Darlings, today’s blog is written by the wonderful dating and romance expert, Lisa Copeland. She gives us suggestions about how we can better understand men and provides five tips to jumpstart your love life after 50. I do hope you enjoy!
Step 1: Lighting your Inner Glow
Want to know what really turns a man on? It’s your confidence. I know it may be hard to believe, but it’s true. When you feel good about yourself and the life you lead, you actually glow and this is what attracts men to you.
So how do you get this confidence? Start by writing down the top ten things you love about you, then list the top ten things you are really good at. Lastly, note the top ten things you love about your personality.
When I do this exercise with private clients, I ask if I can share something with them about a friend of mine. I read the 30 traits we worked on together and when I’m done, I’ll say what do you think of my friend? With awe in their voice, they often say, “Wow, she sounds amazing.” This exercise is really powerful and can help you get back in touch with all the wonderful things about yourself you may have forgotten.
Step 2: Understanding Men
Recently, a couple of my friends and I were sitting around drinking our favorite martinis. They started laughing as I shared the real reason I believe most women have a hard time finding the right man. It has to do with looking for a woman in a man’s body. Their eyes nearly popped out as I explained that women speak a language that is community-oriented. When you ask another woman to please help you do something, she will say Sure because she too is about making the community a better place for everyone.
But men hear those same words as an order much like the orders their mothers gave them when they would say things like Honey, could you please move your shoes to your room. This is because men are hero-oriented, meaning their DNA coding is to step up and keep you safe, provided for and protected
You can trigger a man’s hero response to help you by using these four magic words, I need your help or the five magic words, Could you do me a favor? Emotionally-healthy men want to make your life easier and by using the language men speak and hear, life with them can be a lot more fun!
Step 3: Getting A Clear Vision of Your Mr. Right
This is an important step in the process of finding love that so many women skip because they think when the right man shows up, they’ll know he’s the one. I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s not true. What you will know is you have instant attraction and chemistry, but that’s about it.
Many women often attract the same type of man over and over again. That’s because he feels familiar. You’ve dated a version of him your entire life. But if your type worked, you would already be with him.
So you need a new type when you’re going out to date. When I work with clients, we create a tool called A Quality Man Template. This tool helps define the type of man that will make them happy in their 50s, 60s and 70s versus using the qualities that made them happy in their 20s. It actually opens up the possibilities for finding Mr. Right. Interestingly, women who find their guy often tell me they are so happy and without their new version of the right man, they would have never seen him.
Step 4: Navigating the Online Dating Scene
Online dating is one of the easiest ways to meet a lot of men. You may assume online dating is fraught with perils. However, there are a few easy fixes when you’re looking for the right man online.
Scammers are on every dating site. However, with the right profile and pictures, you can often avoid contact with them.
The right men not contacting you. Some of this has to do with paid dating sites having a lot of non-paying browsers and not enough men who paid that can write to you.
Men are disappearing. Online dating is similar to being in a candy store where you have lots of choices. The secret here is to go into this with the mindset of meeting someone new and interesting rather than thinking he may be the one.
Step 5: Meeting Men in Your Local Area
There is a huge advantage to meeting men in real life instead of online. Online dating is one-dimensional. You see a picture and make a snap decision about someone based on how they look. In real life, you get to experience a man’s personality, which can make him a lot more attractive to you than a photo would.
So where are the men in real life? They are everywhere. Get involved in activities that both men and women enjoy. A great place to start is Meetup.com. They have hiking groups, happy hours, games, golf, wine tastings and so much more.
Lisa Copeland is a leading internationally recognized Love Coach and Dating Expert for women over 50. She’s the Amazon Best-Selling Author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 and a regular Huffington Post contributor and has appeared on ABC and Fox. She inspires and teaches women how to feel confident, empowered and joyful dating after 50. You can get a free copy of her eBook “The 5 Little Known Secrets to Finding a Quality Man” at www.findaqualityman.com