My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

Ask Honey: How to Self-Nurture in Elsewhere

How to Self-Nurture During Trying Times in Elsewhere

How to Self-Nurture During Trying Times in Elsewhere

Darling, it is early morning on a sunny day. Except for my closet and files, every cabinet, drawer, and closet in our home is organized. A smile crosses my face because I am satisfied with this part of my project. I walk through the rooms of our apartment in the sky and note the placement of objects from our home in Shangrila. Again, I sigh with delight. I have accomplished my goal. 83 boxes filled with items have found a place to call home.

In a few hours, an art hanger is dropping in to decide with me where I should hang large pieces of our art that hung in a very spacious home. This task requires the talent, care, and skill of a professional. Lastly, on November 17th California Closet will build out spaces for my crystal and China, etc.. Darling, I recommend this company. They know how to utilize every nook and cranny and the company is very reasonable, cost-wise.

Focusing On Our Home

For the past six weeks, I have focused on our home. The project has been pleasurable because the end goal was to make our apartment in the sky a haven in a hectic world, a sanctuary in Elsewhere.

I am sitting at my computer staring out the window 71 floors up. There is silence from the storm. No voices blasting negative commentary from a television but instead, soft music is coming from Alexa. The only damper, I know she is spying on me! As adaptable as I thought I was, I will never adjust to the invasion of life in Elsewhere.

How Can a Woman, Just Be?

Now that our home is in order, it is time to keep a declaration I made. I promised I would begin the process of taking the time to ‘care for me’ emotionally and physically. In sum, I know self-nurturing is self-growth. A woman who self-nurturers her mind and her body shows the world a positive outward behavior and bearing. I realize this project will completely fill my mind and attention.

As I think of the project ahead of me, I know it will be absorbing because it is far greater than lighting candles around a woman’s bath as she luxuriates in suds and oil. The bath is the symbol. The meat of the project is a woman’s decision to put herself first in areas that are necessary for her to find peace from within. It is her personal recipe.

What would you like to work on for your personal benefit? Your relationships? Your health? Maybe your confidence? Or your authenticity? Conquests at work or home? In essence, it’s your decision to want to welcome change. This is not easy but the end result is dynamite. How can you begin the process of self-nurturing? Slowly, darling, slowly. It is not easy to tackle especially when you live in Elsewhere.

A Woman in a Rut

A change should take place when a woman feels out of sorts with herself. A light bulb bursts inside demanding her attention. This negative burst of feelings goes on until she gives in and decides to live with her feelings or she says, “I am in a rut! I need a change.”

The funk I am in didn’t happen overnight. It began at the end of April, six or seven weeks after the government told us we had to live in self-isolation. At that time I did not mind staying at home with my Ultimate Concierge and pooch, America. What I began to mind was Government control and the knowledge that 385 million of us obeyed, without a sound! An entire Nation! We were denied access to our relatives who were left alone to suffer and die in nursing homes and in hospitals. This thought hit me one day last April and I felt scared that one command could control the lives of a Nation.

More and More…

The next fright occurred as I watched cities burning, businesses destroyed, our national monuments smashed to the ground, people killed for no reason, down with the police and startling truths that there was hate all around. I felt despair and raging anger. These feelings only grew because what was happening would not go away. So, I waited and watched with bated breath to feel a positive change in the air. A voice in my head kept telling me to just hang in there. It is now nine months later and I am no longer the me in me because my faith in humanity has been shattered.

“How could this happen to me?” I asked myself. Even through my most difficult trials, I never lost my holly-go-lightly personality of positive hope. I can’t find it now. Not at all.

Elsewhere has taken its toll.

How to Begin the Road to Self-Nurture; Have a Goal

Over the last month, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. Working alone putting our home in the order provided me that opportunity. As I cleared shelves and organized our home I was somehow also clearing and organizing my mind. If I enjoyed the work and reward of giving loving care to our home I could certainly put together a plan to organize and focus on giving loving care to myself.

My goal is to restore a sense of harmony back into my everyday way of life. This leads me back to the old Chinese practitioners and the mysterious art of the placement of things and sounds in our home. It is known as Feng Shui. It is a way of living life through ancient wisdom.

I learned the teachings of Feng Shui many years ago on my travels to Malaysia and China from Asian friends. I spent time taking lessons with a Feng Shui practitioner when we were building Shangrila and learned that simple changes in the design of a home spark natural potential and good fortune. For example, wind chimes in certain locations bring soothing and restorative peace. I brought two sets back from California to hang in the windows in two rooms of our home. And, I will leave the windows ajar and hear my chimes.

It is time to mother myself, as they say in Feng Shui. It is time to listen to my deepest needs and act on them. After all, if I do not seek, I will never find. If you don’t seek you will never find.

Beginning my Journey of Self-Nurture

I have decided how to begin my journey to self-nurture. The first step will be to regain calmness. How? I began taking Yoga one month ago. And, I am taking two classes a week virtually. It has been very difficult for me to do remotely because I am a beginner. But, I am sticking to the program because of my teacher. She brings the best out of me. As soon as her studio reopens I will take Yoga in class.

The next item on my list is to get on my treadmill for 30-45 minutes each day to rid myself of anxiety, anger, and hopefully calm me down while I am forced to live in Elsewhere.

Now, darling, I have given you food for thought. If you had not considered self-nurturing pick your personal area. And if you do self-nurture yourself, please send me your ideas. I need all the help I can get. But, I AM smiling; I swear. Girl Scouts Honor!

What do you do to self-nurture during these trying times? Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page. 

Honey Good Signature

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  1. This blog is the most real expression of emotions and feelings that I have read. Life is so chaotic and uncertain, like you, I can’t believe we let the government control us, shutting down our economy, blocking us from seeing elderly loved ones, it mustn’t happen again. Yes, setting a few goals, keeping our house as a sanctuary of peace, and keeping our faith in God will surely sustain us. Assisting others as we can. Thank you

  2. I have been doing yoga for more than 50 years. It is a way of life for me. I am looking forward to getting back in the studio. My classes are on zoom now. It has gotten me through many trying events in my life.

    1. Please tell me how Yoga has helped you. My teacher says it will help me but I have not felt it yet, not at all. I am only proud of myself for trying, especially virtually. I would be so appreciative for your thoughts. Thank you. God Bless. Warmly, Honey

  3. Thank you for this post. I agree with you and feel the same way about this strange time we are living in. I live in Atlanta but have been back to Chicago for the past few weeks to spend time with my family here & help out with my 6 year old granddaughter. This period is especially difficult for families with young children who cannot go back to their classrooms & socialize with other kids. It seems that all we can do now is continue to self nurture, get plenty of sleep, try to get out for fresh air & sunlight & maintain some sort of balance. Keep up with your positive outlook & keep spreading your positive message!

    1. Thank you for your positive message. Fresh air. Sunshine. Positive attitude. Balance. And let’s add gratitude. Happy turkey day!!!! Enjoy your family. I am keeping my eye on Georgia! Warmly and with friendship, Honey

  4. Honey, I have always admired your ability to state your mind and share your feelings. This is certainly a difficult time in our history for many reasons.
    This will pass. Give yourself the gift of something to look forward to -time with family, an wonderful dinner party, a visit to a museum, a trip to visit those friends and family you’ve missed so that when these times are behind us, you’ll be ready to go!
    I also practice yoga along with meditation. Both take time and practice but through the asanas and controlled breathing they will help calm the nervous system. Having a sense of hope, looking to the future, and finding the beauty in moments -a sunset, a loved one’s smile, or the perfect cocktail will help remind us that life is good.

  5. I love you honey. I’m a woman, a black woman. Almost 51 Living in Canada trying to feel whole again after taking my mom home from hospital to die within the comfort of her surroundings where she lived for in her apartment for 48 years. Today is her birthday, she is in heaven. She had one child. Me, but actually many. She was a very loving and giving soul. Cut to the chase, one day after coming home from yoga, the was my self care as a caregiver I met up with a man in the lobby of her building, the encounter was Terrifying, no he did not “assault” me. He urinated on me! Then all over the walls in the elevatorI I screamed called security and police. Both advised me that it is not a crime to urinate on someone. They had it on camera and would have it cleaned up. I was speechless and in fact searching for new meaning for myself as a person, a woman, a human, mother and grandmother. It took me back to a history that I only ever read about now crystal clear.

    I’m glad I found you, Through these tears I’m finding some purpose.

    Thank you honey. Funny that’s what I called Mum Honey😘

    1. I am speechless about the episode you encountered.Obviously, he is a mentally disturbed person. We all have our roots. I am from a minority, too. I am Jewish and grew up in a Christian community. Not until I grew up did I realize I learned very positive skills of how to get along as an outsider and most importantly I acquired personal feelings, such as empathy for others and true grit. Your ancestors had a very sad history. But, many made it through the rain and survived and will continue to thrive because there are Black women like you who will make it happen. I believe our politicians who are using the theory that there is great prejudice against Blacks in the USA are trouble makers. Americans elected a Black President twice to lead our County, we treasure the words of Martin Luther King. It is time for all Blacks to begin to take pride in themselves, their history and reach for positive stars, like you are doing. Walk with your head held high, Denise, and be an example to your children and grands.Teach them to be proud of their history, teach them not to feel sorry for themselves, teach them true grit and show them how to strive… that is a great purpose. I am so glad you read my stories. Stay in touch. Warmly, Honey

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