When daily upsets occur, we have choices. To put it bluntly, darlings, we can sink or we can swim. To sink is to shatter all hope. To swim is to immerse ourselves and plunge into a problem using logic, reason, judgment, rationality and often times good common sense.
Many of us spend more time worrying about the problem than acting upon it. There is no rationale in that.
I know that bad experiences inevitably happen to all of us. I want you to realize that unpleasant situations can stimulate growth in character development, increase faith in one’s self-confidence and ultimately even change through the experience. When things go wrong… cultivate this positive belief with enthusiasm.
When things go wrong I say,
Be An Optimist
My first thoughts when things go wrong range from exasperation to anger to fear to sadness and then, with calmness, determination, spirit, and logic, I adapt to the situation at hand and swim with enthusiasm.
I say to myself,
“I will figure out a solution. This too shall pass. I want to stay afloat. I am hopeful.”
My desire to stay afloat is so strong it sometimes scares me.
Learn From a Failure and Realize Self-Growth
The Dali Lama says, “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.”
Two evenings ago, my ultimate concierge and I were dining with close friends. My girlfriend, Ellen, started a company as a young woman while raising children.
Today, it is a booming success. Her company is The Barge Lady. We talked about the trials and tribulations of starting a company. We both said,“OMG, the millions of mistakes we made and still make.”
And then we said, “There was a lesson to learn from every failure, but failure never stopped us because we never lost our eagerness and energy and positivity.
This, my darlings, can be applied to everything in our daily lives, from working on the dilemma in our family to the airlines losing our luggage, to getting a flat tire, to living with a retired husband and on and on. We learn by solving.
When all else fails a wise person asks for advice. I ask people whose opinion I trust. I ask a mentor, a co-worker, a friend, my husband, or my mother. I am never afraid to ask for help. I am excited to seek advice and learn.
It is important to stay the course when things go wrong.
There are exceptions that we have to accept when things go wrong but I consider staying the course as positive. It is not easy to always accept. That takes persistence and strength of character because you have to know when to let go.’ On the other side of the coin, the secret is: to know when to regroup and carry on.
We all have things we cope with. This is a fact of life. We cannot cope when we are upset because we are not rational or calm. So, first things first:
Tell yourself to take a deep breath and turn down the alarm going off in your head. Stop freaking out! I know because I absolutely freak out over my computer and Dropbox problems. This does not serve me well.
You, darlings, likely freak out over other matters. We all freak out at times! What good does that do any of us?
Instead, we have to try and regulate or adapt to our situation by staying calm, a great coping skill. If it is my computer I have a person to call. If my washing machine breaks I have a number to call for help. These are all fixable situations.
Remember the line: the calm before the storm. Don’t allow the storm to take you over when you are in a fixable situation.
Then there is emotional coping. We are wise women. We have bloomed into maturity. We are bloomer-smart. We are also human beings who feel all types of emotion when things go wrong in our lives, so once again I say to you and to myself, “stay calm; don’t muddy the waters.”
We are bloomer-smart women and we have learned and earned our emotional coping skills. All we have to do… is use them.
How Do You Decide Whether to Sink or Swim?
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