How to Self-Nurture During Trying Times in Elsewhere

Darling, it is early morning on a sunny day. Except for my closet and files, every cabinet, drawer, and closet in our home is organized. A smile crosses my face because I am satisfied with this part of my project. I walk through the rooms of our apartment in the sky and notice the placement of objects from our home in Shangrila. Again, I sigh with delight. I have accomplished my goal. 83 boxes filled with items have found a place to call home.

In a few hours, an art hanger is dropping in to decide with me where I should hang large pieces of our art that hung in a very spacious home. This task requires the talent, care, and skill of a professional. Lastly, on November 17th California Closet will build out spaces for my crystal and China, etc.. Darling, I recommend this company. They know how to utilize every nook and cranny and the company is very reasonable, cost-wise.

Focusing On Our Home

For the past six weeks, I have focused on our home. The project has been pleasurable because the end goal was to make our apartment in the sky a haven in a hectic world, a sanctuary in Elsewhere. Creating a peaceful environment like this can help restore your energy and uplift your mood.

I am sitting at my computer staring out the window 71 floors up. There is silence from the storm. No voices blasting negative commentary from a television but instead, soft music is coming from Alexa. The only damper, I know she is spying on me! As adaptable as I thought I was, I will never adjust to the invasion of life in Elsewhere.

How Can a Woman, Just Be?

Now that our home is in order, it is time to keep a declaration I made. I promised I would begin the process of taking the time to ‘care for me’ emotionally and physically. In sum, I know self-nurturing is self-growth. A woman who self-nurturers her mind and her body shows the world a positive outward behavior and bearing. I realize this project will completely fill my mind and attention.

As I think of the project ahead of me, I know it will be absorbing because it is far greater than lighting candles around a woman’s hot bath as she luxuriates in suds and oil. The hot bath is the symbol. The meat of the project is a woman’s decision to put herself first in areas that are necessary for her to find peace from within. It is her personal recipe. Self-nurturing is an act of intention, where you purposefully choose to care for yourself and recognize your own worth.

What would you like to work on for your personal benefit? Your relationships? Your health? Maybe your confidence? Or your authenticity? Conquests at work or home? In essence, it’s your decision to want to welcome change. This is not easy but the end result is dynamite. How can you begin the process of self-nurturing? Slowly, darling, slowly. It is not easy to tackle especially when you live in Elsewhere. Often, women are conditioned to practice self-sacrifice, putting others’ needs before their own, but shifting from self-sacrifice to self-nurture is essential for true well-being.

A Woman in a Rut

A change should take place when a woman feels out of sorts with herself. A light bulb bursts inside demanding her attention. When there are too many days of feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, it can be a clear signal that self-nurture is needed to break the cycle and regain balance. This negative burst of feelings goes on until she gives in and decides to live with her feelings or she says, “I am in a rut! I need a change.”

The funk I am in didn’t happen overnight. It began at the end of April, six or seven weeks after the government told us we had to live in self-isolation. At that time I did not mind staying at home with my Ultimate Concierge and pooch, America. What I began to mind was Government control and the knowledge that 385 million of us obeyed, without a sound! An entire Nation! We were denied access to our relatives who were left alone to suffer and die in nursing homes and in hospitals. This thought hit me one day last April and I felt scared that one command could control the lives of a Nation.

More and More…

The next fright occurred as I watched cities burning, businesses destroyed, our national monuments smashed to the ground, people killed for no reason, down with the police and startling truths that there was hate all around. I felt despair and raging anger. Acknowledging and processing these emotions is an important part of self-nurture, as understanding our emotions helps us manage them for overall well-being. These feelings only grew because what was happening would not go away. So, I waited and watched with bated breath to feel a positive change in the air. A voice in my head kept telling me to just hang in there. It is now nine months later and I am no longer the me in me because my faith in humanity has been shattered.

“How could this happen to me?” I asked myself. Even through my most difficult trials, I never lost my holly-go-lightly personality of positive hope. I can’t find it now. Not at all.

Elsewhere has taken its toll.

How to Begin the Road to Self-Nurture; Have a Goal

Over the last month, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. Working alone putting our home in the order provided me that opportunity. As I cleared shelves and organized our home I was somehow also clearing and organizing my mind. If I enjoyed the work and reward of giving loving care to our home I could certainly put together a plan to organize and focus on giving loving care to myself. This is an opportunity to develop new habits and routines for self-nurture, focusing on intentional practices that support my well-being.

My goal is to restore a sense of harmony back into my everyday way of life. This leads me back to the old Chinese practitioners and the mysterious art of the placement of things and sounds in our home. It is known as Feng Shui. It is a way of living life through ancient wisdom. By incorporating self-nurturing practices into my daily life, I can create a more mindful and balanced environment.

I learned the teachings of Feng Shui many years ago on my travels to Malaysia and China from Asian friends. I spent time taking lessons with a Feng Shui practitioner when we were building Shangrila and learned that simple changes in the design of a home spark natural potential and good fortune. For example, wind chimes in certain locations bring soothing and restorative peace. I brought two sets back from California to hang in the windows in two rooms of our home. And, I will leave the windows ajar and hear my chimes.

It is time to mother myself, as they say in Feng Shui. Self nurturance involves creating environments and engaging in activities that nourish both mind and body, such as making cozy spaces, enjoying nourishing food, and spending time in nature. It is time to listen to my deepest needs and act on them. After all, if I do not seek, I will never find. If you don’t seek you will never find.

Embracing a Healthy Lifestyle as Self-Nurture

Darling, one of the most loving acts of self-nurture we can offer ourselves is to embrace a healthy lifestyle. This isn’t about perfection or rigid routines—it’s about honoring our bodies and minds with gentle, consistent care. When we choose to nourish ourselves with healthy foods, we’re not just feeding our bodies; we’re sending a message of self love and respect to our very core. A colorful plate, rich in nutrients, can lift our spirits and help manage stress, while also supporting our physical health and emotional well being.

Regular movement, whether it’s a brisk walk, easy to follow exercises, or a restorative yoga session, helps to release anxiety and boost our self esteem. Even a few minutes of stretching in your first free moment can make a world of difference. And let’s not forget the importance of sleep—those precious hours of rest are when our bodies and minds repair, recharge, and prepare for a new day. Prioritizing sleep is a powerful way to nurture your own needs and protect your health.

Harvard psychologist Alice Domar reminds us that self-nurture is essential for women’s health. By practicing healthy habits, we create a foundation of well being that allows us to feel energized, motivated, and ready to embrace life’s joys and challenges. Remember, darling, taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s a beautiful practice of self love that ripples out into every area of your life.

The Power of Community and Connection

While self-nurture often begins within, it flourishes in the company of others. The power of community and connection is a gift we can give ourselves, especially when life feels overwhelming. Spending time with beloved family members and friends, sharing stories, laughter, or even a quiet cup of tea, can soothe negative thoughts and lift low self esteem. These moments of togetherness remind us that we are not alone on our journey.

Engaging in social activities—perhaps joining a book club, volunteering, or simply reaching out to a friend—can help create new relationships and deepen existing ones. As Brene Brown so beautifully says, connection is a fundamental human need. When we nurture our bonds with others, we foster a sense of belonging and inner peace that supports our mental health and emotional well being.

If you ever find yourself feeling isolated, darling, remember that reaching out is an act of self care. Allow yourself to be supported, and offer your support in return. By creating a circle of nurturing relationships, you’ll find strength, comfort, and a renewed sense of peace in the present moment. In the art of self-nurture, community is both a balm and a blessing.

Beginning my Journey of Self-Nurture

Women often face unique pressures and expectations, making it especially important to address their specific self-nurture needs. I have decided how to begin my journey to self-nurture. Spending time on self-nurture is essential for overall well-being. Shifting your perspective can make self-nurture feel more accessible and meaningful. The first step will be to regain calmness. Engaging in self nurturing activities, such as yoga and mindful movement, can help restore balance and support emotional health.

How? I began taking Yoga one month ago. Developing new habits for ongoing self-nurture is key to lasting change. Yoga and treadmill routines are both self care activities that nurture the mind and body. And, I am taking two classes a week virtually. It has been very difficult for me to do remotely because I am a beginner. But, I am sticking to the program because of my teacher. These activities help me feel good both physically and emotionally. She brings the best out of me. As soon as her studio reopens I will take Yoga in class. Practicing self-nurture can be helpful in managing stress and emotions. Self-nurture also improves your relationship with yourself and others.

The next item on my list is to get on my treadmill for 30-45 minutes each day to rid myself of anxiety, anger, and hopefully calm me down while I am forced to live in Elsewhere. Listening to your body and its needs during these activities is important for self-nurture.

Now, darling, I have given you food for thought. If you had not considered self-nurturing pick your personal area. Remember to focus on your own life and well-being as you explore self-nurture.

And if you do self-nurture yourself, please send me your ideas. Including healthy food choices as part of your self-nurture routine can make a big difference. Treating yourself to small rewards is also a wonderful way to nurture yourself. Self-nurture is truly an act of love, a gift you give yourself.

I need all the help I can get. Treat yourself as a whole person deserving of care and compassion. Show yourself tender concern as you develop your self-nurture habits.

Engaging in self-nurturing activities can help you feel nurtured and supported, even during challenging times. But, I AM smiling; I swear. Girl Scouts Honor!

Adults often neglect self-nurture, but prioritizing it is essential for lasting health and happiness.

What do you do to self-nurture during these trying times? Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page. 

 

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