My grandchildren have been on my mind almost constantly of late. I am sad and happy. Sad, because Friday was the first night of Passover and my large family, including Shelly and myself, will be celebrating in seven different cities in seven different States across America! I wish I could celebrate with my family. My heart is heavy. I am feeling melancholy.

On the other hand I am feeling joyful because…

I am looking forward to happiness around ‘my corner’ darlings! Next month, my husband, Shelly, and I will be attending several family events. We will be with our families, each one so special. Joshua’s Bar Mitzvah in Chicago, Joe’s college graduation in Oregon, Michael’s high school graduation in Arizona and Scott’s wedding in Texas… and in between Shelly and I are going to Panama! We will be ‘in the air again’ with happy events darlings and I am excited beyond excited.

And yet, I can’t shake my woes even with my around the corner, soon-to-come happiness.

“How can I make a bad situation better?” I ask myself. “What can I do to lift my spirits on Passover without my family?”

I take a shower because, as crazy as it may seem, my shower is where I do my best thinking, darlings!  As warm water cascades over me I put myself in a state of mindfulness and live into my answer.

“I will write an email to my Grands! My words of endearment and my personal message on Passover will be with them. Psychologically, I will feel a bond.”

I sit down at my computer; place my freshly painted red nails — I am into red nail polish now darlings — on my keyboard and write the following words to all the Grands:

Dear Grands of Mine,

Happy Passover!

I am thinking of all of you tonight. Lots of happy thoughts are running through my mind. Most importantly, I love you all to the moon and am very proud of all of you.

Your parents have raised you with sound values. When I am with you, though not often enough, I observe your actions and listen to your thoughts and am overjoyed by your depth.

As a young child and up until the age of eighteen, as you all know,I grew up in Kankakee by the Sea. (A name I penned because you know how passionate I feel about the ocean.)

What you do not know is that I was one of three Jewish children in my high school class of four hundred students. Your grandmother helped her friends decorate their Christmas trees with beautiful ornaments; sang Christmas carols, went to midnight mass at Christmas, decorated Easter eggs and baskets, and learned the importance of respecting all religions while staunchly maintaining my Jewish heritage and religion as a young child, young girl and now, your Honey. I hope you will always do the same.

Our family continues to grow! We are becoming a wonderful mix of many nationalities and religions. Israeli, Iranian, Korean, and Christian… so far! I smile to myself in wonderment ‘at this happening.’ Who knows what lies in store as our family continues to grow? Only in America!! I know it will be amazing because each and every one of you is very special.

Tonight marks the beginning of Passover, my dear and cherished Grands. The holiday represents Jewish freedom from slavery in Egypt; the writing of Jewish law in the Torah, and the 10 commandments, the birth of our Nation, Israel. It is a day to celebrate your heritage and religion with pride; to respect others faiths and most importantly…to love, protect and honor our family, forever.

I love you all to the moon!

Devotedly,

Your Honey

I push send and hear ‘woosh.’ I feel a sense of relief; my sadness lifts. I am now ready to dress for a Passover dinner with my husband’s sister and brother-in-law and some of their children. I am now looking forward to the evening.

I don my new red lipstick and matching shiny red gloss that matches my freshly painted red nails, darlings! I slip into my white suit and high platforms; put on my jewelry and say to Shelly as we continue to dress, “I just wrote the Grands. I feel uplifted and I am back to my happy self!”

And then I hear our telephone ring. It is my grandson Robbie and his wife Noel. They loved my email! And then, my daughter takes the phone and we wish each other a happy Passover and sign off with ‘I love you.’

And then, darlings, my iPhone begins signaling that I have emails and text messages! They are all from my Grands! I am overjoyed!

As we drive to dinner I wonder if my Grands will store the memory of my Passover email in their minds. Probably not… but being an optimist, I think to myself, ‘you never know.’

My thoughts turn to my two loving grandmothers and their valuable gifts that are stored in my head. My goal is to mirror them. What an example they set for me. I smile, get out of the car, Shelly takes my hand and I am smiling.