Women who appear to be living a perfectly normal lifestyle can feel just as stuck as the woman facing misfortune and endless hurdles. Life can look polished on the outside and feel hollow on the inside. Have you ever felt as though you were starving for a shake in your routine? Do you want to feel alive again? It is so easy to normalize emptiness when you don’t recognize that you are burning out from too little in your life rather than too much.

A woman can have everything she thought she wanted (home, security, companionship) and yet feel lifeless. Are you that woman? Or are you the one weighed down by misfortune, unable to see a way forward?

My Secret Tool

The main symptom of being stuck is lack of motivation. Your days blend together, joy feels out of reach, restlessness takes root and you lose direction. You sense you are drifting, but you don’t know where.

I understand this feeling deeply. My days of wine and roses went up in a puff of smoke when my Ultimate Concierge was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Overnight, my life shrank from the size of the world to the size of a peanut. My husband, once my intellectual companion and partner in every adventure, could no longer share conversations, travel, or the social life we once enjoyed. I could have allowed myself to burn out from too little and slipped into coping mode. Instead, I made a decision: I was not going to get stuck. I wanted to feel joy. I wanted to feel alive.

The choice was not easy, but I had a secret tool: journaling. For years, I have written my authentic thoughts, recording who I am, what I value, and where I hope to go. Because of this practice, when my circumstances changed, I did not lose myself. I knew who I was.

The Danger of Boredom

As we age, one of the greatest challenges we face is boredom. If we are not careful, sameness creeps in and becomes an unhealthy pattern. I realized that if I allowed monotony to dominate my life, I would grow lifeless inside. So I made a conscious effort to disrupt it and told myself: I will not allow boredom to set the rules of my day.

I came to understand that I didn’t need to overhaul my life or circle the globe to stay fulfilled. I needed to reclaim curiosity, keep my mind and spirit awake… even within the four walls of my home.

When Nothing Feels Wrong, But Nothing Feels Right

Sometimes, darling, a woman feels stuck not because of crisis, but because nothing happened. Life is fine on the surface, but it no longer feels good. It is as though your brain has forgotten how to wonder, how to be curious, how to delight in the little things. You don’t feel stuck because something happened, but rather you feel stuck because nothing happened.

Have you ever found yourself here? You look around and think: Why don’t I feel joy? Why don’t I feel excited anymore?

To Thine Own Self Be True

Whether you are technically “fine” or walking through fire, the way out begins the same way:

“To thine own self be true.” – William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Many women over 50 still do not fully know what they need to thrive. We know how to care for others, our husbands, our children, our grandchildren… the list can go on and on! But when it comes to ourselves, we sometimes struggle.

That is why journaling has been my saving grace. When you write your truth without fear or pretense, you live into your answers. You learn what to release, what to embrace, and what to change.

The Trap of Repetition

Repetition without renewal is a trap. Think of it this way: a woman learning a new language is challenged and curious. She struggles, yes, but she feels alive. Meanwhile, the woman repeating the same empty routine day after day is running in circles. She is stuck not because she is doing too much, but because she is doing too little that nourishes her soul.

Change is difficult, but so is sameness. You must choose your difficulty and I encourage you to choose growth.

Small Changes, Big Shifts

Darling, you don’t need to overhaul your life. Refresh it with small changes. These (what may seem little) changes have the power to create enormous ripples of renewal.

Here are some ways to begin:

Move your body each morning.

It is mood medicine, creating persistence and accomplishment. Even a short walk or gentle stretching wakes your spirit.

Nourish yourself.

I began seeing a naturopathic doctor affiliated with Northwestern Hospital. Through testing, I discovered vitamin deficiencies and created a new supplement and nutrition routine. It was not easy, new habits rarely are, but it gave me motivation, knowledge, and a renewed purpose in caring for myself.

Practice stillness.

A few minutes of quiet reflection, whether through meditation, prayer, or simple silence, centers the heart. Stillness turns your gaze inward, while meaningful conversations with others widen your world outward.

Create beauty around you.

A blooming orchid, a well-set table, or a tidy desk can lift your spirit. Our surroundings affect our inner lives more than we admit. Beautify your home or garden and watch your creativity flourish.

Set a small new goal.

Read a book you’ve always meant to read. Learn a skill. Take up watercolor. Goals, however modest, give you something to lean toward, and leaning forward is the opposite of feeling stuck.

Each of these small life changes help shake off the dust of monotony and breathe fresh air into your life!

The Magic of Daydreaming

During my own journey, I allowed myself to pause, to daydream. I asked myself: what would make my heart sing within the four walls of my home?

Darling, daydreaming is not a waste of time. It is a sacred pause. Through it, you discover desires you didn’t know you carried. When I give myself permission to daydream, new ideas and inspiration flow onto the pages of my journal. Journaling, my saving grace, becomes even more joyful because it is born from those daydreams.

The Reward of Renewal

When you navigate your way out of a rut, whether born of crisis or of nothingness, you feel a surge of empowerment. Life looks brighter, you reclaim curiosity and you find joy in places you once overlooked.

The reward is not just external change; it is internal transformation. You discover that you are not powerless and you (yes, YOU!) have the ability to renew yourself.

My Small Secret Ingredient

Journaling is my anchor. It is where I tell myself the truth, where I record my grief and my gratitude, where I find clarity when the world feels blurry. It is how I stay unstuck.

If you are feeling lifeless, restless, or stuck, begin here. Take a notebook, write without judgment, and let your inner voice surface. She will guide you and remind you that you are still alive, capable, and worthy of joy.

Disrupt Sameness

The truth is this: life will always deliver moments of crisis and moments of monotony. Both can make us feel stuck, but neither has the power to defeat us… unless we surrender.

Choose instead to live with curiosity, intention, and courage. Refresh your routines. Set gentle goals. Create beauty. Move your body. Nourish your soul. Journal your truth.

You do not need the whole world to feel alive. You only need the willingness to disrupt sameness, the courage to change, and the love to honor who you are. Because the woman who refuses to stay stuck is the woman who continues to thrive. Amen.