friend, and it made a lasting impact on my sense of connection and well-being.

Keep positive and suggest solutions, rather than imposing your own miseries and woes on the person.  (Nobody loves the person who always has it worse than they do. So don’t get into a ‘my woes are worse than yours’ type of competition. Just say something empathetic like ‘Oh, I bet that was really horrid to deal with. How did you manage?’)

If it is not something you’re used to doing, why not read up about how to listen or how to improve your empathy skills?

Overcoming Barriers to Social Connection

It’s natural to feel a bit anxious about meeting new people or joining a group for the first time. Many of us worry about fitting in or being rejected, but the truth is, there are countless like minded people out there looking for connection too. One of the best ways to break through these barriers is to join a group or club that matches your interests—whether it’s a book club, a walking group, or even a virtual book club online. These spaces are filled with people who share your passions and are eager to welcome new members. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and try something new. Technology can also be a wonderful ally, helping you connect with others through social media, online forums, or video calls. Remember, every new friendship starts with a simple “hello”—so take that leap and see where it leads!

Staying Active and Engaged

Keeping your body and mind active is one of the most effective ways for older adults to combat loneliness and maintain a vibrant daily routine. Physical activity—whether it’s a brisk walk in the park, a gentle swim, or a restorative yoga class—does wonders for reducing stress and anxiety, while also providing opportunities for social interaction. Many local libraries and community centers offer classes and workshops tailored for older adults, making it easy to meet new people and learn new skills in a welcoming environment.

Volunteering is another fantastic way to stay engaged with the outside world. Giving your time to a cause you care about not only brings a sense of fulfillment, but also connects you with like minded individuals who share your values. If getting out isn’t always possible, consider joining a virtual book club or attending a meetup group online—these are great opportunities to build new friendships and feel part of a community, no matter where you are.

By making a conscious effort to stay active and engaged, you’ll find that your social circle expands, your sense of purpose grows, and feelings of loneliness and isolation begin to melt away. Every new class, group, or event is a chance to create meaningful connections and enrich your life.

Following Through on Your Initiatives

Once you’ve been in touch, don’t forget that you’ll need to follow through. Keeping in touch is a regular activity, not just a once-in-a-blue-moon action.  (Note: there are no blue moons in 2022.)

Try dropping a quick email about how much you enjoyed/were sorry about hearing, according to whatever it was you talked about.  E.g. their children, where they went on holiday, their mother’s ill health, etc etc.  (You’ll have noted the topics with your listening skills and enquiring further really shows you care.)

A Surprise Out of the Blue

Everyone likes an unexpected surprise. Just a quick message or a call out of the blue can warm someone’s heart.!

Think of the joy a little gift can bring.  It needn’t be expensive.  A packet of seeds, some horseradish sauce, a book (it needn’t be a new one, just one your friend might love), some flowers, or an interesting recipe to try. Inviting someone over to your house for a cup of tea or a small gathering can be a wonderful way to reconnect and share these thoughtful gifts.

Plan to Do Things Together

Even if you live far away you can still do things together! It might take a bit of planning. Here are some suggestions.

How about setting up a get-together over coffee or a drink?  If not in person, then by zoom or Skype. Or you could suggest you each read the same book and then talk about it. How about extending the discussion to a wider group of friends and friends of friends? You could join or start book clubs, including in-person or virtual book clubs, as a great way to meet people and foster new friendships.

Don’t like the idea of a book club – how about making it a film night? You might also consider joining a local meetup group or taking classes in subjects that interest you, which can be a great way to meet people and explore new activities.

Ask some friends to be accountability buddies to develop better exercise habits. A real or virtual walk that you could both do might be a fun way to spur yourselves on to more exercise. If you do it together on zoom or even on a quick WhatsApp call, that’s more time to gossip. You could also try a dance class or attend a social dance event as a fun and active way to connect with others. Outdoor activities like gardening or walking together are also a great way to enjoy fresh air while connecting with others. With the social benefits of company and the health benefits of exercise, a longer life is your reward.

Staying active and keeping life interesting is one of the secret sauces to combatting loneliness. Keep exploring new opportunities and activities—this can help you meet like-minded people and form new friendships.

The Benefits of Community Involvement

Getting involved in your local community is a fantastic way to combat loneliness and create a sense of belonging. Whether you’re joining a walking group, attending events at your local library, or volunteering for a cause close to your heart, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to meet like minded individuals and make new friends. Community activities not only help you feel more connected, but they also give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Many older adults find that volunteering or participating in local events brings fresh energy and joy into their lives. So, don’t hesitate to explore what’s happening in your area—whether it’s a gardening club, a group tour, or a new hobby retirement class, you’re sure to find something that sparks your interest and helps you feel less lonely.

Joining a local history society or sharing your own history with others can be a meaningful way to connect and contribute. Many people become more interested in history and community engagement as they get older, which can open up new opportunities for involvement and connection.

Bringing Glimpses of Happier Days

Sometimes it’s enough just to be there for the life events of your friends and family.

I’ll never forget the support my friends Bryony and Judith provided me when my partner was killed in a road accident.  When the world seemed to cave in with the weight of grief, they were just there.

They stayed with me. They arranged flowers, made meals, cleaned up, hugged me, and did many small practical jobs. But mostly they each just listened. I cried on their shoulders, raged at the stupidity of the accident, and laughed at the many happy memories we had all shared. I now remember that time for the happiness of being together to celebrate my partner’s life. Those moments taught me valuable life lessons about compassion, resilience, and the importance of supporting each other, which continue to shape my relationships today.

I’m sure you’ll easily remember how your friends supported you at joyful events such as weddings, bar mitzvahs, and christenings.  Why not tell them what it meant to you, even if it was years ago? Consider reaching out to an old friend and reminiscing about those shared experiences—it can be a wonderful way to reconnect and strengthen your bond.

Maybe your friend looked after you when you had an operation or a health problem. Perhaps they made you a meal, brought you grapes, went shopping for you, or just turned up bringing good cheer and a glimpse of happier days to come.

Make sure that you do the same and your friends and family won’t forget you when you need support.

Health Benefits of Social Connection

Staying socially connected isn’t just good for your mood—it’s also great for your health. Research shows that older adults who maintain strong social ties are less likely to experience depression, anxiety, and stress. Regular social interaction can even help reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of cognitive decline. Engaging with friends, joining support groups, or participating in community activities can boost your immune system, improve your daily routine, and encourage you to stay physically active. Whether you’re taking a walk with a four legged friend, dancing at a local event, or simply chatting with close friends, these moments of connection can add years to your life and life to your years. So, make it a priority to reach out, get involved, and nurture the friendships that keep you feeling lively and supported.

Middle Age and Beyond: Embracing New Chapters

Reaching middle age and beyond is a milestone that brings both challenges and exciting new possibilities. It’s natural to sometimes feel lonely or uncertain as life changes, but this stage is also a great opportunity to embrace new chapters and create the life you want. Many older adults discover that joining a group or club aligned with their interests—whether it’s a dance class, a book club, or a local events group—can lead to new friendships and a renewed sense of belonging.

Trying something new, like learning a language or picking up a musical instrument, can be both invigorating and empowering. These experiences not only help you meet like minded people, but also give you a sense of accomplishment and pride. Attending community events, taking classes, or simply reaching out to others can transform feelings of loneliness into feelings of connection and joy.

Remember, every age brings its own unique gifts. By staying open to new experiences and nurturing your interests, you can create lasting friendships and a fulfilling life, no matter what chapter you’re in.

Creating a Connection Plan

If you’re looking to combat loneliness and build meaningful relationships, creating a connection plan can be a powerful first step. Start by identifying the activities and interests that bring you joy—maybe it’s reading, gardening, or volunteering—and look for opportunities to connect with others who share those passions. Joining a book club, signing up for a class, or volunteering for a local cause are all wonderful ways to foster social interaction and make new friends.

Don’t forget the power of technology! Video calls, social media, and online groups can help you stay connected with friends and family, even if they’re far away. These tools can also introduce you to new friendships and communities, giving you a sense of belonging and support.

The key is to be proactive—set small, achievable goals, like reaching out to one new person each week or attending a monthly group meeting. Every step you take towards connection, no matter how small, helps reduce feelings of loneliness and builds a stronger, more supportive network around you. Remember, it’s never too late to make new friends and enrich your life with meaningful relationships.

Real Stories of Connection

Sometimes, the most inspiring way to beat loneliness is to hear how others have done it. Across the world, older adults are finding creative ways to connect, build new friendships, and bring joy into their lives. Take, for example, the woman in her 70s who started a gardening club in her neighborhood—what began as a small gathering blossomed into a vibrant community where people of all ages shared tips, stories, and laughter. Or the man in his 60s who joined a local choir, discovering not only a love for music but also a sense of purpose and camaraderie with fellow singers.

These real stories remind us that it’s never too late to create meaningful connections. Whether it’s through joining a group, volunteering, or simply reaching out to someone new, every person has the power to combat loneliness and enrich their life. By sharing our experiences and supporting one another, we can build a world where no one feels isolated—no matter their age. So, let these stories inspire you to take that first step, connect with others, and create the friendships that make life truly fulfilling.

Get Going for the Big Dividends of Reaching Out

If you are not very good at keeping in contact (as so many of us are not), try setting yourself a goal.  Commit to reaching out to say one person a week, or if you’re up to it, one person a day!  (You don’t have to do it forever. Reaching a realistic goal will provide a big boost to your own happiness.)

What sort of things counts as being proactive?  Well, try making a list of all your friends’ birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Ask, if you don’t know – it’s a great excuse to contact people. Then send them a birthday card, an email or a present to show you remember.  Take the lead by organizing get-togethers or being the first to initiate contact with friends—this can help strengthen your social network and overcome loneliness.

Try phoning or sending a WhatsApp message asking how they are. Perhaps once every three months or more often if you like them a lot. Tell them a story about some little thing that happened to you and they will reciprocate, making your life more fun.  The time and energy you spend nurturing these relationships can bring great rewards and lasting connections.

Take up following their social media.  A little response such as a like or a short comment such as “lovely photo” could make your friend’s day. It doesn’t work with everyone. Some people do their utmost never to appear on any social media. You’ll need to keep a note of other ways to contact those people.

Just make sure that you do small regular things to keep the contact alive and to show you care.

Keeping in Touch: Bye Bye Loneliness

Simon and Garfunkel got it wrong.  It’s not ‘bye bye happiness’, but ‘bye bye loneliness’.

It’s never too early or too late to keep in touch with family and friends. Imagine that you devoted ten minutes a day to keep in touch. It’s not very much time. But if you start today, you’ll soon see how it builds up.  You’ll gradually find yourself going out more or having more friends pop in to see you.

Imagine the resources you’ll have after a year, after 5 years, or when you’re much older.  When your rainy day comes along, you’ll have lots of friends, family members, neighbors, and acquaintances to call on.  All because you took the time to keep in touch. You were the one on whom they could depend when they reached out.  Now they respond when it’s your turn to reach out for help.

Loneliness is a killer. Keeping in touch keeps you alive and the love and companionship of friends and family give you a life worth living. You might make all the difference in someone’s life with a few small gestures How happy will that make you? No matter what challenges you face, what matters most is the effort you make to stay connected.

Why not think of someone who you would like to keep in touch with and reach out to? If you are struggling with loneliness, remember you can always find support from friends, family, or community resources.

A note from Honey: Darlings, what friend are you? The one that needs help remembering to reach out or the one who always does? Who are you deciding to reconnect with this week?

 

About the author:

Rosemary Bointon helps older people work out what to do now to live longer, and in better health with more fun and adventures. You can find her blog here.

 

 

 

** Please note that items purchased through links on this site may result in a commission for Honey Good.