Dating Over 50: Embracing Man’s Need to be Needed

August 13, 2018 Published by
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Dating Over 50: Embracing Man's Need to be Needed

By Lisa Copeland

Recently, I was on a plane heading to California.

I was struggling trying to lift my bag into the overhead compartment.

A man standing behind me said, “Can I help you with that?”

Looking up at him, I smiled with relief and gladly said YES!

I was so grateful he came along because I was beginning to worry I might drop my overfilled suitcase on the head of the lady sitting right below the overhead bin.

This kind man took my suitcase and lifted it up as if it was light as a feather.

I thanked him and told him how much I appreciated his help.

(I’m sure that lady was grateful to him as well because she’d been looking at me with fear in her eyes and her hands over her head before this man had stepped up.)

At this point in the story, magic happened, as it always does when you thank and appreciate a man.

His whole body puffed up with pride and joy, and I truly believe if there’d been room in that aisle, he’d have strutted his stuff down to his seat in the way only men can do.

And it’s all because a woman allowed him to help her and expressed gratitude for what he’d done. Women need to start embracing a man’s need to be needed.

Let the Man Help You!

Before working with me, many of my clients with successful careers would have told this kind man, “No thank you, I can do it myself.”

The man’s whole body would have caved in from being pushed away from something he was wired to do.

Learning to balance the fine line of doing it all yourself and allowing someone to help you is one of the biggest problems my clients in high-powered positions face.

Why? Because they’re calling the shots all day long and they think they’ll look weak if they let a man help them.

The problem is when you don’t let a man help you, you’re training him to do less for you and you’re losing his cooperation.

Remember, a man’s cooperation is something you need and want, especially in a relationship.

When I work with clients in a VIP experience, I always ask them to think about how they can make space in their lives to need a man.

Men are wired to fix for you and to keep you safe, protected and provided for.

This makes men feel needed.

Dating Over 50: Embracing Man's Need to be Needed

Today’s Takeaway: Men Need to Feel Needed

If a man doesn’t feel needed, he moves on.

When I share this concept with my professional alpha clients they get silent. They can’t imagine what this would feel like.

For so long they’ve had to do everything for themselves.

They tell me they’re tired of doing it all alone. They’d love to have a partner who could do some of the heavy liftings both physically and emotionally.

In the past, many of them had been married to beta males who expected these women to make all the decisions in their relationship.

Over time, this exhausted them and they began dreaming of the alpha male who would come into their lives and just take over.

Not as easy as it seems.

To make room for an alpha male to come into your life, you have to be willing to let men help you.

That means making space in your life for a man to feel needed by you in some way.

Some Simple Steps

Here’s your homework….

  • Give some thought as to why you would need a man in your life… not just why you want him.
  • An easy way to learn to receive is to start asking men for their help on a daily basis, whether it’s opening the door for you or picking up something you dropped.
  • Thank and appreciate men when they help you and watch their body language shift before your eyes.

About the Author

Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50’s dating. She’s the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50. Her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, “5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man,” visit www.findaqualityman.com.

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3 Comments

  • Dianne says:

    I am a 67 woman that has not had a man in her life for the past 18 years. It has been a hard and still is a rough struggle. My late husband that passed away was an alpha man and i enjoyed every minute of it. I am an independent woman but I still love the ideal of men helping me when I need it. I just wish I could find that special alpha man again but it is hard at my age. Most men in the age bracket are looking for younger woman to make them feel more like a man. But to let you know I loved this blog and actually all of your blogs. Thanks and keep up the great work.

  • Akaisha says:

    This is such good advice.
    I am married to an alpha male also and I love it.. Let me say that I’m very good at what I do in life, but I cannot do “everything.” Nor do I want to. Saying “Thank you” costs me nothing. It can make a great connection. Asking for help without whining is also a good thing. I think men want a combination of someone with spark and someone who appreciates their abilities and talents. What do you think?

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