Last week, I spent hours over the course of two days doing something that I absolutely did not want to do. It was a situation where I once again said ‘yes,’ when I knew I really wanted to say, ‘no.’ Why did I say ‘yes?’ And, why in the future will I say “no” instead? Here’s why I am learning to say ‘no.’
I know I have written on this topic previously, but after a short discussion with two friends at lunch, I realized I needed to once again. I know you are beset with struggling to say ‘no’ – we all are!
During our chitter chatter I asked, “Do you have a hard time saying ‘no?’”
In a split second, with firm voices and in unison they answered, “Yes!”
I was somewhat surprised, as they are strong women and I thought they would be pros at saying ‘no.’ So I followed up with, “Why?”
Once again, their answers were the same:
- “Saying ‘yes’ makes me feel good.”
- “I am a pleaser.”
- “I am uncomfortable saying, ‘no.’”
Am I touching a nerve, dear readers? I absolutely agreed with them.
Learning to say ‘no’
Of course I thought about their comments in the shower, where you know I do my best thinking. My previous decision to say ‘yes’ when I wanted to say ‘no’ was once again on my mind. For two days, I faced endless stress and did not enjoy a single moment. I gave up hours of my time and I was miserable because I chose to use that three letter word – ‘yes.’
And so darlings, during my shower I cleansed my soul. I decided last week’s poor decision was the final straw. I am finished saying, ‘yes.’ From now on when I face a situation that I know will not bring me pleasure, I will use the word “no.” In that very moment, I could feel my mood shift from downright negative to outright positive.
I got out of the shower, dried myself off, spritzed on my favorite perfume, used my favorite body cream and turned on my Hawaiian music as I sighed and relaxed. I was beaming with positivity as I practiced saying the word out loud. “No, no, no,” I repeated over and over again. I felt redeemed. Why?
Because —at times —saying the word “no” is positive for us and saying the word “yes” is negative for us!
It is time for stylish women over 50 to stop saying “yes” just to please other people and instead, LOVE OURSELVES.
Dear readers of mine:
Please yourself first.
Feel superior about your decisions.
Learning to say ‘no’ may be a challenging, but remember, saying ‘no’ does not mean you are being selfish. You are wise, savvy and living a stylish life over 50. That goes for yours truly, too. I am smiling.