How to Keep the Spark in Your Marriage: Subscribe to the Magazine

Some of you, dear readers, have been married for 20, 30, 40 or more than 50 years! Over those decades, you and your partner have built a rich history together, filled with shared experiences and milestones. And while a long-term relationship can have significant rewards — as well as challenges — such as having a partner to share your joys and sorrows with, keeping the romantic spark after 50 can be difficult.

Let me be clear, I’m not writing about friendship, companionship, partnership… I am talking SIZZLE! Do you follow me, friends? Many couples find themselves struggling with this, so you are not alone.

If the sizzle is lacking in your marriage, and if it’s something you want to change, today I am sharing some surprisingly easy ways to reignite the flames of passion with your long-term partner. The amazing impact of prioritizing your marriage can transform your family’s well-being and bring a renewed sense of relief and joy. For example, I know a couple who dedicated one night per week to reconnecting, and it truly reignited their passion alive. But, make no mistake, while these suggestions are easy to implement, they also require creativity and commitment.

When your relationship began, you may have been wildly in love. Maybe you met by chance, and looking back, it was anyone’s guess where your future together would lead. And yet, over time, you begin to focus your attention on work, your home, children, and grandchildren more and less on keeping the sizzle alive. Most people tend to prioritize these responsibilities, sometimes at the expense of romance. A life without sizzle works for some, but for others it feels as if something is missing.

Overcoming challenges in long term relationships

Every long-term relationship, no matter how strong, will face its share of challenges. Life has a way of throwing curveballs—busy schedules, raising children, work stress, and the everyday routine can all take a toll on your sexual desire and sex life. It’s easy for the spark to dim when you’re juggling family, kids, and the demands of daily life. But the good news is, with a little effort and commitment, you can keep the spark alive and even rekindle the passion that brought you together in the early years of your marriage.

One of the most effective ways to maintain sexual chemistry and intimacy is to prioritize quality time together. Scheduling a regular date night—even if it’s just once a month—can do wonders for your connection. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; sometimes, the little things make the biggest impact. A handwritten note left on the pillow, a spontaneous kiss in the kitchen, or simply holding hands during a walk can reignite feelings of romance and remind you both of the excitement you felt at the beginning.

Communication is another key ingredient in a strong marriage. Make time to talk, not just about the logistics of life, but about your feelings, dreams, and even your fantasies. Being open and honest with your partner helps create a safe space where both of you can express your needs and desires. This kind of connection can lead to a more fulfilling sex life and a deeper sense of intimacy.

Don’t be afraid to spice things up by trying new things together. Whether it’s exploring a new hobby, planning a surprise date, or even just rearranging your bedroom to create a more intimate atmosphere, new experiences can bring a sense of adventure and fun back into your relationship. Remember, it’s not always about the big things—sometimes, it’s the small, thoughtful gestures that keep the fire burning.

Being each other’s best friend is just as important as being lovers. Support one another through life’s ups and downs, celebrate each other’s successes, and be there during the hard times. Understanding and speaking your partner’s love language—whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, or physical touch—can help you stay connected and keep the spark alive.

Above all, remember that keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship is an ongoing journey. It takes effort, creativity, and a willingness to put your relationship first, even when life gets busy. By making a conscious commitment to nurture your connection, you can create a strong, passionate, and intimate partnership that stands the test of time. So go ahead—plan that date night, surprise your spouse with a little love note, or simply take a moment to hold hands and enjoy each other’s company. The spark is yours to keep alive, every single day.

Here’s how to keep the spark alive in your relationship

Step one- You have a problem and you want to fix it. Admitting that to yourself, and likely to your partner, is the first step in reigniting a hot romance. Can you have an honest conversation about the state of your sex life? Yes, you can.

Step two- Break out of your rut and try something new! Routine is the enemy of passion. Do not stop trying new things! Commit to new adventures, new activities and new experiences. No, I am not speaking of new sexual experiences here – I am speaking of new adventures that will thrill you to the core, make you laugh and live together and remind you both that your partnership is full of excitement and possibility, all based in love.

Here’s a tip: Make a monthly “adventure date” and do something with your partner that the two of you have never done together before!

Step three- Have a conversation. Mental stimulation really does stimulate other aspects of your marriage or partnership, too. Even debating — when done respectfully—can help keep things interesting. Meals are a great time to connect—get to know each other in new ways, as if you are dating again.

Need help finding topics to discuss? Here are so topics sure to stir interesting conversation:

Name three countries you would like to visit.

How would you spend 10,000,000 dollars? 

If you could try out a new occupation for a year, what would it be?

If you could rewind to any point in your past, what would you want to relive?

If you could take lessons to become an expert at anything, what would you take?

How would you spend a perfect day alone?

What would you want us to do together for the next ten years if you knew they were our last?

What’s the most honest thing you have ever done?

Hollywood called, they want to make a movie about your life, who would play you?

Name one thing you miss about our dating years? (Then talk about how you can make it a part of your dating again.)

Step four- Talk about sex. Yes, I said it. Be frank about your fantasies and what you desire from your partner. If you are not sure where to start, start by reminiscing about the things your partner did when you were first married that excited you.

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” – Lao Tzu

Put your head, your heart and your senses to work and you can, most certainly, reignite the passions in your relationship. Be brave, dear readers, and if you want to reignite the romantic spark after 50, go after it!