What Kind of Arrangement Are You?May 1, 2018
I was recently reading an interview that Brigitte Macron, the French President’s wife, gave to a French magazine. In the article, she described herself as more than ‘a decorative vase of flowers.’ And, of course, that is true.
My immediate thought was how delightful and telling it would be to have a luncheon, and instead of playing cards after lunch, invite each of the women to try and depict her personality by painting flowers and then arranging the flowers in a vase.
I could provide them with drawing paper and watercolors and a paintbrush, and after the experiment, they could frame their artwork or toss it, but how refreshing to view how the women perceived themselves through the medium of art.
Each woman would have her distinct style. How fun!
The colors they chose, the sizes and shapes of the flowers they drew and how they arranged the flowers in their vases, free-flowing or very conservative, are all elements which would help to tell their stories.
The container itself would be telling, too. Would they choose a clear, modern glass filled with cool water or traditional Waterford? Or possibly a lacquered vase with a design? Whatever they decided, it would be an exciting and telling art project!
I began to daydream as I thought of my list of women. Then I took my thoughts a step further. Would the women surprise me? Would they use summer colors when I felt they would use winter? Or spring colors when I was sure they would like fall? Would their arrangement be tight and exact or free-flowing? Would the size of the flowers be tiny or huge florals or a mix?
What if Their Arrangement Surprised Me?
If there were a surprise with one of the women’s arrangements, I would ask myself, “Why?” Was there a changed element in her lifestyle that we had not discussed? Had I been missing something all along that took me by surprise?
If there was a change in her lifestyle, was I willing to flow along with her because she meant so much to me? Or had I all along kidded myself into believing she was what she was not?
My musings today are about innocently changed lifestyles that could have an adverse reaction between good friends.
What Does This All Mean?
I have a plan, my darlings, because women, like arrangements, have a distinct style. Unless an element in her lifestyle arises to change the dynamics of the friendship or something pops up that interferes with the past happy dynamics of their friendship, both women may begin to react as they never have before and think to themselves, “Where did that come from?”
Ask This Question Before Judging
Has a new element in my friend’s life developed that changed her ability to be the friend she used to be?
Enters, what I call ‘the glitch.’ If the case is due to a life change and you value the friendship, it is up to both of you to have a warm and loving discussion and figure out how to make your friendship work, with the change in her lifestyle, which has created ‘the glitch.’
A True Story of My Own
I will happily use myself as an example of the friend who added a new dimension to her life. I no longer have as much time to devote to my girlfriends or myself. I occasionally am late. I may cancel if I know my friend is covered, such as when I am supposed to be playing cards.
These circumstances may make my friend(s) feel I no longer care and they may back away from me. I recognize their feelings, although nothing could be further from the truth.
They don’t understand I added a new element to my life. I work!!! Work takes time, especially when you love what you do, like me.
Others of you may encounter other life-changing elements; you have become a grandmother, or you are downsizing and going through a move.
I also have a husband who wants me and needs me and family interactions that take precedence over friendship. For example, I remember before I started working, I would spend happy hours finding the perfect gifts for my girlfriends because I loved doing it. Now I spend my time writing to you!
My Answer to ‘The Glitch’
Not all relationships are created equally. One of my friends, who I love, gets me. She knows my lifestyle. She will call me back three times a day until she reaches me. She is secure in our friendship and also values our friendship. She knows I care and am just diverted! So she rises to the occasion; never making me feel guilty (but I am because I care) and calls.
To avoid misunderstandings, talk to your friends who make your heart sing and express your feelings with one another. Work out a solvable solution that works for both of you. They are just as special, even when there is ‘the glitch.’ Hang on tight to them, darlings.
Another Example of Friendship With ‘A Glitch’
You have been friends for years, and she evaporates from your life because of family, work, illness, moving or a hundred different things. But when you talk to one another by phone or see one another in person, there is still that fizzle! You are both lucky, darlings. I call these gals best friends.
And then you have those special gal friends who you don’t care what their flower arrangement looks like. One day it can be modern, one day traditional, and one-day weeds! I have those friends, too. I love them the best.
We love being together whenever we can. There is no element of misunderstandings in our friendship. We are spiritual clones. If you were to put forty different thoughts in a blender, some hers and others mine, we would still be spiritual clones. How lucky is that?
Are you wondering what my arrangement would look like? That is easy, darling. My flowers would be freestyle, large and ‘blooming’ in a clear glass vase with clear water. Mine would be colorful. I am Winter, Spring, and Summer. I am not Fall.
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