The importance of sharing yourself with family and friends over the holidays can not be overstated! A good hostess loves to entertain her family and guests! She is happy opening her door to those she loves and cares for. Her family and guests can always feel her joy.

By understanding the emotional needs of your guests and crafting entertainment that resonates on a deeper level, you can transform your holiday celebration into a truly unforgettable event. Emotional engagement is key to successful entertainment content, as it helps create memorable experiences and fosters a stronger connection with your audience. Just as people respond differently to various genres and humor styles in movies, emotional responses during holiday hosting can be highly subjective and unique to each guest.

Throughout my life, I’ve been blessed to have two great role models in regard to hosting: my Aunt Essie and my grandfather, Paul Lang.

Introduction to Holiday Hosting

Holiday hosting is so much more than simply setting a beautiful table or preparing a delicious meal—it’s about embarking on an emotional journey with your loved ones. Each gathering is an opportunity to create lasting memories, evoke positive emotions, and foster a sense of joy and excitement that lingers long after the last guest has left. Research shows that enjoyable activities and shared experiences are essential for building strong relationships and supporting our psychological well-being. As a hostess, you hold the power to create an atmosphere that delights the senses and uplifts the spirit, making your home a haven of pleasure and connection. By understanding the emotional needs of your guests and crafting entertainment that resonates on a deeper level, you can transform your holiday celebration into a truly unforgettable event. The feelings of anticipation, laughter, and togetherness you create will not only entertain but also nurture the well being of everyone present, including yourself.

My Teacher – My Aunt Essie

She was the ultimate hostess! You knew you were special when she greeted you. Her genuine warmth radiated. She entertained you on an emotional level making you feel you were, at that moment, the center of her attention. Aunt Essie’s empathy allowed her to connect with each guest on a personal level, making every gathering memorable and heartfelt. She was the ‘hostess with the mostest!’ Her natural charm filled her home. Her beautifully set Thanksgiving dining room table set hers apart from others. The aroma of delicious foods, lit candles, and family laughter, hers above all the rest, made for the perfect holiday evening. She orchestrated her dinner gatherings with style.

As children, we have role models. My mother taught me sound values, the desire to be curious, and to always live outside the box. Fear has never been my partner. My Aunt Essie taught me how to make a home sing. She understood intuitively that to be a perfect hostess was an art. Her behavior as a hostess set a powerful example for me to follow, inspiring my own approach to making guests feel welcome. I have strived to be her clone.

My Grandfather

My grandfather Paul taught me to open my door to all those left alone during the holiday seasons of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah. Every year he rented the ballroom in the Kankakee Hotel in Kankakee by the Sea. Without a word spoken, he taught me the importance of helping those in need. His actions showed how concerns for others’ well-being and social reputation can motivate such inclusive behavior, inspiring others to act with kindness. As humans, we are naturally driven to connect and support one another, especially during the holidays. I wish he was here so I could tell him.

COVID19 and Elsewhere

Unfortunately, COVID-19 and separation mandates have hindered all of us in Elsewhere. We have become a lonely and isolated group of citizens. It is time to re-evaluate our lifestyles. Spending time with loved ones can enrich our lives and support our emotional well-being. What better way than to open our doors and hearts once again? Let’s be hostesses again, darling!

My mother’s message is in my head: “Susan, it is time to pick yourself up and start all over again!”

Now, back to my Aunt Essie.

I was her second daughter. We were kindred spirits – soul mates. To this day, when I shop for new linens, set a table for my guests, refresh my home for the fall season, or pick out fresh vegetables at our outdoor vegetable market across the street from my condo in the sky I think, “Would Aunt Essie choose this ear of corn?”. I can recall even when Aunt Essie left the vegetable stall, the person servicing her felt special.

Passing My Aunt Essie’s Lessons On To You

I learned as a young girl that a successful dinner party rests on the shoulder of the hostess. It is her style, her moxie, so to speak. Style is inner warmth, a flair for understanding detail, and the ability to create an atmosphere that is entertaining and comfortable for your family and guests. Hosting can also positively influence your self image, as the appreciation and praise from guests reinforce your sense of self-worth and confidence. Focusing on the needs and comfort of your guests is essential, as this focus helps ensure everyone feels welcome and relaxed.

You do not need a big budget or a large home to entertain with pizazz. You need a million-dollar smile!

Non Essentials:

A large budget A large home Catering A staff Live entertainment Expensive flowers. (I use wheatgrass down the center of my table and tuck sprigs of flowers that have a floral scent. If I may say so myself, it is very appealing.)

Essentials:

1. A host and hostess who greet their guests at the door exuding their warmth 2. Organizational skills 3. A festive feeling in your home… Lit candles, dim lighting, music, and a fire in the fireplace if you have one 4. A mix of guests and family who are fun and interesting and a few additions that are new to the mix 5. Place cards for each guest 6. Delicious foods 7. An unexpected surprise

“Your parties are your vision” -Honey Good

I love to entertain. I started entertaining with small dinner parties for family and friends in my early 20s. I remember my first dinner party, it was a fondue extravaganza! Everyone participated. Sharing stories and discovering common interests among my guests made the gathering more engaging and memorable. It was a great evening and thus began my career as a hostess. My love for hosting is still going strong!

The Importance of Self Respect in Hosting

At the heart of every successful holiday gathering is a hostess who values her own self respect. When you honor your self-worth and prioritize your emotional well-being, you naturally create an environment where everyone feels respected and valued. Self-improvement and self-awareness are key—by understanding your own needs and boundaries, you can make decisions that support both your happiness and that of your guests. This self-respect allows you to host from a place of confidence and authenticity, making it easier to connect with others and foster meaningful shared experiences. When you engage with your guests on an emotional level, your positive energy becomes contagious, encouraging everyone to relax, open up, and truly enjoy the moment. Remember, the most engaging and memorable gatherings are those where the hostess feels as good as her guests—so never underestimate the power of self-care and self-worth in creating a positive, emotionally rich holiday celebration.

How you can be “the hostess with the mostest”

1. Be a happy party hostess

That is what a successful party needs… a delightful and welcoming hostess! As I mentioned, you don’t need a large home, a lot of money, elaborate food, or entertainment. I have gone to parties given by wealthy friends, which I am sorry to say, were boring. So what is my trick? I enjoy the art of entertaining. I take it seriously! Sparking guests’ interest is key to creating a lively and enjoyable atmosphere, as it encourages discovery and keeps everyone engaged.

2. Know your strengths

The first thing I would advise a hostess to do is to know herself. Plan your parties to suit yourself. For example, I do not like to entertain before sunset. I plan my parties for the evening because I know If I am a happy hostess, my guests will be happy guests. Your party is your vision and you are the commander-in-chief. The parties my husband (I cannot leave out my ultimate concierge!) and I have thrown together range from black tie affairs to large sit-down dinner parties in our home, to the most casual of casual last-minute dinners with friends. It is never hard for me to find a “reason” to entertain.

3. Know how to create a party

One summer day I was at an outdoor market picking out the most luscious-looking vegetables for a salad and flowers for our bedroom. As I held up a beautiful vine-ripe tomato in one hand and a bouquet of long-stemmed pink roses in the other, I thought, “I will host a party around vegetables and roses!” Being willing to explore new ideas like this can lead to unique and memorable gatherings.

I invited three interesting couples, one being a newcomer. I told them to come dressed casually. My ultimate concierge and I greeted our guests. We had French music playing in the background and I presented each woman with a long-stemmed pink rose. They were smiling from ear to ear! My party was off to a great start. As we sat in our den the next surprise was a short lesson on two French wines. I looked up the wine’s history! Remember when entertaining: “Nothing happens by accident.” Conversation flowed among us. Questions were asked. There was laughter galore!

We then sat down for dinner where place cards were at each setting.

Then, I gave them their next surprise. In the center of my dining room table, I placed a large beautiful old French wooden salad bowl (like this one) filled with eight lettuce wedges, whole vine-ripened tomatoes, tall carrots standing up among the lettuce and tomatoes, miniature cucumbers, and small bunches of scallions. Around the bowl were small country French dishes filled with sliced black olives, crumbled blue cheese, bacon bits, two salad dressings, and eight vegetable cutting knives.

“Make your own salad!” were the first words I uttered as they were putting their napkins on their laps! They all looked up at me with their mouths open and laughed! Needless to say, dinner at the “GOOD home” that evening was a huge success. My ultimate concierge and I were delighted hosts. To think, my theme was created as I strolled through an outdoor market!

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

One of the most important gifts you can give yourself—and your guests—during the holidays is the clarity that comes from setting healthy boundaries and clear expectations. By communicating openly about what you can offer and what you need, you create a sense of safety and respect that allows everyone to feel comfortable and engaged. Being mindful of your own emotional responses and recognizing potential challenges helps you navigate the ups and downs of hosting with grace. Setting boundaries isn’t about limiting joy; it’s about creating a positive environment where everyone can feel at ease and truly enjoy the experience. When you take the time to reflect on your own needs and communicate them with kindness, you foster a sense of trust and understanding that makes your gathering all the more special. Remember, a hostess who feels balanced and respected is better able to create an atmosphere where everyone can relax, connect, and feel the positive emotional impact of the celebration.

How to Host a Large Family and Guests Thanksgiving Party

From a fall dinner party to Thanksgiving, I am always standing at the door when my family and guests arrive. I immediately give my guests a kiss and a hug. I invite them into our den and offer them a glass of champagne (check out these delightful champagne flutes!) to celebrate the holiday or send them to my ultimate concierge for a glass of wine or cocktail of their choice (check out these stirrers for an elegant twist). There are arrays of goodies of all sorts on serving platters (like this one)! Music is playing (on my Google Nest Hub of course) and candles are lit – the mood is set. The physical environment, from the lighting to the arrangement of food and drinks, can shape guests’ behaviors and influence their emotional response, helping everyone feel welcome and relaxed.

Each place setting (even when we entertain casually) has the name of my guest. A hostess should be eager to please her guests; not have them wonder where to sit. I use white china place cards and different color magic markers; depending on my theme for the night. They are reusable.

After our guests are seated, my hubby makes a welcoming toast. This is a ritual at our home. At the end of his toast, he asked each family member and guest to raise their glass as he says, God Bless the United States of America.

Everyone is happy as they begin their first course, a plated salad, followed by the main course, and dessert.

Thanksgiving dinner will consist of Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, a sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, cranberry sauce, and string beans with toasted almonds. And for dessert, pumpkin and pecan pie!

Managing Stress and Anxiety as a Hostess

Even the most seasoned hostess can feel the pressure of holiday hosting, but managing stress and anxiety is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and ensuring a joyful experience for all. Recognizing your feelings—whether it’s excitement, anticipation, or a touch of overwhelm—allows you to take proactive steps to care for yourself. Seek support from loved ones, engage in activities that bring you pleasure and joy, and don’t hesitate to take a moment for yourself when needed. Simple strategies like deep breathing, a walk outside, or a few minutes of quiet reflection can help restore your emotional level and keep you feeling positive and engaged. Remember, your well being sets the tone for your gathering; when you feel good, your guests will too. By prioritizing self-care and seeking out moments of calm, you create a sense of ease and connection that makes your holiday celebration truly enjoyable for everyone.

Entertaining with Emotional Engagement. The Best for the Last

A charming hostess wants to add flavor other than food to the celebration of Thanksgiving.

I tell my family and friends a little-known history story that I research about the holiday in hopes they will leave my table with something in their heads! Sharing real-life examples and stories can evoke a range of emotion, including sadness and anger, which are powerful emotions that contribute to a deeper understanding of our beliefs and values.

These emotional moments matter because they connect us as humans and help us find meaningful answers about ourselves and our traditions.

I talk about being grateful, giving thanks, and acknowledging our forefathers who helped make the United States the greatest country in the world.

I then open the table up for conversation because a good hostess always gives her family and guests…the floor.

Evaluating Success and Feedback: Growing as a Holiday Hostess

After the last dish is washed and the final guest has departed, take a moment to reflect on the emotional impact of your holiday hosting. Evaluating your experience and seeking feedback from your guests is a powerful way to foster self-improvement and grow as a hostess. Consider what worked well, what brought the most joy, and where you might want to try new strategies next time. Be open to constructive feedback and use it as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of what makes your gatherings engaging and memorable. Embracing a mindset of ongoing learning and self-improvement not only enhances your skills but also enriches the emotional level of your future celebrations. By seeking out new insights and being willing to adapt, you’ll continue to create experiences that resonate deeply with your guests, strengthening your connections and making each holiday gathering more rewarding than the last.

As a Holiday Hostess, how do you entertain on an emotional level? I’d love to know! Please tell me in the comments below.