I am falling in love all over again with the moods of the seasons. Have you ever thought of comparing the seasons of the year to your marriage? Each season sparks an aura; a personality of its own. There is the flow of harmony and growth as one season passes into the next just as the seasons of a marriage. I am fixated on the seasons because every month has its particular reasons just as every marriage has its season of different reasons.

Marriage and seasons

Just as the seasons evolve, so does marriage. There are times during each season to feel its roar and there are times we know it needs to simply be… Though there are challenging temperamental storms and sunless days during fall, winter, spring, and summer, each season is filled with its personal attitude of positivity. There is a multiplication of sunny days and rainy days but the stimulation of growth never ceases near the Sea or desert with its own majesty.

There are periods in marriage, like the seasons, of introspective and unknowing personal growth. A grumpy day will morph into an Ah-Ha sunny day and you’ll say out loud, “I get it!” And, the sun will shine in all its glory. Just like the seasons…the grey in the snow will turn glistening white and the desert will bloom with flowers on top of cacti. It is all a marvel.

Yes, it is all a marvel to me … the flow of life, sweet reader. Sometimes you have to swim upstream like the Salmon and at other times you can float in peace as positive emotions buoy you up as the current carries you downstream. The point is to never stop flowing and flowering…like the seasons.

Reflecting on the past seasons of marriage, we see how lessons learned and memories made continue to shape our growth and deepen our understanding as we move forward together.

Introduction to Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful and complex journey, one that unfolds over the course of years with all the richness and variety of the seasons themselves. A successful marriage doesn’t just happen by chance—it is the result of commitment, patience, and a willingness to grow together through life’s many changes. After more than 30 years of marriage, I can say with certainty that a healthy marriage is built on a foundation of trust, respect, and open communication. These are the pillars that allow spouses to weather storms and celebrate joys, hand in hand.

Throughout the years of marriage, I have learned that the most important lessons often come from the everyday moments—those small acts of kindness, the shared laughter, and the quiet support during tough times. Whether you are just starting out or celebrating your 30th anniversary, the best marriage advice I can offer is to cherish your relationship and never stop investing in it. Quality time together, honest conversations, and a shared sense of purpose are what keep a marriage strong and vibrant. In this post, I’ll share the wisdom and advice that have helped my husband and me build a lasting, loving partnership—lessons that I hope will inspire you on your own journey.

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My Ultimate Concierge and The Seasons

I continue to fall in love all over again each season with my husband, Shelly. When we met I thought I could not possibly love him more. I was wrong. With each passing year and each season we are together, my love grows. He is my soulmate, my best girlfriend, and my true love. He is also my best friend, someone I trust and rely on every day. No matter where I am, ‘he is all around me.’ Like the seasons of the year.

My whirlwind courtship reminds me of the seasons. A gust of wind, the leaves moving gently in the trees and the sweet smell of flowers touched all my senses and swept me off my feet the moment I laid eyes on him!  It was like waves crashing on the shore that thrust me off the ground into his waiting arms. He took my breath away.

We were married twice; twice in the month of December. The second time on the Island of Maui by a Kahuna, a high priest. Our second marriage was a meaningful reaffirmation of our commitment and taught us the value of growing together. It was at sunset on the shoreline of the Pacific Ocean. Thus the month of December is my favorite month of the year. Our wedding was a true celebration of love, marking a special milestone in our lives. It is the month that celebrates love worldwide.

The fall seasons and marriage

I love the fall because there is energy in the air.

We clean our closets and drawers by paring them down.  Energetically, we then fill them up with the newest style of fall makeup, colorful kitchen utensils, and of course new shoes and accessories. We sink our teeth into our calendars, putting in reminders for the coming months. Then we search Amazon for the best calendar for the new year. Social and charitable organizations gear up and we delve in and help.

There is a crispness in the air for outdoor walks, bike rides, and signing up for new classes. We recharge and wonder in anticipation if new acquaintances will enter our lives.

Fall is all about energy. I always feel its’ rush but also a bit melancholy because It’s the time of the year when the birds fly off to warmer weather, the trees begin to lay bare, the grass turns brown and flower beds rest empty. The days are shorter and the nights grow longer. I don’t find comfort in the change.

While I am in love with the different moods of the seasons, I am least in love with the fall of the year so I take this time of the year to rejuvenate and refresh myself, our home, and thoughts of what will be over the holidays with family togetherness and travel, spending quality time with kids and children, fine-tuning my wardrobe and making a concerted effort to  ‘simply be’ as I logically think about a bucket list for the seasons, I love to celebrate, ahead. I am glad to have this opportunity to focus on myself and recharge before the busy holiday season.

The winter seasons and marriage

Next up, there is Winter. I fall in love all over again with winter because of the holidays and fireplaces burning aglow. Love is in full bloom. I love winter because it is a time of love.

Families gather together for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah. Winter is a time of giving to those in need and visiting our dear loved ones. We feel differently with the change of the seasons. Winter encompasses the time for celebrations and togetherness with unceasing love for family and friends.

The downsides of winter include shortened days and freezing weather. It can also be a time to notice warning signs in our relationships—subtle shifts or tensions that, if addressed early, can prevent bigger issues later. We women over 50 must flow with the days, be wisened in thought, be grateful for our blessings and give back to others in need.

The spring seasons and marriage

Spring represents harmony. Our windows fly open. The fresh air rushes in. Birds are again chirping and the branches of trees turn from brown to a stunning true green. Spring is definitely my favorite season of the year. To Life. To Life. To life.

It’s time to sweep our homes clean, replant our gardens and put our warm clothes away. Scrabble and other board games are shelved. We are back in harmony with the outdoors and nature. It is wise to approach marriage and this new season with a spirit of renewal and openness, embracing the changes that come with spring.

I cover our bed with duvets in flowered designs and bring out my floral-patterned dishes. The winter clothes are then purged from my closet. I delight in brightening up my wardrobe with whites, florals, summer sandals, and my Panama hat.

I am one happy woman in harmony with spring. Once again I see flowers on my walks with America and green leaves bursting through previously bare branches.

People come out of hibernation, lavishing on the thought of once again going out into the world. They feast their eyes on a rebirth of nature and people they have not seen during the long winter months.

A breath of fresh air surrounds me, the days are getting longer and yes, you have guessed it–I never fall out of love with spring. It is my favorite time of the year.

The summer seasons and marriage

I fall in love with summer all over again, as it is a continuation of spring. Flowers burst out in fuller bloom and the branches of the tree are dressed in their finest greenery.

Lake Michigan, outside my window, looks like a sheet of sheer glass calming all of my senses. Sunrises occur earlier and sunsets take place each day much later. I smile more, walk more, and see more friends. I indulge myself in more shopping and travel more, and it seems I have a constant smile on my face. Life is breezier and lighter, and this season brings a sense of happiness to my marriage and personal life.

The rotation of the seasons, the rotation of life and marriage

As we rotate out of the fall of the year into winter I wonder, darlings, what our wheel of fortune will be. Certainly, we will have enjoyable times and inconveniences. Our inconveniences must be taken in stride. Our goal is to live each day to its fullest. We are women after 50 and in control of our destinies. Let’s make a plan to make life delicious in 2023, and remember to decide together on the direction of your marriage and life, making thoughtful choices for your future.

Communication: The Lifeblood of Our Marriage

If there is one truth I have discovered in over 30 years of marriage, it is that communication is the heartbeat of a successful marriage. A healthy marriage thrives when both partners feel heard, understood, and valued. My husband and I have always made it a priority to talk openly about our feelings, dreams, and even our worries. We listen to each other with empathy, knowing that honest communication is the bridge that connects our hearts.

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I can offer is to never underestimate the power of quality time together. For us, regular date nights have been a cherished tradition—an opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and focus on each other. Whether it’s a simple dinner at home or a walk by the lake, these moments allow us to reconnect, share our desires, and strengthen our bond as a married couple.

Studies—and my own experience—show that married couples who prioritize communication and make time for each other are more likely to enjoy a happy, lasting relationship. It’s not about grand gestures, but about the daily act of sharing your thoughts and listening with an open heart. By nurturing this connection, you lay the groundwork for a marriage that can weather any storm and celebrate every joy. So, my advice to every married couple is this: keep talking, keep listening, and never stop making time for one another. That is the secret to a truly great marriage.

What are the secrets of a happy marriage?

I have been asked, ‘What are the secrets to a happy marriage?”

Harmony sweet harmony.  Like the spring of the year;  sunshine, birds chirping, leaves sprouting- joy, laughter, and growing together.

In actuality: “We choose wisely. We put each other above all the rest. We always go to bed together. Every day we say, “I love you. On a lighter but serious note, we are on the same page, politically!”  That is my recipe.

• Marrying the right man has a million perks – a million fringe benefits, darling. Marrying the wrong man creates a million problems – a  constant blizzard.
• Putting others ahead of your spouse or significate others creates separation. Like the Red Sea parting!
• Going to bed together is uniting and peaceful and a lovely way to end a day. A perfect sunset. Try not to go to bed angry; resolving conflicts before sleep can strengthen your bond, though sometimes it’s okay to reconnect in the morning.
• Saying I love you is like repeating your vows. The perfect rainbow.

In a good marriage, you should expect both joy and challenges, and managing your expectations is key to long-term happiness. Remember, a good marriage requires hard work and ongoing commitment from both partners.

I married the right man

I was lucky, I met and married the right man. He married the right woman. After 6 years of widowhood, he made a list of what he needed in a wife. I fit. Perfectly. He asked me to marry him on our first date. The perfect storm of positive emotion between us.

Because I married the right man, we’re two peas in a pod. We click. When he is down (almost never) I fill his cup. When I am down (almost never), he fills mine. We are both committed to making our marriage work, no matter what challenges arise. Each person in a marriage has the responsibility to nurture and maintain a healthy relationship, and we take that seriously. Marriage is a deal between two people that requires cooperation, compromise, and understanding. We respect one another, laugh together and never stay angry. We know that insisting on doing things our own way can create conflict, so we value compromise and flexibility. We also assume responsibility for our own mistakes, which helps us grow as individuals and as a couple. Personal growth as a person is essential to building a strong marriage, and we encourage each other to keep learning and improving. Keeping our promise to each other has been the foundation of our trust. We put in the effort to stay married through the ups and downs, knowing that lasting relationships require intentional work. And, thank goodness, we are aligned politically, darling! Strong relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, and that has been key for us.

He is very rational (I love that) and I balance him out with my curiosity, lack of fear, and my need to live outside the box. We are the Ying and the Yang and that suits us fine. Like the seasons of the year, ever-changing and growing but grounded like the earth – like our marriage.

My heart melts as he walks through the door almost 32 years later. He has earned my devotion. When we are not together, ‘he is all around me’ every day of every month of every season of the year.

Let’s talk about it darling

I realize that many marriages are in fragile states. I know that many women over 50 are hanging in there for different reasons. I  know many of you reading this story wish you were in my shoes or would like to be eventually. Please reach out to me if you care to. And, please consider joining my private Facebook Group, Celebrate Life. The women at CL exchange thoughts constantly and are a lovely group of women. Remember there are Seasons… There are the reasons…There are the joys…