We All Have Questions
I cannot tell you the warm feeling I get when I receive your ASK HONEY questions. I share my thoughts but think long and hard before my fingers type out an answer because I know my answer is very important to you just as your question is very important to me.
Ask Honey is near and dear to my heart because we all have questions we want to be answered, and Ask Honey opens that door.
There are no last names mentioned, no email address shown and anyone can write to me as anonymous.
The questions you send are read by others, and if they have the same question, my answer is in front of them as well.
The questions today are interesting. I hope you think the answers are also!
Ask Honey – Advice For Women
March 5, 2020
I’ve always considered myself a survivor, the type who could make lemonade out of lemons. But I find that now I’m tired. I feel worn out at times after 49 years of always holding it together. Sometimes I just want someone else to be in charge, to take care of me.
We have plans to go to Italy in June. Once again, I’ve made all the plans, paid for both my son and grandson and here I sit once again trying to figure out what to do. I realize this is not earth-shattering and can’t compare to how you dealt with your sudden loss. But at 67, I’m just overwhelmed from trying to figure out what to do. Thank you, Honey.
You are still a survivor! You accomplished the first step towards a solution when you acknowledged that you are tired and overwhelmed and asked for my advice.
I promise you will make sweet lemonade out of this lemon if you listen to my thoughts on how to survive. For 49 years you held the family together and made all the plans and now you are tired and overwhelmed. After 49 years you trained your husband too well! The problem is you spoiled him to think he could always count on you because you proved you can take charge and get things done. Now you need his help and he probably is at a loss on how to help.
So, you have to turn to outside sources for help. In this case, you can make sweet lemonade out of your lemon when you pick up the phone and hire a travel agent. Hiring an agent does not make your trip more expensive.
Choosing a travel agent is tricky. That is why I would call Protravel International. They have been in business for 35 years and have a five-star recommendation. It is one of the best and largest if not the best and largest travel company in the USA. My husband and I have used them for over 20 plus years and traveled the world with them with no problem. They buy our plane tickets, book our hotel, tours, restaurants and plan our itinerary and everything else in-between.
And, may I add a bit more of my thoughts on this topic… hire a service for other tasks that are too hard for you to handle and be the supervisor, not the worker.
Do you have any topics for an 84-year-old Nonna?
Thank you for turning to me.
On the subjects of topics, I try and write for all ages of women over 50. If I knew the topics you were interested in reading I would write about them. Would you mind writing back to me in an email a list of topics that interest you and I will add them to my list of stories?
Until then if you go to honeygood.com and scroll the pages, I am sure you will find some interesting blogs that will peak your fancy.
I am so glad you wrote to me and I am looking forward to your next email with your list. It can be short or long.
I’m interested in going to Greece and the Greek Islands in September, and I know you travel a lot through your writings. I would like your recommendation for travel agents or agencies to begin my search. I thank you and so enjoy your columns.
I am happy to share the travel company of our choice. My husband and I have taken 90 percent of our trips with Protravel International. They are 35 years old with a 5-star rating and are located in many cities across The USA. Visit their website and I can promise you will have a stress-free trip traveling with Protravel.
Do make sure you have an agent who has actually traveled to your destination points. At the beginning of your conversation ask that question. If they have not taken the trip kindly ask for an agent who has been to Greece and the Greek Islands.
Have a marvelous time. I can guarantee you a stress-free time if you follow this advice!
I love my three grandchildren (ages 19 to 30). They are respectful and say they love me and greet me with a big hug. BUT in-between time I feel as though I don’t matter.
They never ask how I am doing or show interest in my activities (past or present). Yes, I do reciprocate… How do I handle this, please?
You are not alone. One of my close friends, a very warm and bubbly grandmother spent Thanksgiving with her children and grandchildren.
She came home and told a group of us that the entire day she felt ‘invisible.’ She said she knew her grandchildren loved her but they paid no attention to her; they paid attention to each other and her children paid attention to the other parents in the group.
I am sure your grandchildren love you. And I am sure they carry your lessons in their heads. Little things you have said over the years.
My grandchildren live across America. To stay connected I do the following: I text back and forth all the time. I ‘initiate’ the texts. So should you. Today I texted with three of my grandchildren and a fourth called me for advice.
I know this is because I show genuine interest in what they are doing in their lives. For example, I texted my grandson Jack who just moved into his first pad. I told him I was so excited and wanted to share his new apartment with him even though I lived far away. I received six photos and a phone call and an invitation to stay with him and his roommate! The point is I show interest and my interest builds trust and love and closeness even though we live so far away from one another.
My husband and I visit them. I am the instigator. I tell my husband we have to go. It is our family. While we are visiting they don’t hover around me but they note I made that trip to be with them and that alone builds a bond.
I don’t believe in buying love. I don’t come bearing gifts. The gift is seeing each other.
We have taken some of them on trips for as long as six days. That is a real bonding experience.
We invite them to stay with us and share birthdays and holidays.
I tell them stories about their family traditions, their history. They love that. It bonds us.
The important answer to your question is: I initiate everything. I don’t wait for them to text or call or email me. I don’t stand on ceremony because I get the picture that it is up to a grandmother to put herself out there for her grandchildren 100% of the time. They are busy and we are two generations ahead of them. They have nothing in common with us but a family bond. So, it is up to us to lead the way. It is never too late!
I hope this helps.
We are all GRANDWOMEN with moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.